Teeth and other complicated things....
Today I got an email from the dentist in Melbourne with all my x-rays from when my front teeth were broken. I nearly vomited. Obviously I can't normally see them, but the pins in my teeth are so clearly highlighted in the x-rays. I can see where the right tooth snapped above the gum. I still can't comprehend that it actually happened. Every single night, without fail, I will be almost asleep and then a random flash will go through my head and I see myself falling and hitting my mouth on the kerb. All I see is the fall and the way I land, nothing else. I just wish I could remember something, anything, else. I feel as though I'm going insane. I've tried talking to people about it, but no one will ever really understand, and it just makes everyone uncomfortable when I bring it up. Oh how awful of me - I'm making them uncomfortable.
One of my good friends has been suggesting he wants to be more than friends. I've told him no. As much as I like him, I am so not ready to be with anyone now. My head is completely fucked, and it doesn't seem as though it's getting any better. I thought about going to therapist, and made an appointment, but then I didn't turn up. Therapists are overpaid fake doctors and I should be able to sort out my own problems. I'm 22 for crying out loud, I'm not a child anymore.
I hate living at home now. It's driving me mad having to answer to people all the time. 'Where are you going? When will you be home? Where did you go last night? Who are you going out with?'....I know she only means well but I spent a year not having to answer those questions and I don't see why I should have to start doing it again. I hate my Dad. He shouted at me this morning for absolutely no reason, and the look in his eyes when he was doing it was just pure dislike. I always thought that even though we didn't get on, I was still his daughter so he still cared about me, but after this morning I now know that he doesn't.
What a fabulous start to the new year.
One of my good friends has been suggesting he wants to be more than friends. I've told him no. As much as I like him, I am so not ready to be with anyone now. My head is completely fucked, and it doesn't seem as though it's getting any better. I thought about going to therapist, and made an appointment, but then I didn't turn up. Therapists are overpaid fake doctors and I should be able to sort out my own problems. I'm 22 for crying out loud, I'm not a child anymore.
I hate living at home now. It's driving me mad having to answer to people all the time. 'Where are you going? When will you be home? Where did you go last night? Who are you going out with?'....I know she only means well but I spent a year not having to answer those questions and I don't see why I should have to start doing it again. I hate my Dad. He shouted at me this morning for absolutely no reason, and the look in his eyes when he was doing it was just pure dislike. I always thought that even though we didn't get on, I was still his daughter so he still cared about me, but after this morning I now know that he doesn't.
What a fabulous start to the new year.