Quotedump
(Happy birthday, _minxy_!)
The car: Cool.
The girl: Unconvincing as a scientist, though they're not doing her any favors by forcing her to act with a car.
The "hero": An ex-Army Ranger who's $90,000 in debt to gangsters willing to take his best friend for collateral. First scene of him is in bed with two women. I think he's supposed to be some kind of Gary Stu, but he mostly seems like a real asshole.
Can I just have a show about the car? --nestra on the new Knight Rider
I'm beginning to think that "aliens made them go to a gay bar" is Torchwood fandom's answer to "aliens made them do it." I'm kind of digging it, because Jack and Ianto don't really need alien influence to get it on, but Ianto just might need extraterrestrial intervention to wear sparkly club shirts. --greensilver
I've clearly been watching too much political coverage - all the presidential candidates were giving speeches in my dream last night. Obama went on and on about hope, Hillary about experience, McCain about the war, and then Huckabee got up and spewed out nonsense syllables for five minutes. The pundits were very impressed by this - "That'll get everyone's attention!" they said. I tried to tell people that he wasn't even speaking a real language and it didn't make any sense, but they wouldn't listen.
Then there was a zombie apocalypse, and the dream got a lot less tedious. --elz
The apocalypse just gets more boring every day. First I find out I'll still have to mow my lawn, and now I'll still have to read fanfic.
Fuck this, I want my roving bands of mutants. --serrana
omg I am so oversharing, this is so AWESOMELY what the Internets are for! --agentotter
Derek Reese's ability to listen with sympathy to John's adolescent angst amazes me. John, I love you, but maybe whining about your childhood to the survivor of a genocide and a nuclear holocaust should give you more of a sense of perspective? I know, I know, you want a dad. Please get a haircut. --coffeeandink on The Demon Hand
If the Wraith have human cloning technology, WHY DON'T THEY CLONE THEMSELVES SOME FOOD?
Just eat it before it spoils. Buy a fridge. Something. --samdonne
-My friend tells me that there's a genre of Xena fanfic known as "uber", which places the characters in modern settings and makes them have lots of sex. I'm confused as to why that's its own genre, since the show seems to do that three or four times a season, but what I want to know is, where's the fanfic where the unemployed twentysomething hunts down Xena and wreaks a terrifying revenge for inspiring her to earn a completely useless BA in Classics?
That said, this is really not a good show. Or as my friend says, "Very feminist! Not terribly coherent!" --tripoli8
Oh, I am totally with you on that Beck/Heather train. Take heart! HIs wife might be dead! --yahtzee63 on Jericho
SCC pulled up in front of me, kicked open its car door, and said, "Vid me if you want to live."
... I, er, just need to find the right song. --shati
--the McKay hologram is "fully interactive." FULLY INTERACTIVE. Oh, that cracks me up, imagining a good portion of the audience perking up and going, "ooooh, how convenient for porn." --minnow1212 on The Last Man
Let's hear it for the liberal arts education! Yes, the education that gives you the ability to BS your way beautifully through cocktail parties and confound your friends with an unexpected nod to Richard III in the course of conversation.
Now if only I could get invited to cocktail parties. --wishfulaces
How hard is it to refrain from spending $5000 on a prostitute? --gingerk on Eliot Spitzer
Over the last three years we've had the Year of Brainmelting Rapidity, the Year of Wrist-Slitting Grimness, and, most recently, Year of Utter Creepiness. --lapillus on Vividcon Premieres
You have perhaps spent too much time in the garden when the transplants start talking to you. One sad trampled lobelia was shouting "Save meee!" and the others were shouting "Wuss!". The lobelias in my brain are libertarian bastards; who knew? --jonquil
You know what? There should be a metafandom for joy. How to sort out joy from Things What Other People Like And I Hate With A Burning Passion is left for an exercise for the student. --untrue_accounts
The cockatoo is Jesus.
No, really. Its owner turns out to be this mysterious guy with a laser cross. He turns out to be Judas, trying to make up for his sin. And the cockatoo is Jesus.
