Longtime Sunshine 5/5 by Katrina (NC-17)
Longtime Sunshine
Chapter Five
Summary: After finding an old enemy, the Atlantis team is sent on a deadly mission.
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: John/Rodney, Lorne/Michael, hints of Radek/Carson
Words: ~18,700
Disclaimer: If I owned Atlantis, John and Rodney would have already had sex. But I don’t.
A/N: This takes place after the episode “Vengeance” but totally ignores “Sunday.” That episode and I are fighting. Except there is a very brief, blink and you’ll miss it reference.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Every day that went by, Rodney got stronger and stronger. And every day that went by, John sat next to his hospital bed. Carson had taken him out of the coma on the third day. However, Rodney did not wake up. Carson said it was a “heavy sleep,” but not a coma.
Two days later, he took out the ventilator. Elizabeth stood with bated breath, and John just watched from the back of the group. He did not want to be close if something went wrong, if Rodney suddenly coded.
Carson removed the tube, and nothing happened. The heart monitor did not change, nor did the EEG readouts. Rodney had not even twitched. That was when John really started to panic. For some reason, he thought as soon as the tube was out, Rodney would be shouting at them. But there was nothing.
Since returning from their ill-fated mission, Elizabeth had suspended John’s team from expeditions for the foreseeable future. But after barely a week, Ronon grew restless and started joining other teams when they went on missions. Mostly he stuck with Lorne’s team, who had recently accepted Michael as a member. Eventually, Teyla joined them as well, especially when Lorne needed extra backup.
It was almost two weeks after this began when Elizabeth came to John in the infirmary, where she found him asleep in a chair next to Rodney’s bed. Which in and of itself was not surprising. What was surprising was that Rodney lay awake in his bed, staring at John.
“Rodney?” she whispered into the faint light of the hospital. Rodney’s glassy eyes moved to her and a hint of a smile creased his face. Elizabeth could hardly stop the joyful laugh that escaped, loud enough to rouse John, who sputtered.
“Was goin’ on?” he asked, jumping out of his chair, hand automatically reaching for his sidearm.
“Rodney’s awake,” she answered amazement evident in her voice. She moved closer, slower, as though afraid moving too fast would frighten Rodney. John was much faster, standing over Rodney in the blink of an eye. Those blue eyes he had missed so much latched onto his. John did not even try to cover the smile that burst through.
“Hi,” Rodney said voice harsh from disuse.
“Hi,” John replied.
“Carson,” Elizabeth said into her comm., “please come to the infirmary, Rodney’s awake.”
Moments later, they could hear the excited running of several feet. Apparently Carson had told a few people on his way. He entered with Teyla, Ronon, Lorne, Michael, and Radek behind him. Elizabeth opened her mouth to question Carson on how he so quickly to that many people, but their smiling faces made her close it quickly.
Teyla came forward, hugging Rodney gracefully, with ease, trying not to cause him pain. Ronon, on the other hand, had to visibly restrain himself from grabbing the man and hauling him into a bone crushing hug. Instead, he slapped Rodney on the shoulder, which Rodney grabbed more in annoyance then actual paoin.
Zelenka went in for a hug as well. His eyes were alight with happiness and he wore a smile ear to ear. He kept saying things to Rodney in Czech. Rodney could only tell by the way they sounded to mean they were all good.
“Good to have you back, McKay,” Lorne said, his arm around Michael’s shoulders. He rolled his eyes and whispered, “Never thought I’d say that.”
“Hey,” Rodney tried to say it indignantly, but it came out rather flat and sent him on a small coughing fit. Carson jumped forward, giving him a glass of water with a straw protruding out. Radek stood gleefully behind Carson, hugging him from behind in his happiness.
“How are you feeling, Rodney?” Carson asked as Rodney sipped the water through the straw. Rodney took a long draught before letting the straw fall away from his parched lips.
“Like I died, how do you think?” Rodney retorted. Everyone let out anxious laughs, though Ronon merely smiled.
“He’s back,” Ronon stated to no one in particular. He smiled down at Rodney, who gave a weak smile back.
John just stood, staring at Rodney, as though if he were to blink Rodney would disappear. And all Rodney did was stare right back. Elizabeth, who had previously been distracted by the newly revived Rodney McKay, decided it was a good idea to leave the pair alone.
“Michael,” she said, turning her attention to the man, “would you care to join me in my office? We need to evaluate your current assignment.”
She knew full well that this would garner the attention of more than just the former Wraith. As she turned to leave, Michael following behind her, he turned and asked if Lorne was coming as well. The Major smiled and led Michael out by the small of his back. And of course, Ronon followed as well, wanting to get in his opinion, which led to Teyla having to join so as to keep Ronon in line.
Elizabeth, nearly out the door, gave Carson a significant look, to which the doctor nodded in agreement. He grabbed Radek’s hand gently, whispered into his ear and the two were gone even before Teyla had left the room. John and Rodney only gave them a mere glance as they left.
When John was sure they had gone he asked, “How are you really?”
“I died,” Rodney said blankly, staring up at the ceiling. “But it was…”
Rodney trailed off for a moment, trying to grasp the exact words. He looked back at John and continued, “warm. It was warm and bright, like the sun. At first, anyway, but then it was cold and dark.”
“I’m sorry, Rodney,” John frowned, he could see the fear and turmoil in Rodney’s eyes and it pained him. He felt as though he had failed, allowed Rodney to fall into the hands of the enemies.
“No,” Rodney protested, shifting to sit up slightly, though quickly lay back down with a pained expression. “Look, don’t be sorry. If you would shut up for five seconds I would have told you that everything was cold and dark, except for you.”
“Me?” John asked, furrowing his brow in confusion.
“You were there with me, just there. You told me to come back,” Rodney said. He turned his eyes away from John and concentrated on his sheet covers. John barely heard him whisper, “So I did.”
“Rodney, I’m really, really sorry. You’re a member of my team and I’m responsible for your well being,” John apologized. “You should be able to trust me.”
“I do trust you,” Rodney said in his usual argumentative voice. “Always have, always will.”
John felt cool fingers sliding along his own. He looked down to see Rodney’s fingers intertwine with his. They felt dry and cold at first, but as soon as they made contact, both became warm. John ran his thumb over Rodney’s palm, feeling the bump of a small scar near his life line.
