(no subject)
So once again I am back here at school. I hate it here. I am miserable. I have no friends here it seems like, but then again I do. I just always feel so alone and stressed out when I am here. I am pissed right now though, because I feel like Rudy is all that I have. I know almost nothing about my friends lives anymore, and none of them even seem to care. It seems like I have no choice but to be with Rudy all the time. I mean dont get me wrong, I love him and I love being with him, but the fact that when I am not with him I feel like I have nothing is sad. I have my school life and my home life, and the two dont seem to mix. They used to, but not anymore. Everything has changed to much and I hate change. I finally said screw it and called my mom this weekend. I was supposed to go over there and pick up my tax refund check, but everything kept coming up. I guess there is always next weekend. Last weekend was drama filled again. Friday night everyone was going to party at the Leniors house, but Kim still hates me so we didnt go. Then Saturday when we hung out with the boys, all we heard about was the party and they were all too tired to drink, so this weekend kinda sucked. No piledness. Its sad but I started just making a little drink here and there when me and rudy are just sitting around, oh wells! Oh then at 2;30am I got a call from my sister, but I figured it was just another drunken call so I didnt answer, then she called rudys phone. She told him to just have me call her the next day since we had just gotten in bed, but we could both tell something was wrong. TUrned out that she got home from work and my brothers dumbass friends were doing lines in her house. If you know me and my sister, you know that we lost a good group of our best friends to the shit. We hate it, and she had asked him before to not have that shit in her house. She came over balling and we just sat on the couch and talked. Rudy was so understanding, I love him so much, and he made sure that she knew that she could come over ANYTIME even if I am not there, since we are neighbors now. So then me and sister-lou just drove around for a bit, and I decided to go stay with her, she didnt want to go back. Rudy understood so we went back and my brother was being a complete asshole. And if you know my brother at all, you know that he never talks disrespectfully, and he has never talked bad to me or my sister. We are kind of a circle of best friends. People think that that is wierd, but if you saw how we grew up and went through what we did, you would understand. We had to stick together, we had no choice. So he was being a rude ass and then went and passed out. So me and krystal kicked his friends out, and they were freaking out because we were mad at them. They were all worried, it was good fun. then me and sisterlou went to bed and watched Now and Then, a little nostaligia(sp) from our childhood. But that was pretty much the extent of my weekend. Cant really vent on here since you never know who reads it, I HATE THAT! peace out