All teh Happenings...
This is the extended version of how the whole last 5-6 days went down.
I'll start off with some of the good news: We are finally home. I'm not getting as much done as I'd like though because things didn't exactly go "according to plan." We are all doing well so far and my husband has been a very enthusiastic and supportive new dad. He has really been my rock the last few days and has only had kind words for me when I would grow frustrated. My current good mood is largely to his credit.
My water broke at about 3:30am Tues. It was a little weird because I was not exactly gushing and it was more like a slow sporadic leak that came in spurts... It took me about 15 minutes to even determine what was actually going on and even as we were getting ready to go, I was still wondering if it was a false alarm. We convinced my mother-in-law (MIL) to stay home for the time being, just in case they sent me home. But once we got to the hospital, it became pretty clear to me that I had guessed right because the leak was getting worse.
They admitted me, hauled me in on a stretcher and ran a quick test to determine if I was in fact leaking. It was positive, so they had me wait for a room. I was informed then that it was to be a busy day because many moms were being induced so they could have their babies before the 4th.
Now, when the water breaks labor does not always immediately follow, as was my case... NOTHING was happening. But the chance of infection rises significantly when you do break your water and they generally want to get the baby out as soon as they can. So, once they got me into a room by about 7am, they started administering drugs to induce labor. At this point, my husband went home and got his mother. She was in the hospital room for about 30 minutes staring at us expectantly while nothing happened before my husband suggested she go home and he took her home again (he brought her back in the afternoon).
We waited forever. And while contractions started, and got progressively more painful, the rest of me was not cooperating. My regular doctor was unfortunately on call the night before, so she came to see me, but had to go home for some sleep. I understood and was ok with this (did I have a choice?) A male doctor that I had seen once or twice during my prenatal visits was to take over. Before my doctor left, she tried her hardest to insert this internal monitor to measure contractions more accurately but my body was still not lined up right for labor and we could not get it in (my baby on the other hand had been in the correct position for nearly 3 weeks already, so no blame on her).
About 15 min after my doctor went home, the male doc came in. Despite the fact that the nurse told him my doctor had just tried twice to get that monitor in (and the nurse also gave it a go once), the guy insisted he could do it. After ignoring the fact that this was just tried less than 15min ago, he decided to invade my space a 4th time. He couldn't get it either 9_9
He then informs me that he will be out of the hospital for about 3-4 hours this afternoon, and another doctor will cover for him. But he expected me to still be pregnant by the time he got back and told me I should be ready for a long day/night... this was around 11am.
I did ask for an epidural when things began to get too painful, but it did not get inserted quite right and it only numbed one side. This made it feel like someone had their fist inside my abdomen and was squeezing my left side as hard as they could. The nurse was very frustrated because she kept telling them to send the anesthesiologist back to fix it, but he was taken someplace else.
It was also around this time that the nurse was begging the doctor to come take a look at me before he left. It was about 4pm and he had not checked in on me since 11am. The nurse was REALLY PISSED to find out that he snuck away without at least assessing my condition, and she was even more angry to find out that the reason he ran out was to attend a little league game. She had absolutely no problems with giving that little fact away. My nurse was really great, btw.
And while some of you may be thinking "OMG malpractice or negligence!" I kinda came to terms with it this way: 1) I understand that doctors have to have a life too. 2) Maybe he really thought it wasn't that bad yet, or he simply didn't realize how long it had been. 3) My mom was a nurse and worked in a maternity ward/nursery. When I told her what happened, she said this kind of crap used to happen all the time... so, she was not surprised. My husband on the other hand wanted to slug the guy and gave him the evil eye every time he saw him thereafter.
So, by this point they were throwing around the idea of a c-section, and with only half an epidural, the knowledge that the doc didn't even check on me before he left, and the feeling that someone was performing Temple of Doom style Kali-Ma on the left side of my uterus, I began to get very scared and I started to cry. I just couldn't help it. When my nurse saw that, she immediately went to the doctor who was covering for the guy who left and asked that she call him right away and make a real plan this time. She also told them to get someone/anyone from anesthesia to come fix that epidural already. Finally, they took her seriously and sent a guy in. It took less than 5 min for him to reposition it so it worked 9_9 had they done that an hour earlier, I probably would not have felt so hopeless (yes, they left me like that for over an hour, I think it was closer to 90 min).