Rodney began to drift back to sleep, feeling the soothing circles John made against his skin. He vaguely heard a chair scrap across the floor, though the hand never strayed from his own.
“John?”
“Yeah, Rodney?”
“You gonna stay?”
“Yep, I’ll be right here.”
“John?”
“Yeah, Rodney?”
“I love you.”
John smiled and silence blanketed the room. He kissed the scar on Rodney’s hand and looked up to see that Rodney’s eyes were closed and his breathing was shallow and steady.
“Rodney?”
“Yeah, John?”
“I love you, too.”
--
Carson, albeit reluctantly, released Rodney from the infirmary two weeks later. Rodney, on the other hand, was so excited he tried to hobble out, but could not easily operate crutches with a broken arm. Instead, he left frowning slightly and his arm in a new sling, being pushed in a wheelchair by John.
John took him to the mess first, under the guise of having lunch, but surprised him with a welcome back party. John took him up a newly installed ramp, which made Rodney frown even deeper.
“You built me a ramp,” Rodney said to the group, who stood smiling under the giant “Welcome back, Rodney” sign. They frowned in unison.
“Rodney,” John said, gritting his teeth. Rodney looked at him over his should, John raised an eyebrow.
“I mean,” Rodney said, looking back to the group, “how nice of you to build me a ramp.”
The smiles slowly returned. Elizabeth came forward and hugged Rodney, everyone lining up behind her. Carson and Radek actually got Rodney a gift, a five pound bag of coffee. Michael shook his hand and presented him with a vase carved out of wood from the mainland.
“It’s been a slow two weeks,” Michael explained. “And they won’t let me go to Earth to buy you something.”
“It’s very nice,” Rodney smiled, he figured he owed as much to Michael. “Thanks.”
They set several tables together and put Rodney in the middle, in between John and Elizabeth. Ronon and Teyla sat next to one another, and for once Ronon did not keep his eyes glued in suspicion on Michael all night. Teyla had already warned him that if he did then they would never find his body.
Michael seemed rather pleased with this and actually found he was able to relax. He and Lorne sat near the end of the table and discussed varying topics, mostly landing on Harry Potter, who Michael had never heard of.
“Who is this Harry Potter of which you speak?” Teyla asked, joining them while Ronon busied himself with talking to some of the Marines.
Radek, Carson and Rodney argued over the moral implication of bringing pets to Atlantis. Carson desperately wanted to bring his turtles and Rodney wanted to bring his cat. So far, they both had no-gos because in the case of emergency pets would have to be left behind and the government apparently saw that as cruelty to animals.
After a couple hours, Elizabeth left to check the status of command center and returned with several bottles of wine. John gave out a loud hoot of excitement upon seeing her. Everyone else, however, was more than a little surprised that their leader had her own secret stash of liquor. She poured glasses for everyone and they toasted to good health.
The word spread quickly through Atlantis that there was alcohol, which was prohibited, at the party. Several people stopped by for a drink, including the technician, Chuck, who ended the night passed out underneath the table. Most people would show up, drink, and then leave with another person to have “a talk.”
After about midnight the crowd started to disperse, people going to bed, sometimes not alone, and others were going to work on the night shift. Radek left to go back to the lab and Carson claimed to be heading back to the hospital, but Elizabeth gave a knowing smile and John and Rodney shared a glance.
Ronon, on his third bottle of wine alone, was literally hanging off of Teyla and trying to throw plastic knives at Michael, who did not notice the knives bouncing off his back. Finally, she managed to help him drunkenly stagger out of the mess. Lorne was also drunk, but was probably the soberest person there. He had been standing with an arm around Michael’s waist most of the night.
Michael was mildly tipsy on just half a bottle of wine, having never drank any kind of alcohol before. By the time most people had left and Chuck was just deciding that beneath the table seemed like an awfully good place to lie down, Michael had his head resting on Lorne’s shoulder. Lorne was telling Michael about growing up on Earth and watching Sesame Street and Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood.
“’M tired,” Michael whispered. He rested his chin on Lorne’s shoulder and looked at him with drowsy eyes. Before Lorne could stop himself, he leaned forward and placed a kiss on Michael’s nose. Lorne turned slightly red and looked away from Michael, who feathered a kiss just below Lorne’s ear.
“Come on,” Lorne said, taking Michael by the hand and leading him out of the mess, waving their goodbye. Not long after, Elizabeth, more than a little buzzed herself, gave Rodney and John a hug goodbye and left with a very handsome man with a beard. By the time she had gone, Rodney and John were the only two left, awake anyway. They could hear the soft snores of Chuck underneath the table. John looked under to see the passed out technician lying on his side cuddling a chair.
“Have fun?” John asked Rodney, bringing his head above the table, smiling. Rodney nodded, taking a drink of red wine.
“Surprisingly, yes, I did. You know, I never thought I would be so happy to see such a group of intellectually uninspired nitwits in my life,” Rodney remarked. John gave him a dangerous look and Rodney added thoughtfully, “I think I would have missed them.”
“And despite your continuous name calling, I think they would have missed you, too,” John replied. “Tired?”
“No,” Rodney said. A devilish smirk rose up on his face. Before John could suggest anything, Rodney moved forward and unceremoniously captured his lips in a soft kiss. He separated only an inch and said, “But I do want to go to bed.”
“That’s the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard,” John laughed. Rodney looked highly affronted and frowned at John.
“Fine,” Rodney groaned, crossing his arm carefully over the broken one and turning in his seat away from John.
“Oh, come on, Rodney, it was,” John replied. He ran a hand down the back of Rodney’s head, through his hair and let it rest near the base of his neck. He kissed the pulse point on Rodney’s neck and felt some of the anger wash away from Rodney.
“I’m so sorry I can’t be as smooth as you,” Rodney answered, turning back to look at John, “Kirk.”
“Hey!” John argued, but after seeing the smile once again emerge on Rodney’s still lightly bruised face, he decided to let it go. He stood and began to push the wheelchair toward the ramp.
“This is much less romantic than I was hoping for,” Rodney commented as he was wheeled out of the mess.
“What do you want, me to carry you?” John asked, leaning down to say it in Rodney’s ear.
“No!” Rodney shouted louder than he had meant to. “Just help me stand up.”
John opened his mouth, but the look Rodney gave him quickly made him shut it. He put the brakes on the wheelchair and took one of Rodney’s hands in his. His free hand went around Rodney’s waist so he could simultaneously push and pull Rodney to his feet.
