Why is it almost November?
I love it when time flies. I can't wait for Thanksgiving. Halloween is not one of my favorite holidays. I only like seeing the little kids dressed up. I am not really into scaring myself that much, so I don't get big kicks out of scary movies or haunted forests or whatnot.
Okay, so I am going through a pretty stressful time right now. My mom called me the other night from New Orleans to tell me they had to rush my grandfather to the hospital in an ambulance because he just passed out. She was crying telling me things were not good. So, I called my aunt because she has to know these things in case she needs to come down from South Carolina. Well, in the midst of talking to my aunt, I asked her to hold on and let me call Dwayne and ask him what was going on. She said sure, so I called Dwayne who reported that nothing was wrong and that it was Mama who wouldn't calm down. Once they came home, I was fighting with Jay over something I'll explain later, and I hear here crying in the dining room. She's crying telling me she's not an alcoholic, that she hasn't been drinking, so on and so forth, but she keeps saying the same thing over and over again. She begs me not to put her in an institution (LIKE I WOULD EVER?!?!?!?!?!). I finally get her calmed down enough to go lay down, and she literally slept for an entire day.
So yesterday, upon waking up I had the most insane headache, which never happens. I never get headaches, but recently, I have been getting them. Okay, for those of you who got them when you were younger, or just randomly get them, I pity you, and I am very sorry for my unsympathetic ways. Anyways, these headaches make it to where I can't even move. I woke up this morning and still had it, but I just kept going back to sleep, and it's still with me, but very very minor. So of course, my first thought is I have a tumor. And I really need to go get this checked out because I think I might.
I am thinking, though, that the last time I got this headache was when my grandfather was in the hospital the first time. I remember calling my mom, and she was out of town, then, so that would make sense. Anyways, I see a correlation between these two things. Like I have said before, I can handle school stress, but any kind of family stress doesn't mesh well with me at all, and my body has a serious reaction to it.
So my grandfather is okay. I still have no idea what happened, but now he won't be able to drive because he passes out, so that will severely limit his independence, and that won't be good at all. We are going to pick him up tomorrow.
So this Jay thing. Jay is thinking about going to see some of his friends three hours away, who haven't even called him this whole semester, and I basically was told that I could not go. I mean, it just pisses me off that I'm with him all the time, that any time I have things to do with Patrick, Nancy, Becca, anybody, Jay is ALWAYS invited. He didn't even say, you can come, but you won't have fun. He was like, no, you can't come. And it just pisses me off that we never get to go on dates, even though Jay is making hella money at Best Buy, but he's willing to spend all this money, and put mileage on his car to see his friends who make it clear that they don't want me there? I would never hang out with anyone who didn't want Jay around. That's crappy. The other part that bothers me (and yes, I admit this shows our butt-stuck ways) is that since last November or December, Jay and I have not gone one day without seeing each other. Granted, some of those times have only been 5-10 minutes, we still see each other every day. He's going to spend the whole weekend up there, which means that Saturday, I won't see him, but I gave him an alternate plan that would work just as well, and he was like no, that won't work. Why won't it work? Because he would get more afternoon time instead of night time, but why does he want to be up there for the night anyways? Don't scandalous things happen in the night? God, I'm so obsessing, and I'm stopping. The part that really bothers me is that I was expressly not invited and that doesn't bother Jay. I probably wouldn't have gone because I realize it will be guy time and I will be miserable.
Oh, and other things to stress me out.
-I've been feeling like I have to be like my father this past week, and those are hard shoes to fill.
-The ten year anniversary of my sister's death will be upon me this week (probably when Jay leaves, another reason I don't want him to go). God, I can't believe it's been a decade.
-My mom had a mammogram done and they called her back, but didn't tell her why. So, here I am worrying if it's nothing, or if she just needs another mammogram because the first one was inconclusive, or if she has some massive lump like the one that is probably growing in my brain (that was rude, I'm sorry...I'm a hypochondriac).
I know that I'm being too stressed here, but I just always consider the worse, especially when it comes to my family because the times that I have tried to consider the best, well, those didn't work out so well in our favor.
