FF: The Ghosts That Haunt Us (1-3/12)
Here's the sequel to Fixation and Denial. I've finished this one as well which is good cause I have 3 I'm currently writing Moving On, First Impressions, and Taking The Next Step (this one is a sequel to First Impressions that happens years later).
Title: The Ghosts That Haunt Us
Rating: Varies, M chaps labelled
Pairing: C/O, OFC/Serena
Disclaimer: I don't own them....I want to, though ;)
Feedback: YES!
Chapter 1
PG-13
The next morning Liv woke early, and the sudden rush of emotions she had experienced the night before returned to her. She sat up in bed; carefully disentangling her limbs from Casey’s and put on a tank top and her jeans she had worn yesterday. She walked out onto the deck behind her best friend Alex Trent’s cabin and leaned up against a post that supported the roof Alex had built onto the cabin’s deck. She stood there in silence, going over last night’s events again and again in her mind; trying to figure out just where she lost control over her emotions. She was so deep in thought that Liv didn’t even notice Alex come out onto the deck behind her, “Liv? Are you okay?”
Liv jumped and turned to see Alex looking curiously at her. “I’m fine, it’s just…”
“So you’re not fine then Liv,” Alex smirked humorously, “What’s wrong?”
“Casey and I…” Liv searched for the best phraseology for the situation, “we had sex last night.”
If Liv was confused over her own emotions at that moment, Alex’s response added to her confusion even further, “And? What, it wasn’t what you expected? Was it better? Worse?”
Alex, seeing Liv’s confusion, decided to actually help her friend out, “What’s wrong Liv?”
“I’ve never been close with anyone Alex, not like this. I mean, I’ve had sex with women before, but with Casey…”
Alex nodded understandingly, “If felt perfect, didn’t it? Every touch was arousing, every kiss intoxicating, every moan the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard…”
Liv looked at Alex in wonder, “How did you know?”
“Because it’s what I felt the first time Serena and I made love. I felt so complete the next morning, like everything finally made sense in my life; like the last piece of the puzzle clicked into place.” Alex studied Liv’s face as Liv’s ‘puzzle’ clicked into place inside her head.
“Alex, I’m not relationship material…I mean, I have one night stands and then wash my hands of the person; Casey deserves the best, not me.”
After about ten minutes of arguing, Alex sighed, “Liv, I want an apology when you and Casey get together; but for now, I’ve got a sexy beautiful woman laying in bed waiting for me and I hate to disappoint her.” With a grin, Alex disappeared back into the cabin, leaving Liv alone once again with her thoughts
Chapter 2
PG-13 I think, talks a bit about rape
Once back in the cabin Alex took the coffee she had prepared before talking to Liv and poured two cups, then walked into her bedroom. Serena smiled at Alex as she handed her a steaming cup of coffee, “Mmmm, you certainly know the way to a woman’s heart.”
Alex smiled as she kissed Serena lightly before pulling away, “Sorry I was gone when you woke up; I saw Liv outside and she looked like she needed someone to talk to.”
“Oh? What’s wrong? Did Casey expect too much? Was Liv disappointed?” Serena snuggled into Alex’s arms as she asked her lover about their friends’ budding relationship.
“Liv doesn’t think she’s worth Casey’s love.”
“Why would she think that?” Serena looked curiously up at her lover, who was frowning at the thought of Liv’s battle with her own self-worth.
“I can only tell you what Liv told me Serena, which isn’t much; and I promised her that…”
“Sweetheart, you were an FBI profiler and you have a degree in psychology; tell me what you think as a profiler. That way you won’t break your confidence with Liv.”
Alex looked at Serena in wonder, “Why didn’t I think of that?”
“Because I’m an ADA and used to getting around the rules,” Serena smirked at Alex, “so come on, profile away.”
Alex took a deep breath, “Ok, here goes…”
“Liv is the product of a rape; she was reminded of such every day by her mother. Her mother told her how ‘lucky’ Liv was that Serena Benson took care of her; she was told she was unworthy of such things, like love, from a very young age, which accounts for her lack of confidence. Her father is a rapist, which she was reminded of on a frequent basis; she’s afraid she’ll become like her father and harm someone. Her biggest strength is her biggest weakness; if she wasn’t an SVU detective she doesn’t know what she’d do but she frequently oversteps boundaries when it comes to rapists and their victims. The only long term relationships she’s ever had are with her work partner, Elliot Stabler, and me. No one else she’s ever let get close; Casey’s getting closer and breaking down that barrier, which scares the shit out of her.” Alex stopped and took a deep breath, “That’s my professional opinion.”
Serena thought for a moment before responding, “So it sounds like we have to convince Liv she’s good enough for Casey, but how do you undo years of conditioning?”
“It’s hard to do, you have to break down their psyche, which is dangerous to do…” Alex looked at Serena, “or CASEY can convince Liv she’s good enough for her; Liv’s more likely to follow her heart than her head then.”