“Thanks,” Rodney whispered as he stood. He wound his arm around the back of John’s neck and moved closer to John. He could smell the other man, a musk that was both different and familiar at the same time. John too took in a deep breath, which came out as a sigh.
“You really, really need to stop almost dying like that,” John whispered. He moved his arms to encircle Rodney and squeezed him close. “I would really appreciate it if you didn’t do it again.”
His voice sounded so pained it made Rodney feel a wave of guilt flood him. John buried his face in Rodney’s neck and planted a kiss where shoulder blade met neck. He slowly lifted his head and took Rodney’s free hand in his.
--
Rodney opened the door to his room with his mind. He allowed himself a mini-celebration in his brain since it had been so long since he had been to his own room. John followed behind, hands still clasped together. He kept a weary eye on Rodney, who stumbled past the threshold.
The room was just the way Rodney had left it before the ill-fated mission. The bed was neatly made and the cloths he had worn the day before the mission lay in a heap on the floor. John took notice of the egocentric wall space filled with Rodney’s diplomas as well as pictures of Rodney.
He frowned and knitted his eyebrows, but looked down to a nearby table and saw a picture of the entire Atlantis expedition from the last year’s Christmas party. Next to which was a picture of Rodney and Carson in the field. Beside that was a picture of Ronon, Teyla, John, and Rodney arms around each other, broad smiles on their faces.
“My favorite picture,” Rodney remarked, tracing where John was staring. John looked back to him and smiled.
“Very sentimental of you, Rodney,” John replied. His usual bite was evident and the smile he gave was playful.
Rodney decided the best course of action was to take the smirk right off of John’s face. He moved in close, his lips barely skimming over John’s. He ran his hand down the fabric of John’s shirt, just able to feel the warm flesh underneath. John tried to bring his lips to Rodney’s, but every time he did, Rodney moved away.
As John gave a protesting groan, Rodney traced his hand underneath the shirt it had just gone over. The touch was light, just the very tips of the fingers coasting along the skin. Goosebumps erupted over John’s skin, all from the slightest contact with Rodney. He let out a breath and brought himself forward again, this time Rodney did not lean away.
Their lips pressed against one another slow at first. John grasped Rodney’s face between his hands, palm against cheek, stubble rubbing against tender skin. He pulled Rodney closer as he licked at the other man’s bottom lip. Rodney opened his mouth and pushed his tongue past John’s teeth.
Rodney worked his hand up John’s back until it rested between his shoulder blades. He curled his hand around the base of Rodney’s neck and let the other stay on his cheek, a thumb pacing back and forth. Both pushed against one another, but in the end John won out when Rodney’s legs hit the edge of the bed. John untangled himself from Rodney.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” John asked. He placed a careful hand on the cast surrounding his broken arm. Rodney gently lifted the sling from around his neck and let it fall to the floor. He gave John a rather chaste kiss before using his good hand to start pulling his shirt off.
“Although I could use a little help here,” Rodney said softer than John had ever heard him. John smiled and helped to lift the hem up, popping it off Rodney’s head and helping to get his arms free.
Rodney stood half naked, self-consciously looking away from John’s stare. His sudden bought of insecurity was only heightened when John lifted his own shirt off with ease. The lean figure held surprisingly strong muscles, though Rodney supposed it must for John to be in the service. Rodney looked down to his own shapelier physique.
“Oh, stop it!” John said, tapping Rodney on the shoulder. “You look fine.”
A blush rose on Rodney’s cheeks when he saw that John really did mean it. Rodney gave John the brilliant smile he reserved only for occasions when they had nearly escaped death and it was all because of him. John loved that smile.
This time the kiss was deep and fogged everything in John’s mind. John ran his hands over Rodney’s chest, around his sides and spread across his back. A small giggle tried to escape Rodney, only to be caught in John’s kiss. Rodney was shaking, John could feel it. He was about to tell Rodney that they did not have to do anything when he felt a fumbling hand at his belt.
Rodney barely managed to get the belt off by himself, but John found it surprisingly erotic when he did. Rodney broke off the kiss and looked at John, his eyes unsure and searching. It sent a near painful burst through John’s chest. He kissed Rodney, a kiss that tried to say everything he would never be able to.
The sudden memory of being in the darkness, alone, came to him. It was quickly followed by how much better he had felt when John had been there, even if it had not really been him. He kissed John back, matching the intensity. John made quick work of unbuckling Rodney and taking his pants off, flinging them into the recesses of the room.
Rodney could only feel John; he did not want to feel anything else. This was what he wanted, what he had lived for. All he needed for the rest of his life was to be with John. He could care less what else happened, as long as it happened with John. He pushed off the clothing that John still wore, wanting to rid himself of everything that came between him and John; cloths, air, molecules.
John was naked, standing so close to Rodney that neither of them could tell who was who anymore. Rodney could feel the hard press of John against his leg. He moaned something that might have been words, even he was not entirely sure. John’s lips separated from his and Rodney gave a barely audible sigh.
Before Rodney could ask what he was doing, John fell to his knees, his breath sending puffs of heat across Rodney’s skin. His fingers hooked on the elastic of the smiley face boxers Rodney was wearing. John took a moment to look up into the blue pools that were now darkened with lust. Keeping his eyes glued to Rodney, he slowly brought the boxers down and throwing them with the rest of their cloths.
Even though Rodney wanted to keep looking at John, he could not but help to close his eyes when John took his dick into his mouth. Rodney had to keep his brain under control as he felt John’s tongue make circles around him. John took Rodney deep into his throat, close to where his gag reflex would stop any notion of romance.
John sucked as hard as he could and felt Rodney shudder. He kept the suction as he drew back, making Rodney make noises that John had never in his life heard. He let the dick fall from his mouth, which made Rodney whimper in argument. John licked the tip and wrapped the rest in his fist. He ran his tongue over and over again across the tip and along the sides whenever his fist moved down the shaft.
“You are so irritatingly slow,” Rodney said, though it came out in gulps of breath. Taking that as an invitation, John took all of Rodney into his mouth, in and out in a fast pace. Rodney grabbed the back of John’s head, burying his fingers in the messy hair. The faster John went, to more tense Rodney became, but just as he began to feel a tingle and a pit of heat growing in his stomach, John stopped.