Oh, and there's also amnesia, reincarnation, resurrection, apocalypse, and God turns out to be a computer. But all that is overshadowed by the fact that the cockatoo is Jesus. --rachelmanija on Innocent Bird
I can't buy stuff on Craigslist if the ad poster can't write/spell to at least a minimal level of decency. I have the same problem on ebay. I rationalize this as: if this person can't spell "wrought iron", how could she possibly manage to get her act together enough to send it to me? --casperflea
("Long-winded, but nice." This is what I'm hoping goes on my gravestone.) --thefourthvine
Writer's block (or more accurately WTF was going to happen next again? Bastard, fucking hell, fuck-fuck, cock, bastard PANTS!!!!!! what was I writing about just then?) sucks. So I shall drink more red wine and sacrifice a pair of socks to Artemis and pray that my muse (Clio, which really, is bloody fucking useless - what's the use of having a muse of history when you're writing contemporary science fiction?) shows up. Actually, I'd like all of them to show up - Calliope, Erato, Euterpe, Melpomene and Polyhymnia, please report to my brain toot de damn sweet, si vous plais. Terpsichoreand Urania pouvoir cassez-vous und Thalia has never done me a damn bit of good anyway. Bunch of bloody faithless harpies, really. Except for the scary wings and claws and attacking the Argonauts. --life_on_queen
Whoever the prop master for that show is, they're a genius with jello. --denynothing1 on The Office
Fandom, you so crazy. (Please note I could say this any day of the week and it would be exactly as true as it is now.) --greensilver
I was feeling pretty chipper today!
And then I watched Torchwood.
Thanks a lot, show. --gatezilla on Exit Wounds
I don't care if you're a Cylon! You'll always be my boyfriend. --vonnie_k on Chief Tyrol
I mean, I understand not all characters are for all fans (although... if you hate Veronica, what the hell are you doing watching the show??) but what really chapped my hide is that the the same fans who were bitching her out for whatever flaws she had (and she did have some big ones, which actually made me love her more because I thought the flaws made her interesting, but whatever; this isn't about me) would then go ahead and totally forgive Logan for stuff like, oh, arranging homeless boxing and setting community pools on fire and putting roofie in people's drinks and being a racist classist jackhole with conscience the size of a gnat. Things like that. --vonnie_k
Admittedly, my past fandoms have included such masters of planning dumbly as Angel, Dean Winchester, and Fox "I'm Going to Drill a Hole in My Head" Mulder, but Bumpkin has just made them all look good. Even Mulder. --coffeeandink on Romance of the Red Dust
You know how some people leave it for a while and then discover that, really, they're actually pretty happy away from the whirl and stress and weirdness of LJ fandom? And, like, do important and meaningful stuff?
Yeah. I've discovered that, as I suspected, OMG, I am SO not that person.
I mean, it's REALLY good for humanity that people like that exist, because that's how shit gets done and worlds get changed and so on and so forth, but holy crap in a basket, I was starting to get the shakes. --minim_calibre
An actual conversation had at work a few days ago. Seriously, people, this is so fucking insane I could not make it up.
The Sledge: [on the verge of tears] Friendly, I have a question to ask you. And it's really important.
Friendly: [hesitant] Ooookay.
The Sledge: Okay, the other day, when I was finished working with my horse, and I went to put her back in the corral, she -- [at this point he basically sobs, I am not shitting you] -- she started mounting the other mares! Should I be worried? [voice cracks in deep emo sorrow]
Everyone: *pauses, blinks, takes a moment to assess whether this is some elaborate joke or whether he's seriously going to cry because he thinks his horse is queer*
Friendly: No, it's just a dominance game.
The Sledge: So it doesn't mean she's -- [cannot bring himself to say the word, apparently]
Friendly: Um, no.
Me: [deploying Eyebrows of Doom] And it would be a problem if she were?
The Sledge: [laughs the nervous laugh of the seriously-realizing-he's-just-screwed-himself] Oh, no! I just need to know where to give my support.
I had no answer for that one. I mean, how do you talk to a guy who's worried his horse might need moral support to deal with its being queer? --agentotter
...although Burn Notice is a fabulous, fantastic, well-written and fantastically acted show, with beautiful scenery, it's clear the people filming it think to themselves, on a regular basis "Hey, lets show off our mad video-editing skills!" and then go and fuck up every second of footage they can with bizarre-ass cuts that make the scenes useless for vidding. Seriously, aka_arduinna and I were sitting there, watching one particularly impressive explosion, and she was all "This will be great footage for a vid! ...if only they'd stop... cutting to different angles... seven now, all within 10 seconds... okay, nevermind then." --therienne
SG1 was my first active online fandom, in 1998-99; back then, I was purely a gen writer and reader. It was years later, when I *got* slash, that I went back and read a lot of Jack/Daniel fic.
It tickles me that almost 10 years on, I am writing in a fandom where people travel through Stargates and I can use Sam Carter as a current character if I want. It's like bumping into someone you knew years ago: "How have you been? What are you up to? Oh, Atlantis?" --rheanna27
You know, I’m sure Beau Bridges is a really nice guy, but it pains me to watch him try to act. Even with the God is Dead speech. Most interesting thing going on the scene is the lighting. --_minxy_ on Ark of Truth
If the wound to your soul can be fixed via a boob grab, then it must have been more of a soul papercut. --sparkymonster
The car: Cool.