“So then we need a plan; we need to get them to talk about our relationship so that Casey can bring their’s up…”
Serena had a wicked smile, which caused Alex to respond, “You have a plan, don’t you love?” Serena’s only response was a nod before she leaned up to kiss Alex and begin another round of lovemaking.
Chapter 3
PG
When Casey awoke that morning at 9am, she was upset to find that Olivia was no longer in bed with her and that the side Liv had slept on was cold to the touch. Where did Liv go? Last night was so amazing…we made love and it was so passionate and amazing and…where is she? Casey looked on the nightstand and saw a still steaming cup of coffee as well as a note, what is this? She picked up the note and recognized Serena’s handwriting:
Casey,
This morning Alex had a very interesting conversation with Liv, centering on the fact that Liv thinks she isn’t good enough for you which means that we have a problem on our hands. Yes Casey, WE have a problem; both Alex and I want to help, and we have a plan we want to put into play.
All you have to do is talk to Liv about our relationship, then tactfully steer the conversation onto the two of you. Genius, I know; we do what we can. Just make sure that you bring up the fact that Liv IS good enough for you; perfect, in fact.
With Love,
Your Best Friend
Serena
Casey smiled after reading the note; though Serena and Alex were meddling in her love life, she knew it was only because they wanted her to be happy and wanted the best for her.
Casey headed downstairs to find Alex cooking and Serena sitting at the counter. She smiled at the conversation Serena and Alex were having as she entered the kitchen area, “Good morning Alex, Rena; how are you two this morning?”
Serena smiled at Alex, “Very good Case, how are you?”
“I’m ok, considering the woman I professed my love to last night left my side to hide from me in order to convince herself that she’s not good enough for me.” Casey rubbed her head as she sat down at the counter next to her friend, “What do I do Serena?”
“Oh, so you ask the ADA but not the profiler…I see how it is,” Alex smirked at Casey, “next time you need help I’ll remember this moment.”
“Ok then, oh wonderful profiler tell me how I should win my woman back,” Casey smiled at Alex as Alex winked at her.
“Tell her over and over again that SHE is WORTHY of YOU. She needs to hear that repeatedly, be prepared to argue with her and fight her for control over the relationship. Let her set the pace, but don’t back down from the fight.”
“And what if she won’t listen and won’t see the light?”
“Convince her that the relationship is what YOU WANT. Repeat that if you have to, but keep in mind that to her, love is something she just isn’t allowed to have.”
Casey nodded in understanding at Alex’s words, “Ok, but how do I get on the topic of you two?”
Serena smiled, “We’ll handle that, just trust us.”
Title: The Ghosts That Haunt Us
Rating: Varies, M chaps labelled
Pairing: C/O, OFC/Serena
Disclaimer: I don't own them....I want to, though ;)
Feedback: YES!
Chapter 1
PG-13
The next morning Liv woke early, and the sudden rush of emotions she had experienced the night before returned to her. She sat up in bed; carefully disentangling her limbs from Casey’s and put on a tank top and her jeans she had worn yesterday. She walked out onto the deck behind her best friend Alex Trent’s cabin and leaned up against a post that supported the roof Alex had built onto the cabin’s deck. She stood there in silence, going over last night’s events again and again in her mind; trying to figure out just where she lost control over her emotions. She was so deep in thought that Liv didn’t even notice Alex come out onto the deck behind her, “Liv? Are you okay?”
Liv jumped and turned to see Alex looking curiously at her. “I’m fine, it’s just…”
“So you’re not fine then Liv,” Alex smirked humorously, “What’s wrong?”
“Casey and I…” Liv searched for the best phraseology for the situation, “we had sex last night.”
If Liv was confused over her own emotions at that moment, Alex’s response added to her confusion even further, “And? What, it wasn’t what you expected? Was it better? Worse?”
Alex, seeing Liv’s confusion, decided to actually help her friend out, “What’s wrong Liv?”
“I’ve never been close with anyone Alex, not like this. I mean, I’ve had sex with women before, but with Casey…”
Alex nodded understandingly, “If felt perfect, didn’t it? Every touch was arousing, every kiss intoxicating, every moan the most beautiful sound you’ve ever heard…”
Liv looked at Alex in wonder, “How did you know?”
“Because it’s what I felt the first time Serena and I made love. I felt so complete the next morning, like everything finally made sense in my life; like the last piece of the puzzle clicked into place.” Alex studied Liv’s face as Liv’s ‘puzzle’ clicked into place inside her head.
“Alex, I’m not relationship material…I mean, I have one night stands and then wash my hands of the person; Casey deserves the best, not me.”
After about ten minutes of arguing, Alex sighed, “Liv, I want an apology when you and Casey get together; but for now, I’ve got a sexy beautiful woman laying in bed waiting for me and I hate to disappoint her.” With a grin, Alex disappeared back into the cabin, leaving Liv alone once again with her thoughts
Chapter 2
PG-13 I think, talks a bit about rape
Once back in the cabin Alex took the coffee she had prepared before talking to Liv and poured two cups, then walked into her bedroom. Serena smiled at Alex as she handed her a steaming cup of coffee, “Mmmm, you certainly know the way to a woman’s heart.”