“Lay down,” John said, suddenly standing up. Rodney shot him a look that would set houses on fire. John, however, was not paying attention. Instead he was rushing into Rodney’s bathroom. Faintly Rodney could hear him going through the medicine cabinet.
“What are you doing?” Rodney asked him, lying on the bed, nearly out of breath. John returned a triumphant look on his face. In his hand he held a small tube of what Rodney could guess was some kind of lubricant. John stared for a moment down at Rodney and smiled.
John lowered himself on top of Rodney slowly, hovering above him for a moment, propped by his arms like he was in the midst of doing a pushup. Rodney grabbed him around the waist with his good arm and pulled him down, giving out a gasp and a small sigh of pain when John landed on the less than perfect arm.
“Sorry, you okay?” John asked, concern evident in his voice. Rodney let out small laugh, but answered the question by giving John a long, slow, deep kiss. While Rodney was otherwise occupied, John let his hand drift down to open Rodney’s legs wider so he could settle between them with less difficulty.
Near by Rodney heard the top of the tube pop open. He felt an array of butterflies in his stomach. At first he thought he would be panicked, like he was the first time he had sex with a woman, but oddly enough he was not. He trusted John far too much to be scared, although he was nervous.
John locked eyes with him, the hazel looking browner in the low light. He received a reassuring smile from John just as he felt a finger push its way into him. His breath hitched and John stopped, worry evident in his eyes. Rodney kissed him gently, which turned into a rather sloppy, hungry kiss and two more fingers joined the first.
“John,” Rodney breathed. Every cell in John’s body shook and the goose flesh returned. John found he was nearly ready to come just by hearing Rodney say his name in such a way.
Quickly he pulled out the fingers, but had to steady himself for fear of hurting an already exasperated Rodney. He added an extra coat over his own dick before positioning it over Rodney’s opening. Once more, he looked down into Rodney’s face, flushed and sweaty.
“Oh, Jesus, Rodney,” John whispered, lowering his head next to Rodney’s and biting on his shoulder. John wanted to mark him, so that everyone knew without being told that one Dr. Rodney McKay belonged solely to him.
John slowly pushed into Rodney, hearing him grunt as he did so. Rodney turned so that his mouth was right next to John’s ear. As John pushed even more into Rodney, pulling him open, he could hear the heavy panting and soft moans the other man made. Finally, John filled Rodney completely.
“John,” Rodney managed to say. Again, John shuddered. God, he loved to hear Rodney say his name. John began to move, bringing himself out of Rodney and pushing back in slowly. With no encouragement needed, Rodney pulled John’s lips to his own harshly.
As the tempo of the kiss began to grow in intensity, so did John’s movement. He would draw himself all the way out only to plunge fully back in, just to hear the small whimper Rodney would make against his lips. But as he grew closer to his climax he began to make shallower, sharper strokes.
“Oh, shit,” Rodney yelled as one such movement hit his prostate. John could not help but smile. As John made the same move again, Rodney actually arched his back. However, Rodney decided it was time to surprise John. He grabbed John’s hand and wrapped it around his own erection.
Before John could even react, Rodney’s mouth was over his again, tongue making intricate circles over teeth and gums. Taking the initiative, John began to pump the hand around Rodney as fast as he could, but in time with his own motions. John deliberately made everyone of his jabs hit Rodney’s prostate and every time he did it, Rodney would whisper John’s name or give a guttural moan.
Rodney felt as though he could barely hang on, but did not want to let go. He never wanted John to stop, but the quick pushes into him, hitting him right where it sent bolts of electricity all over his body, were quickly ebbing away what little restraint Rodney had. Finally, with a twist of John’s wrist and several deep pushes into him and Rodney could see a burst of light behind his eyes.
It was like the sun coming out from behind a cloud, but he was watching it from behind his eyelids, so it was muted. He felt warm liquid pour out of him and onto John’s hand and he heard the amazing way John was saying his name and knew he was close too. John kept his sticky hand circled around Rodney’s softening dick and let go of all his careful thrusts.
John plowed into Rodney, as deep and hard as he could. He let out loud grunts and yelled Rodney’s name so loud Rodney was sure people on Earth could hear it. Rodney could feel John come inside him, a warm rush that alone made him want to orgasm all over again.
Letting out several harsh breaths, John slumped on top of Rodney. They were both sticky and covered in sweat and John was horribly heavy, but he desperately did not want John to move off him, or out of him. The only thing he wanted was to stay like that forever, even if it meant being sweaty, sticky, and having a heavy Air Force Colonel on him.
--
John woke with a start. He was covered in sweat and the blankets were wrapped around his legs. A pale light was shining through the window. He rubbed his face with a hand and looked around the room, which for a moment he did not recognize. That was until flashes of the night before made him remember.
“Rodney?” John asked his voice scratchy and weighed down as voices often are early in the morning. He looked around the room and found Rodney sitting behind his desk in his boxers, typing on his laptop with one hand, the other being up in a sling once again.
“Yes, pumpkin?” Rodney answered, trying to keep a smirk off his face. He hit save on his computer and turned to look at John.
“Pumpkin? Oh, I don’t think so,” John answered.
“Well, we should really have pet names,” Rodney replied, giving a reasonable smile. “Do you like “baby” better?”
“No pet names, Meredith,” John answered, both warningly and with amusement. At the statement of his real first name, Rodney’s smile faded and he gave John a nasty look. John, however, started smirking even bigger than Rodney had.
Seeing that Rodney was less than pleased at the usage, John got out of bed, untangling himself from the covers and walked over to Rodney. Once he got to his desired destination, John knelt in front of Rodney and rubbed a hand up and down his thigh, stopping just above the ankle that was still wrapped in a small cast.
“You know you can’t stay mad at me forever,” John smiled up to him. “You love me.”
“Ha! That doesn’t mean I can’t still be mad at you,” Rodney countered.
“Yes, but even if you are, you’ll still love me,” John replied. He kissed Rodney on the lips, a chaste kiss considering. John stayed inches away from Rodney’s mouth and whispered, “I showed you.”
“Shut up,” Rodney said back, capturing John’s lips in another, deeper kiss. John helped Rodney off of the chair and brought him close. At that moment John Sheppard knew he would never want to be with anyone else. That he and, of all people, Rodney McKay would be with each other until the sun burned out. And probably even after that.