The girl: Unconvincing as a scientist, though they're not doing her any favors by forcing her to act with a car.
The "hero": An ex-Army Ranger who's $90,000 in debt to gangsters willing to take his best friend for collateral. First scene of him is in bed with two women. I think he's supposed to be some kind of Gary Stu, but he mostly seems like a real asshole.
Can I just have a show about the car? --nestra on the new Knight Rider
I'm beginning to think that "aliens made them go to a gay bar" is Torchwood fandom's answer to "aliens made them do it." I'm kind of digging it, because Jack and Ianto don't really need alien influence to get it on, but Ianto just might need extraterrestrial intervention to wear sparkly club shirts. --greensilver
I've clearly been watching too much political coverage - all the presidential candidates were giving speeches in my dream last night. Obama went on and on about hope, Hillary about experience, McCain about the war, and then Huckabee got up and spewed out nonsense syllables for five minutes. The pundits were very impressed by this - "That'll get everyone's attention!" they said. I tried to tell people that he wasn't even speaking a real language and it didn't make any sense, but they wouldn't listen.
Then there was a zombie apocalypse, and the dream got a lot less tedious. --elz
The apocalypse just gets more boring every day. First I find out I'll still have to mow my lawn, and now I'll still have to read fanfic.
Fuck this, I want my roving bands of mutants. --serrana
omg I am so oversharing, this is so AWESOMELY what the Internets are for! --agentotter
Derek Reese's ability to listen with sympathy to John's adolescent angst amazes me. John, I love you, but maybe whining about your childhood to the survivor of a genocide and a nuclear holocaust should give you more of a sense of perspective? I know, I know, you want a dad. Please get a haircut. --coffeeandink on The Demon Hand
If the Wraith have human cloning technology, WHY DON'T THEY CLONE THEMSELVES SOME FOOD?
Just eat it before it spoils. Buy a fridge. Something. --samdonne
-My friend tells me that there's a genre of Xena fanfic known as "uber", which places the characters in modern settings and makes them have lots of sex. I'm confused as to why that's its own genre, since the show seems to do that three or four times a season, but what I want to know is, where's the fanfic where the unemployed twentysomething hunts down Xena and wreaks a terrifying revenge for inspiring her to earn a completely useless BA in Classics?
That said, this is really not a good show. Or as my friend says, "Very feminist! Not terribly coherent!" --tripoli8
Oh, I am totally with you on that Beck/Heather train. Take heart! HIs wife might be dead! --yahtzee63 on Jericho
SCC pulled up in front of me, kicked open its car door, and said, "Vid me if you want to live."
... I, er, just need to find the right song. --shati
--the McKay hologram is "fully interactive." FULLY INTERACTIVE. Oh, that cracks me up, imagining a good portion of the audience perking up and going, "ooooh, how convenient for porn." --minnow1212 on The Last Man
Let's hear it for the liberal arts education! Yes, the education that gives you the ability to BS your way beautifully through cocktail parties and confound your friends with an unexpected nod to Richard III in the course of conversation.
Now if only I could get invited to cocktail parties. --wishfulaces
How hard is it to refrain from spending $5000 on a prostitute? --gingerk on Eliot Spitzer
Over the last three years we've had the Year of Brainmelting Rapidity, the Year of Wrist-Slitting Grimness, and, most recently, Year of Utter Creepiness. --lapillus on Vividcon Premieres
You have perhaps spent too much time in the garden when the transplants start talking to you. One sad trampled lobelia was shouting "Save meee!" and the others were shouting "Wuss!". The lobelias in my brain are libertarian bastards; who knew? --jonquil
You know what? There should be a metafandom for joy. How to sort out joy from Things What Other People Like And I Hate With A Burning Passion is left for an exercise for the student. --untrue_accounts
The cockatoo is Jesus.
No, really. Its owner turns out to be this mysterious guy with a laser cross. He turns out to be Judas, trying to make up for his sin. And the cockatoo is Jesus.
