(no subject)
on saturday, i attended julie's birthday celebration. we got there a little early and i ended up seated on the booth side near the center of the table. despite my physical position, i felt very outsider. the conversation focused on pennsic and SCA politics, which a am fringely familiar with, but not invested in. so that when people were vehemently expressing their opinions and concerns, i sat mutely because i had nothing vested in such matters. there was not even need for me to coo my support or disappointment to mirror their attitudes.
however, not being talked to was not uncomfortable. it only became so when the volume pitched upwards to the point of painful in my ears from different conversation strings in three directions. being privy to such talk it makes me prone to hermit and disengage more, rather than become more involved in the society.
which is rather funny cus we're gearing up for two weeks of pennsic. we'll be surrounded by and enmeshed the drama of other people's lives. i'm getting a little terrified of this "vacation". i'm thinking that bringing my car in case i need to run away for a day or two to go for a hike and be alone might be a wise thing to do.
i started making things to prettify the yurt. they're going ok, but i was very intimidated to start them for fear of fucking up. but so far i've got a flower on my camp table, two 6.5 foot banners to frame our door with an art nouveau style tree, one with a small rat to remember druid by, two 3 foot banners because i fucked up a piece of canvas and decided to divide and salvage it, and a couple of strips to turn into belt favors.
i forgot the plug to my sewing machine at ash's house, so i can't complete anything until this weekend. but that's not a very long wait to be able to finish a project and the "undoneness" won't kill me.
i folded an origami mobile for julie and kate expressed that she'd like one as well. if i can find grey and silver paper i might be able to fold her a paper kusudama death star with a little dish glued on. i would like to restock on paper soon. i'm missing a lot of the patterned and textured papers i used to have. i should ask dicea about that art store we went to last year where i grabbed a few packs. i think i want to have the materials to make several mobiles while i'm down there in order to employ my hands and still my mind.
kate and dicea gifted me a sack of japanese garb to play with for pennsic if i so choose to wear it. i adore the clash of patterns enough to forget that i'm wearing attention catching color. it feels like wearing origami, which couldn't make me happier. if only there were less pinks and purples.
i'm a conflicted at playing japanese as a white girl. but i think that if i wear them as clothing and not as a costume, i'll feel easier about it. that means i won't be putting on airs or adopting a stiffness when wearing them. they're just clothes and need to be treated as utilitarian. i can still wash dishes and lounge and be true to who i am when wearing them. if i can't accomplish that then i can't wear them.
i will play dress up with them more at home to try to familiarize myself with their fit and volume and my comfort levels before trying to wear them in public.
however, not being talked to was not uncomfortable. it only became so when the volume pitched upwards to the point of painful in my ears from different conversation strings in three directions. being privy to such talk it makes me prone to hermit and disengage more, rather than become more involved in the society.
which is rather funny cus we're gearing up for two weeks of pennsic. we'll be surrounded by and enmeshed the drama of other people's lives. i'm getting a little terrified of this "vacation". i'm thinking that bringing my car in case i need to run away for a day or two to go for a hike and be alone might be a wise thing to do.
i started making things to prettify the yurt. they're going ok, but i was very intimidated to start them for fear of fucking up. but so far i've got a flower on my camp table, two 6.5 foot banners to frame our door with an art nouveau style tree, one with a small rat to remember druid by, two 3 foot banners because i fucked up a piece of canvas and decided to divide and salvage it, and a couple of strips to turn into belt favors.
i forgot the plug to my sewing machine at ash's house, so i can't complete anything until this weekend. but that's not a very long wait to be able to finish a project and the "undoneness" won't kill me.
i folded an origami mobile for julie and kate expressed that she'd like one as well. if i can find grey and silver paper i might be able to fold her a paper kusudama death star with a little dish glued on. i would like to restock on paper soon. i'm missing a lot of the patterned and textured papers i used to have. i should ask dicea about that art store we went to last year where i grabbed a few packs. i think i want to have the materials to make several mobiles while i'm down there in order to employ my hands and still my mind.
kate and dicea gifted me a sack of japanese garb to play with for pennsic if i so choose to wear it. i adore the clash of patterns enough to forget that i'm wearing attention catching color. it feels like wearing origami, which couldn't make me happier. if only there were less pinks and purples.
i'm a conflicted at playing japanese as a white girl. but i think that if i wear them as clothing and not as a costume, i'll feel easier about it. that means i won't be putting on airs or adopting a stiffness when wearing them. they're just clothes and need to be treated as utilitarian. i can still wash dishes and lounge and be true to who i am when wearing them. if i can't accomplish that then i can't wear them.
i will play dress up with them more at home to try to familiarize myself with their fit and volume and my comfort levels before trying to wear them in public.