The End
Chapter Five
Summary: After finding an old enemy, the Atlantis team is sent on a deadly mission.
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: John/Rodney, Lorne/Michael, hints of Radek/Carson
Words: ~18,700
Disclaimer: If I owned Atlantis, John and Rodney would have already had sex. But I don’t.
A/N: This takes place after the episode “Vengeance” but totally ignores “Sunday.” That episode and I are fighting. Except there is a very brief, blink and you’ll miss it reference.
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Every day that went by, Rodney got stronger and stronger. And every day that went by, John sat next to his hospital bed. Carson had taken him out of the coma on the third day. However, Rodney did not wake up. Carson said it was a “heavy sleep,” but not a coma.
Two days later, he took out the ventilator. Elizabeth stood with bated breath, and John just watched from the back of the group. He did not want to be close if something went wrong, if Rodney suddenly coded.
Carson removed the tube, and nothing happened. The heart monitor did not change, nor did the EEG readouts. Rodney had not even twitched. That was when John really started to panic. For some reason, he thought as soon as the tube was out, Rodney would be shouting at them. But there was nothing.
Since returning from their ill-fated mission, Elizabeth had suspended John’s team from expeditions for the foreseeable future. But after barely a week, Ronon grew restless and started joining other teams when they went on missions. Mostly he stuck with Lorne’s team, who had recently accepted Michael as a member. Eventually, Teyla joined them as well, especially when Lorne needed extra backup.
It was almost two weeks after this began when Elizabeth came to John in the infirmary, where she found him asleep in a chair next to Rodney’s bed. Which in and of itself was not surprising. What was surprising was that Rodney lay awake in his bed, staring at John.
“Rodney?” she whispered into the faint light of the hospital. Rodney’s glassy eyes moved to her and a hint of a smile creased his face. Elizabeth could hardly stop the joyful laugh that escaped, loud enough to rouse John, who sputtered.
“Was goin’ on?” he asked, jumping out of his chair, hand automatically reaching for his sidearm.
“Rodney’s awake,” she answered amazement evident in her voice. She moved closer, slower, as though afraid moving too fast would frighten Rodney. John was much faster, standing over Rodney in the blink of an eye. Those blue eyes he had missed so much latched onto his. John did not even try to cover the smile that burst through.
“Hi,” Rodney said voice harsh from disuse.
“Hi,” John replied.
“Carson,” Elizabeth said into her comm., “please come to the infirmary, Rodney’s awake.”
Moments later, they could hear the excited running of several feet. Apparently Carson had told a few people on his way. He entered with Teyla, Ronon, Lorne, Michael, and Radek behind him. Elizabeth opened her mouth to question Carson on how he so quickly to that many people, but their smiling faces made her close it quickly.
Teyla came forward, hugging Rodney gracefully, with ease, trying not to cause him pain. Ronon, on the other hand, had to visibly restrain himself from grabbing the man and hauling him into a bone crushing hug. Instead, he slapped Rodney on the shoulder, which Rodney grabbed more in annoyance then actual paoin.
Zelenka went in for a hug as well. His eyes were alight with happiness and he wore a smile ear to ear. He kept saying things to Rodney in Czech. Rodney could only tell by the way they sounded to mean they were all good.
“Good to have you back, McKay,” Lorne said, his arm around Michael’s shoulders. He rolled his eyes and whispered, “Never thought I’d say that.”
“Hey,” Rodney tried to say it indignantly, but it came out rather flat and sent him on a small coughing fit. Carson jumped forward, giving him a glass of water with a straw protruding out. Radek stood gleefully behind Carson, hugging him from behind in his happiness.
“How are you feeling, Rodney?” Carson asked as Rodney sipped the water through the straw. Rodney took a long draught before letting the straw fall away from his parched lips.
“Like I died, how do you think?” Rodney retorted. Everyone let out anxious laughs, though Ronon merely smiled.
“He’s back,” Ronon stated to no one in particular. He smiled down at Rodney, who gave a weak smile back.
John just stood, staring at Rodney, as though if he were to blink Rodney would disappear. And all Rodney did was stare right back. Elizabeth, who had previously been distracted by the newly revived Rodney McKay, decided it was a good idea to leave the pair alone.
“Michael,” she said, turning her attention to the man, “would you care to join me in my office? We need to evaluate your current assignment.”
She knew full well that this would garner the attention of more than just the former Wraith. As she turned to leave, Michael following behind her, he turned and asked if Lorne was coming as well. The Major smiled and led Michael out by the small of his back. And of course, Ronon followed as well, wanting to get in his opinion, which led to Teyla having to join so as to keep Ronon in line.
Elizabeth, nearly out the door, gave Carson a significant look, to which the doctor nodded in agreement. He grabbed Radek’s hand gently, whispered into his ear and the two were gone even before Teyla had left the room. John and Rodney only gave them a mere glance as they left.
When John was sure they had gone he asked, “How are you really?”
“I died,” Rodney said blankly, staring up at the ceiling. “But it was…”
Rodney trailed off for a moment, trying to grasp the exact words. He looked back at John and continued, “warm. It was warm and bright, like the sun. At first, anyway, but then it was cold and dark.”
“I’m sorry, Rodney,” John frowned, he could see the fear and turmoil in Rodney’s eyes and it pained him. He felt as though he had failed, allowed Rodney to fall into the hands of the enemies.
“No,” Rodney protested, shifting to sit up slightly, though quickly lay back down with a pained expression. “Look, don’t be sorry. If you would shut up for five seconds I would have told you that everything was cold and dark, except for you.”
“Me?” John asked, furrowing his brow in confusion.
“You were there with me, just there. You told me to come back,” Rodney said. He turned his eyes away from John and concentrated on his sheet covers. John barely heard him whisper, “So I did.”
“Rodney, I’m really, really sorry. You’re a member of my team and I’m responsible for your well being,” John apologized. “You should be able to trust me.”
“I do trust you,” Rodney said in his usual argumentative voice. “Always have, always will.”
John felt cool fingers sliding along his own. He looked down to see Rodney’s fingers intertwine with his. They felt dry and cold at first, but as soon as they made contact, both became warm. John ran his thumb over Rodney’s palm, feeling the bump of a small scar near his life line.