Oh, and there's also amnesia, reincarnation, resurrection, apocalypse, and God turns out to be a computer. But all that is overshadowed by the fact that the cockatoo is Jesus. --rachelmanija on Innocent Bird
I can't buy stuff on Craigslist if the ad poster can't write/spell to at least a minimal level of decency. I have the same problem on ebay. I rationalize this as: if this person can't spell "wrought iron", how could she possibly manage to get her act together enough to send it to me? --casperflea
("Long-winded, but nice." This is what I'm hoping goes on my gravestone.) --thefourthvine
Writer's block (or more accurately WTF was going to happen next again? Bastard, fucking hell, fuck-fuck, cock, bastard PANTS!!!!!! what was I writing about just then?) sucks. So I shall drink more red wine and sacrifice a pair of socks to Artemis and pray that my muse (Clio, which really, is bloody fucking useless - what's the use of having a muse of history when you're writing contemporary science fiction?) shows up. Actually, I'd like all of them to show up - Calliope, Erato, Euterpe, Melpomene and Polyhymnia, please report to my brain toot de damn sweet, si vous plais. Terpsichoreand Urania pouvoir cassez-vous und Thalia has never done me a damn bit of good anyway. Bunch of bloody faithless harpies, really. Except for the scary wings and claws and attacking the Argonauts. --life_on_queen
Whoever the prop master for that show is, they're a genius with jello. --denynothing1 on The Office
Fandom, you so crazy. (Please note I could say this any day of the week and it would be exactly as true as it is now.) --greensilver
I was feeling pretty chipper today!
And then I watched Torchwood.
Thanks a lot, show. --gatezilla on Exit Wounds
I don't care if you're a Cylon! You'll always be my boyfriend. --vonnie_k on Chief Tyrol
I mean, I understand not all characters are for all fans (although... if you hate Veronica, what the hell are you doing watching the show??) but what really chapped my hide is that the the same fans who were bitching her out for whatever flaws she had (and she did have some big ones, which actually made me love her more because I thought the flaws made her interesting, but whatever; this isn't about me) would then go ahead and totally forgive Logan for stuff like, oh, arranging homeless boxing and setting community pools on fire and putting roofie in people's drinks and being a racist classist jackhole with conscience the size of a gnat. Things like that. --vonnie_k
Admittedly, my past fandoms have included such masters of planning dumbly as Angel, Dean Winchester, and Fox "I'm Going to Drill a Hole in My Head" Mulder, but Bumpkin has just made them all look good. Even Mulder. --coffeeandink on Romance of the Red Dust
You know how some people leave it for a while and then discover that, really, they're actually pretty happy away from the whirl and stress and weirdness of LJ fandom? And, like, do important and meaningful stuff?
Yeah. I've discovered that, as I suspected, OMG, I am SO not that person.
I mean, it's REALLY good for humanity that people like that exist, because that's how shit gets done and worlds get changed and so on and so forth, but holy crap in a basket, I was starting to get the shakes. --minim_calibre
An actual conversation had at work a few days ago. Seriously, people, this is so fucking insane I could not make it up.
The Sledge: [on the verge of tears] Friendly, I have a question to ask you. And it's really important.
Friendly: [hesitant] Ooookay.
The Sledge: Okay, the other day, when I was finished working with my horse, and I went to put her back in the corral, she -- [at this point he basically sobs, I am not shitting you] -- she started mounting the other mares! Should I be worried? [voice cracks in deep emo sorrow]
Everyone: *pauses, blinks, takes a moment to assess whether this is some elaborate joke or whether he's seriously going to cry because he thinks his horse is queer*
Friendly: No, it's just a dominance game.
The Sledge: So it doesn't mean she's -- [cannot bring himself to say the word, apparently]
Friendly: Um, no.
Me: [deploying Eyebrows of Doom] And it would be a problem if she were?
The Sledge: [laughs the nervous laugh of the seriously-realizing-he's-just-screwed-himself] Oh, no! I just need to know where to give my support.
I had no answer for that one. I mean, how do you talk to a guy who's worried his horse might need moral support to deal with its being queer? --agentotter
...although Burn Notice is a fabulous, fantastic, well-written and fantastically acted show, with beautiful scenery, it's clear the people filming it think to themselves, on a regular basis "Hey, lets show off our mad video-editing skills!" and then go and fuck up every second of footage they can with bizarre-ass cuts that make the scenes useless for vidding. Seriously, aka_arduinna and I were sitting there, watching one particularly impressive explosion, and she was all "This will be great footage for a vid! ...if only they'd stop... cutting to different angles... seven now, all within 10 seconds... okay, nevermind then." --therienne
SG1 was my first active online fandom, in 1998-99; back then, I was purely a gen writer and reader. It was years later, when I *got* slash, that I went back and read a lot of Jack/Daniel fic.
It tickles me that almost 10 years on, I am writing in a fandom where people travel through Stargates and I can use Sam Carter as a current character if I want. It's like bumping into someone you knew years ago: "How have you been? What are you up to? Oh, Atlantis?" --rheanna27
You know, I’m sure Beau Bridges is a really nice guy, but it pains me to watch him try to act. Even with the God is Dead speech. Most interesting thing going on the scene is the lighting. --_minxy_ on Ark of Truth
If the wound to your soul can be fixed via a boob grab, then it must have been more of a soul papercut. --sparkymonster