Okay, that's all. I want to read some today. On a bright note, Desperate Housewives is on tonight, and I like that show, when I can catch it.
Okay, so I am going through a pretty stressful time right now. My mom called me the other night from New Orleans to tell me they had to rush my grandfather to the hospital in an ambulance because he just passed out. She was crying telling me things were not good. So, I called my aunt because she has to know these things in case she needs to come down from South Carolina. Well, in the midst of talking to my aunt, I asked her to hold on and let me call Dwayne and ask him what was going on. She said sure, so I called Dwayne who reported that nothing was wrong and that it was Mama who wouldn't calm down. Once they came home, I was fighting with Jay over something I'll explain later, and I hear here crying in the dining room. She's crying telling me she's not an alcoholic, that she hasn't been drinking, so on and so forth, but she keeps saying the same thing over and over again. She begs me not to put her in an institution (LIKE I WOULD EVER?!?!?!?!?!). I finally get her calmed down enough to go lay down, and she literally slept for an entire day.
So yesterday, upon waking up I had the most insane headache, which never happens. I never get headaches, but recently, I have been getting them. Okay, for those of you who got them when you were younger, or just randomly get them, I pity you, and I am very sorry for my unsympathetic ways. Anyways, these headaches make it to where I can't even move. I woke up this morning and still had it, but I just kept going back to sleep, and it's still with me, but very very minor. So of course, my first thought is I have a tumor. And I really need to go get this checked out because I think I might.
I am thinking, though, that the last time I got this headache was when my grandfather was in the hospital the first time. I remember calling my mom, and she was out of town, then, so that would make sense. Anyways, I see a correlation between these two things. Like I have said before, I can handle school stress, but any kind of family stress doesn't mesh well with me at all, and my body has a serious reaction to it.
So my grandfather is okay. I still have no idea what happened, but now he won't be able to drive because he passes out, so that will severely limit his independence, and that won't be good at all. We are going to pick him up tomorrow.
So this Jay thing. Jay is thinking about going to see some of his friends three hours away, who haven't even called him this whole semester, and I basically was told that I could not go. I mean, it just pisses me off that I'm with him all the time, that any time I have things to do with Patrick, Nancy, Becca, anybody, Jay is ALWAYS invited. He didn't even say, you can come, but you won't have fun. He was like, no, you can't come. And it just pisses me off that we never get to go on dates, even though Jay is making hella money at Best Buy, but he's willing to spend all this money, and put mileage on his car to see his friends who make it clear that they don't want me there? I would never hang out with anyone who didn't want Jay around. That's crappy. The other part that bothers me (and yes, I admit this shows our butt-stuck ways) is that since last November or December, Jay and I have not gone one day without seeing each other. Granted, some of those times have only been 5-10 minutes, we still see each other every day. He's going to spend the whole weekend up there, which means that Saturday, I won't see him, but I gave him an alternate plan that would work just as well, and he was like no, that won't work. Why won't it work? Because he would get more afternoon time instead of night time, but why does he want to be up there for the night anyways? Don't scandalous things happen in the night? God, I'm so obsessing, and I'm stopping. The part that really bothers me is that I was expressly not invited and that doesn't bother Jay. I probably wouldn't have gone because I realize it will be guy time and I will be miserable.
Oh, and other things to stress me out.
-I've been feeling like I have to be like my father this past week, and those are hard shoes to fill.
-The ten year anniversary of my sister's death will be upon me this week (probably when Jay leaves, another reason I don't want him to go). God, I can't believe it's been a decade.
-My mom had a mammogram done and they called her back, but didn't tell her why. So, here I am worrying if it's nothing, or if she just needs another mammogram because the first one was inconclusive, or if she has some massive lump like the one that is probably growing in my brain (that was rude, I'm sorry...I'm a hypochondriac).
I know that I'm being too stressed here, but I just always consider the worse, especially when it comes to my family because the times that I have tried to consider the best, well, those didn't work out so well in our favor.
Okay, that's all. I want to read some today. On a bright note, Desperate Housewives is on tonight, and I like that show, when I can catch it.