Rodney began to drift back to sleep, feeling the soothing circles John made against his skin. He vaguely heard a chair scrap across the floor, though the hand never strayed from his own.
“John?”
“Yeah, Rodney?”
“You gonna stay?”
“Yep, I’ll be right here.”
“John?”
“Yeah, Rodney?”
“I love you.”
John smiled and silence blanketed the room. He kissed the scar on Rodney’s hand and looked up to see that Rodney’s eyes were closed and his breathing was shallow and steady.
“Rodney?”
“Yeah, John?”
“I love you, too.”
--
Carson, albeit reluctantly, released Rodney from the infirmary two weeks later. Rodney, on the other hand, was so excited he tried to hobble out, but could not easily operate crutches with a broken arm. Instead, he left frowning slightly and his arm in a new sling, being pushed in a wheelchair by John.
John took him to the mess first, under the guise of having lunch, but surprised him with a welcome back party. John took him up a newly installed ramp, which made Rodney frown even deeper.
“You built me a ramp,” Rodney said to the group, who stood smiling under the giant “Welcome back, Rodney” sign. They frowned in unison.
“Rodney,” John said, gritting his teeth. Rodney looked at him over his should, John raised an eyebrow.
“I mean,” Rodney said, looking back to the group, “how nice of you to build me a ramp.”
The smiles slowly returned. Elizabeth came forward and hugged Rodney, everyone lining up behind her. Carson and Radek actually got Rodney a gift, a five pound bag of coffee. Michael shook his hand and presented him with a vase carved out of wood from the mainland.
“It’s been a slow two weeks,” Michael explained. “And they won’t let me go to Earth to buy you something.”
“It’s very nice,” Rodney smiled, he figured he owed as much to Michael. “Thanks.”
They set several tables together and put Rodney in the middle, in between John and Elizabeth. Ronon and Teyla sat next to one another, and for once Ronon did not keep his eyes glued in suspicion on Michael all night. Teyla had already warned him that if he did then they would never find his body.
Michael seemed rather pleased with this and actually found he was able to relax. He and Lorne sat near the end of the table and discussed varying topics, mostly landing on Harry Potter, who Michael had never heard of.
“Who is this Harry Potter of which you speak?” Teyla asked, joining them while Ronon busied himself with talking to some of the Marines.
Radek, Carson and Rodney argued over the moral implication of bringing pets to Atlantis. Carson desperately wanted to bring his turtles and Rodney wanted to bring his cat. So far, they both had no-gos because in the case of emergency pets would have to be left behind and the government apparently saw that as cruelty to animals.
After a couple hours, Elizabeth left to check the status of command center and returned with several bottles of wine. John gave out a loud hoot of excitement upon seeing her. Everyone else, however, was more than a little surprised that their leader had her own secret stash of liquor. She poured glasses for everyone and they toasted to good health.
The word spread quickly through Atlantis that there was alcohol, which was prohibited, at the party. Several people stopped by for a drink, including the technician, Chuck, who ended the night passed out underneath the table. Most people would show up, drink, and then leave with another person to have “a talk.”
After about midnight the crowd started to disperse, people going to bed, sometimes not alone, and others were going to work on the night shift. Radek left to go back to the lab and Carson claimed to be heading back to the hospital, but Elizabeth gave a knowing smile and John and Rodney shared a glance.
Ronon, on his third bottle of wine alone, was literally hanging off of Teyla and trying to throw plastic knives at Michael, who did not notice the knives bouncing off his back. Finally, she managed to help him drunkenly stagger out of the mess. Lorne was also drunk, but was probably the soberest person there. He had been standing with an arm around Michael’s waist most of the night.
Michael was mildly tipsy on just half a bottle of wine, having never drank any kind of alcohol before. By the time most people had left and Chuck was just deciding that beneath the table seemed like an awfully good place to lie down, Michael had his head resting on Lorne’s shoulder. Lorne was telling Michael about growing up on Earth and watching Sesame Street and Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood.
“’M tired,” Michael whispered. He rested his chin on Lorne’s shoulder and looked at him with drowsy eyes. Before Lorne could stop himself, he leaned forward and placed a kiss on Michael’s nose. Lorne turned slightly red and looked away from Michael, who feathered a kiss just below Lorne’s ear.
“Come on,” Lorne said, taking Michael by the hand and leading him out of the mess, waving their goodbye. Not long after, Elizabeth, more than a little buzzed herself, gave Rodney and John a hug goodbye and left with a very handsome man with a beard. By the time she had gone, Rodney and John were the only two left, awake anyway. They could hear the soft snores of Chuck underneath the table. John looked under to see the passed out technician lying on his side cuddling a chair.
“Have fun?” John asked Rodney, bringing his head above the table, smiling. Rodney nodded, taking a drink of red wine.
“Surprisingly, yes, I did. You know, I never thought I would be so happy to see such a group of intellectually uninspired nitwits in my life,” Rodney remarked. John gave him a dangerous look and Rodney added thoughtfully, “I think I would have missed them.”
“And despite your continuous name calling, I think they would have missed you, too,” John replied. “Tired?”
“No,” Rodney said. A devilish smirk rose up on his face. Before John could suggest anything, Rodney moved forward and unceremoniously captured his lips in a soft kiss. He separated only an inch and said, “But I do want to go to bed.”
“That’s the cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard,” John laughed. Rodney looked highly affronted and frowned at John.
“Fine,” Rodney groaned, crossing his arm carefully over the broken one and turning in his seat away from John.
“Oh, come on, Rodney, it was,” John replied. He ran a hand down the back of Rodney’s head, through his hair and let it rest near the base of his neck. He kissed the pulse point on Rodney’s neck and felt some of the anger wash away from Rodney.
“I’m so sorry I can’t be as smooth as you,” Rodney answered, turning back to look at John, “Kirk.”
“Hey!” John argued, but after seeing the smile once again emerge on Rodney’s still lightly bruised face, he decided to let it go. He stood and began to push the wheelchair toward the ramp.
“This is much less romantic than I was hoping for,” Rodney commented as he was wheeled out of the mess.
“What do you want, me to carry you?” John asked, leaning down to say it in Rodney’s ear.
“No!” Rodney shouted louder than he had meant to. “Just help me stand up.”
John opened his mouth, but the look Rodney gave him quickly made him shut it. He put the brakes on the wheelchair and took one of Rodney’s hands in his. His free hand went around Rodney’s waist so he could simultaneously push and pull Rodney to his feet.