Alex smiled as she kissed Serena lightly before pulling away, “Sorry I was gone when you woke up; I saw Liv outside and she looked like she needed someone to talk to.”
“Oh? What’s wrong? Did Casey expect too much? Was Liv disappointed?” Serena snuggled into Alex’s arms as she asked her lover about their friends’ budding relationship.
“Liv doesn’t think she’s worth Casey’s love.”
“Why would she think that?” Serena looked curiously up at her lover, who was frowning at the thought of Liv’s battle with her own self-worth.
“I can only tell you what Liv told me Serena, which isn’t much; and I promised her that…”
“Sweetheart, you were an FBI profiler and you have a degree in psychology; tell me what you think as a profiler. That way you won’t break your confidence with Liv.”
Alex looked at Serena in wonder, “Why didn’t I think of that?”
“Because I’m an ADA and used to getting around the rules,” Serena smirked at Alex, “so come on, profile away.”
Alex took a deep breath, “Ok, here goes…”
“Liv is the product of a rape; she was reminded of such every day by her mother. Her mother told her how ‘lucky’ Liv was that Serena Benson took care of her; she was told she was unworthy of such things, like love, from a very young age, which accounts for her lack of confidence. Her father is a rapist, which she was reminded of on a frequent basis; she’s afraid she’ll become like her father and harm someone. Her biggest strength is her biggest weakness; if she wasn’t an SVU detective she doesn’t know what she’d do but she frequently oversteps boundaries when it comes to rapists and their victims. The only long term relationships she’s ever had are with her work partner, Elliot Stabler, and me. No one else she’s ever let get close; Casey’s getting closer and breaking down that barrier, which scares the shit out of her.” Alex stopped and took a deep breath, “That’s my professional opinion.”
Serena thought for a moment before responding, “So it sounds like we have to convince Liv she’s good enough for Casey, but how do you undo years of conditioning?”
“It’s hard to do, you have to break down their psyche, which is dangerous to do…” Alex looked at Serena, “or CASEY can convince Liv she’s good enough for her; Liv’s more likely to follow her heart than her head then.”
“So then we need a plan; we need to get them to talk about our relationship so that Casey can bring their’s up…”
Serena had a wicked smile, which caused Alex to respond, “You have a plan, don’t you love?” Serena’s only response was a nod before she leaned up to kiss Alex and begin another round of lovemaking.
Chapter 3
PG
When Casey awoke that morning at 9am, she was upset to find that Olivia was no longer in bed with her and that the side Liv had slept on was cold to the touch. Where did Liv go? Last night was so amazing…we made love and it was so passionate and amazing and…where is she? Casey looked on the nightstand and saw a still steaming cup of coffee as well as a note, what is this? She picked up the note and recognized Serena’s handwriting:
Casey,
This morning Alex had a very interesting conversation with Liv, centering on the fact that Liv thinks she isn’t good enough for you which means that we have a problem on our hands. Yes Casey, WE have a problem; both Alex and I want to help, and we have a plan we want to put into play.
All you have to do is talk to Liv about our relationship, then tactfully steer the conversation onto the two of you. Genius, I know; we do what we can. Just make sure that you bring up the fact that Liv IS good enough for you; perfect, in fact.
With Love,
Your Best Friend
Serena
Casey smiled after reading the note; though Serena and Alex were meddling in her love life, she knew it was only because they wanted her to be happy and wanted the best for her.
Casey headed downstairs to find Alex cooking and Serena sitting at the counter. She smiled at the conversation Serena and Alex were having as she entered the kitchen area, “Good morning Alex, Rena; how are you two this morning?”
Serena smiled at Alex, “Very good Case, how are you?”
“I’m ok, considering the woman I professed my love to last night left my side to hide from me in order to convince herself that she’s not good enough for me.” Casey rubbed her head as she sat down at the counter next to her friend, “What do I do Serena?”
“Oh, so you ask the ADA but not the profiler…I see how it is,” Alex smirked at Casey, “next time you need help I’ll remember this moment.”
“Ok then, oh wonderful profiler tell me how I should win my woman back,” Casey smiled at Alex as Alex winked at her.
“Tell her over and over again that SHE is WORTHY of YOU. She needs to hear that repeatedly, be prepared to argue with her and fight her for control over the relationship. Let her set the pace, but don’t back down from the fight.”
“And what if she won’t listen and won’t see the light?”
“Convince her that the relationship is what YOU WANT. Repeat that if you have to, but keep in mind that to her, love is something she just isn’t allowed to have.”
Casey nodded in understanding at Alex’s words, “Ok, but how do I get on the topic of you two?”
Serena smiled, “We’ll handle that, just trust us.”