“Thanks,” Rodney whispered as he stood. He wound his arm around the back of John’s neck and moved closer to John. He could smell the other man, a musk that was both different and familiar at the same time. John too took in a deep breath, which came out as a sigh.
“You really, really need to stop almost dying like that,” John whispered. He moved his arms to encircle Rodney and squeezed him close. “I would really appreciate it if you didn’t do it again.”
His voice sounded so pained it made Rodney feel a wave of guilt flood him. John buried his face in Rodney’s neck and planted a kiss where shoulder blade met neck. He slowly lifted his head and took Rodney’s free hand in his.
--
Rodney opened the door to his room with his mind. He allowed himself a mini-celebration in his brain since it had been so long since he had been to his own room. John followed behind, hands still clasped together. He kept a weary eye on Rodney, who stumbled past the threshold.
The room was just the way Rodney had left it before the ill-fated mission. The bed was neatly made and the cloths he had worn the day before the mission lay in a heap on the floor. John took notice of the egocentric wall space filled with Rodney’s diplomas as well as pictures of Rodney.
He frowned and knitted his eyebrows, but looked down to a nearby table and saw a picture of the entire Atlantis expedition from the last year’s Christmas party. Next to which was a picture of Rodney and Carson in the field. Beside that was a picture of Ronon, Teyla, John, and Rodney arms around each other, broad smiles on their faces.
“My favorite picture,” Rodney remarked, tracing where John was staring. John looked back to him and smiled.
“Very sentimental of you, Rodney,” John replied. His usual bite was evident and the smile he gave was playful.
Rodney decided the best course of action was to take the smirk right off of John’s face. He moved in close, his lips barely skimming over John’s. He ran his hand down the fabric of John’s shirt, just able to feel the warm flesh underneath. John tried to bring his lips to Rodney’s, but every time he did, Rodney moved away.
As John gave a protesting groan, Rodney traced his hand underneath the shirt it had just gone over. The touch was light, just the very tips of the fingers coasting along the skin. Goosebumps erupted over John’s skin, all from the slightest contact with Rodney. He let out a breath and brought himself forward again, this time Rodney did not lean away.
Their lips pressed against one another slow at first. John grasped Rodney’s face between his hands, palm against cheek, stubble rubbing against tender skin. He pulled Rodney closer as he licked at the other man’s bottom lip. Rodney opened his mouth and pushed his tongue past John’s teeth.
Rodney worked his hand up John’s back until it rested between his shoulder blades. He curled his hand around the base of Rodney’s neck and let the other stay on his cheek, a thumb pacing back and forth. Both pushed against one another, but in the end John won out when Rodney’s legs hit the edge of the bed. John untangled himself from Rodney.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” John asked. He placed a careful hand on the cast surrounding his broken arm. Rodney gently lifted the sling from around his neck and let it fall to the floor. He gave John a rather chaste kiss before using his good hand to start pulling his shirt off.
“Although I could use a little help here,” Rodney said softer than John had ever heard him. John smiled and helped to lift the hem up, popping it off Rodney’s head and helping to get his arms free.
Rodney stood half naked, self-consciously looking away from John’s stare. His sudden bought of insecurity was only heightened when John lifted his own shirt off with ease. The lean figure held surprisingly strong muscles, though Rodney supposed it must for John to be in the service. Rodney looked down to his own shapelier physique.
“Oh, stop it!” John said, tapping Rodney on the shoulder. “You look fine.”
A blush rose on Rodney’s cheeks when he saw that John really did mean it. Rodney gave John the brilliant smile he reserved only for occasions when they had nearly escaped death and it was all because of him. John loved that smile.
This time the kiss was deep and fogged everything in John’s mind. John ran his hands over Rodney’s chest, around his sides and spread across his back. A small giggle tried to escape Rodney, only to be caught in John’s kiss. Rodney was shaking, John could feel it. He was about to tell Rodney that they did not have to do anything when he felt a fumbling hand at his belt.
Rodney barely managed to get the belt off by himself, but John found it surprisingly erotic when he did. Rodney broke off the kiss and looked at John, his eyes unsure and searching. It sent a near painful burst through John’s chest. He kissed Rodney, a kiss that tried to say everything he would never be able to.
The sudden memory of being in the darkness, alone, came to him. It was quickly followed by how much better he had felt when John had been there, even if it had not really been him. He kissed John back, matching the intensity. John made quick work of unbuckling Rodney and taking his pants off, flinging them into the recesses of the room.
Rodney could only feel John; he did not want to feel anything else. This was what he wanted, what he had lived for. All he needed for the rest of his life was to be with John. He could care less what else happened, as long as it happened with John. He pushed off the clothing that John still wore, wanting to rid himself of everything that came between him and John; cloths, air, molecules.
John was naked, standing so close to Rodney that neither of them could tell who was who anymore. Rodney could feel the hard press of John against his leg. He moaned something that might have been words, even he was not entirely sure. John’s lips separated from his and Rodney gave a barely audible sigh.
Before Rodney could ask what he was doing, John fell to his knees, his breath sending puffs of heat across Rodney’s skin. His fingers hooked on the elastic of the smiley face boxers Rodney was wearing. John took a moment to look up into the blue pools that were now darkened with lust. Keeping his eyes glued to Rodney, he slowly brought the boxers down and throwing them with the rest of their cloths.
Even though Rodney wanted to keep looking at John, he could not but help to close his eyes when John took his dick into his mouth. Rodney had to keep his brain under control as he felt John’s tongue make circles around him. John took Rodney deep into his throat, close to where his gag reflex would stop any notion of romance.
John sucked as hard as he could and felt Rodney shudder. He kept the suction as he drew back, making Rodney make noises that John had never in his life heard. He let the dick fall from his mouth, which made Rodney whimper in argument. John licked the tip and wrapped the rest in his fist. He ran his tongue over and over again across the tip and along the sides whenever his fist moved down the shaft.
“You are so irritatingly slow,” Rodney said, though it came out in gulps of breath. Taking that as an invitation, John took all of Rodney into his mouth, in and out in a fast pace. Rodney grabbed the back of John’s head, burying his fingers in the messy hair. The faster John went, to more tense Rodney became, but just as he began to feel a tingle and a pit of heat growing in his stomach, John stopped.
“Lay down,” John said, suddenly standing up. Rodney shot him a look that would set houses on fire. John, however, was not paying attention. Instead he was rushing into Rodney’s bathroom. Faintly Rodney could hear him going through the medicine cabinet.
“What are you doing?” Rodney asked him, lying on the bed, nearly out of breath. John returned a triumphant look on his face. In his hand he held a small tube of what Rodney could guess was some kind of lubricant. John stared for a moment down at Rodney and smiled.
John lowered himself on top of Rodney slowly, hovering above him for a moment, propped by his arms like he was in the midst of doing a pushup. Rodney grabbed him around the waist with his good arm and pulled him down, giving out a gasp and a small sigh of pain when John landed on the less than perfect arm.
“Sorry, you okay?” John asked, concern evident in his voice. Rodney let out small laugh, but answered the question by giving John a long, slow, deep kiss. While Rodney was otherwise occupied, John let his hand drift down to open Rodney’s legs wider so he could settle between them with less difficulty.
Near by Rodney heard the top of the tube pop open. He felt an array of butterflies in his stomach. At first he thought he would be panicked, like he was the first time he had sex with a woman, but oddly enough he was not. He trusted John far too much to be scared, although he was nervous.
John locked eyes with him, the hazel looking browner in the low light. He received a reassuring smile from John just as he felt a finger push its way into him. His breath hitched and John stopped, worry evident in his eyes. Rodney kissed him gently, which turned into a rather sloppy, hungry kiss and two more fingers joined the first.
“John,” Rodney breathed. Every cell in John’s body shook and the goose flesh returned. John found he was nearly ready to come just by hearing Rodney say his name in such a way.
Quickly he pulled out the fingers, but had to steady himself for fear of hurting an already exasperated Rodney. He added an extra coat over his own dick before positioning it over Rodney’s opening. Once more, he looked down into Rodney’s face, flushed and sweaty.
“Oh, Jesus, Rodney,” John whispered, lowering his head next to Rodney’s and biting on his shoulder. John wanted to mark him, so that everyone knew without being told that one Dr. Rodney McKay belonged solely to him.
John slowly pushed into Rodney, hearing him grunt as he did so. Rodney turned so that his mouth was right next to John’s ear. As John pushed even more into Rodney, pulling him open, he could hear the heavy panting and soft moans the other man made. Finally, John filled Rodney completely.
“John,” Rodney managed to say. Again, John shuddered. God, he loved to hear Rodney say his name. John began to move, bringing himself out of Rodney and pushing back in slowly. With no encouragement needed, Rodney pulled John’s lips to his own harshly.
As the tempo of the kiss began to grow in intensity, so did John’s movement. He would draw himself all the way out only to plunge fully back in, just to hear the small whimper Rodney would make against his lips. But as he grew closer to his climax he began to make shallower, sharper strokes.
“Oh, shit,” Rodney yelled as one such movement hit his prostate. John could not help but smile. As John made the same move again, Rodney actually arched his back. However, Rodney decided it was time to surprise John. He grabbed John’s hand and wrapped it around his own erection.
Before John could even react, Rodney’s mouth was over his again, tongue making intricate circles over teeth and gums. Taking the initiative, John began to pump the hand around Rodney as fast as he could, but in time with his own motions. John deliberately made everyone of his jabs hit Rodney’s prostate and every time he did it, Rodney would whisper John’s name or give a guttural moan.
Rodney felt as though he could barely hang on, but did not want to let go. He never wanted John to stop, but the quick pushes into him, hitting him right where it sent bolts of electricity all over his body, were quickly ebbing away what little restraint Rodney had. Finally, with a twist of John’s wrist and several deep pushes into him and Rodney could see a burst of light behind his eyes.
It was like the sun coming out from behind a cloud, but he was watching it from behind his eyelids, so it was muted. He felt warm liquid pour out of him and onto John’s hand and he heard the amazing way John was saying his name and knew he was close too. John kept his sticky hand circled around Rodney’s softening dick and let go of all his careful thrusts.
John plowed into Rodney, as deep and hard as he could. He let out loud grunts and yelled Rodney’s name so loud Rodney was sure people on Earth could hear it. Rodney could feel John come inside him, a warm rush that alone made him want to orgasm all over again.
Letting out several harsh breaths, John slumped on top of Rodney. They were both sticky and covered in sweat and John was horribly heavy, but he desperately did not want John to move off him, or out of him. The only thing he wanted was to stay like that forever, even if it meant being sweaty, sticky, and having a heavy Air Force Colonel on him.
--
John woke with a start. He was covered in sweat and the blankets were wrapped around his legs. A pale light was shining through the window. He rubbed his face with a hand and looked around the room, which for a moment he did not recognize. That was until flashes of the night before made him remember.
“Rodney?” John asked his voice scratchy and weighed down as voices often are early in the morning. He looked around the room and found Rodney sitting behind his desk in his boxers, typing on his laptop with one hand, the other being up in a sling once again.
“Yes, pumpkin?” Rodney answered, trying to keep a smirk off his face. He hit save on his computer and turned to look at John.
“Pumpkin? Oh, I don’t think so,” John answered.
“Well, we should really have pet names,” Rodney replied, giving a reasonable smile. “Do you like “baby” better?”
“No pet names, Meredith,” John answered, both warningly and with amusement. At the statement of his real first name, Rodney’s smile faded and he gave John a nasty look. John, however, started smirking even bigger than Rodney had.
Seeing that Rodney was less than pleased at the usage, John got out of bed, untangling himself from the covers and walked over to Rodney. Once he got to his desired destination, John knelt in front of Rodney and rubbed a hand up and down his thigh, stopping just above the ankle that was still wrapped in a small cast.
“You know you can’t stay mad at me forever,” John smiled up to him. “You love me.”
“Ha! That doesn’t mean I can’t still be mad at you,” Rodney countered.
“Yes, but even if you are, you’ll still love me,” John replied. He kissed Rodney on the lips, a chaste kiss considering. John stayed inches away from Rodney’s mouth and whispered, “I showed you.”
“Shut up,” Rodney said back, capturing John’s lips in another, deeper kiss. John helped Rodney off of the chair and brought him close. At that moment John Sheppard knew he would never want to be with anyone else. That he and, of all people, Rodney McKay would be with each other until the sun burned out. And probably even after that.
The End