The lady doctor who was covering for the guy who left came in almost right away when she heard how distressed I was. She then explained that she was going to consult with the other doctor (since it was technically his shift) but it was her advice that we think about just ending it with a c-section.
I was scared to have surgery. But I also knew that it was hospital policy that if I had a c-section, I would be forced to have one for all future births too. This is largely due to the fact that malpractice insurance rates go through the roof in this state for any doc who tries to deliver vaginally after a c-section. They also are required to have a certain amount of staff on hand, because it is considered risky. And while this isn't a tiny hospital, I was told the regulations were just too strict. What really was the determining factor for me though was the knowledge that the whole ordeal already was putting a lot of strain on the baby and her heart rate dropped twice already. I did not want to put her at risk for the sake of my own vanity.
So, I had her at 7:12pm by c-section for failure to progress. I can't say it went how any of us imagined it. My husband was present at the operation and he was a big support. We were finally in a room by 11pm.
The next day my MIL came back to the hospital. She seemed frustrated with everything that was going on. My husband left briefly to go home, shower and look at some pictures he took. While he was away I began to see that we were having trouble with breast feeding. It is partly my anatomy and partly my daughter, she just doesn't get where to properly place her tongue. MIL began to get really pushy with me, demanding I try to feed her every hour and trying to be a backseat driver as the baby and I struggled. This led both of us to grow increasingly frustrated and I did not like her being in my personal space trying to be a 3rd and sometimes 4th hand. The last thing I want is my little girl to associate food with frustration, especially since girls already have body image/food issues.
When my husband returned and saw all this he told his mother that she needs to back off. she left in a huff and didn't come back that day. To deal with the feeding difficulties, we talked to a lactation consultant and decided to start supplementing with formula.
I was really uncomfortable in the hospital. I hurt because of the surgery and I was getting neck and back pain on top of it because the beds and pillows were terrible. I can only imagine how bad the couch my husband slept on was. MIL came again the next day and seemed moody. She informed us that she was now leaving two weeks early (this coming Friday).
At first I thought it was because we interfered with her baby birthing fantasy. We wouldn't let her pass out chocolates to strangers in the hospital, my husband threw her out for being bossy and she didn't get to witness the birth first hand. But it turns out there are two other reasons: 1) Her dad (my husband's grandfather) is diabetic and my husband's sister is worried about caring for him for the next 2 weeks alone. 2) She just took ownership of a pharmacy in a small town. Not only have the townsfolk not taken well to this, but she left one of her employees in charge of the business and apparently he's been closing the shop early and goofing off. She can't afford to be in debt in her home country as well as here. So, this business cannot fail or she's really screwed.
I finally was released on Friday. I was emotional and ready to get away from all the people. I was so tired of people bothering me every hour or so. You get NO SLEEP in hospitals. So, I was exhausted and hurting and ready to hide in my own house.
Since then, it has become more bearable. Even with the feedings every four hours, I'm getting more sleep and I feel much better emotionally. My baby has been really sweet so far and I am getting into a bit of a routine. Even though she has not gotten the hang of breastfeeding, I started pumping for her and using bottles. I decided the most important thing was for her to get the immune system benefits and it really didn't matter how the milk was delivered. I may still try to get her to feed from the source, buuut it really doesn't matter in the end and I'm ok with that. I don't quite make enough for her to feed on breast milk alone, but a little formula doesn't hurt either.
Also, the two vessel umbilical cord seems to have left her unaffected. She has all her fingers and toes, and no heart or kidney problems. She was a little on the small side though at 5lbs. 15oz. But if that was the only side effect, I can totally live with that.
MIL has been a bit bossy at home too and keeps criticizing how we do things. Some of her advice has been less than helpful too... so, it's just as well she is leaving early. She is still over cooking for the 3 of us. She leaves half eaten food lying around (mostly pastries).
I find it exceptionally gross when she leaves a wet cigarette butt in the kitchen sink. She does her smoking outside, so I'm not sure why she brings the things back inside when there is concrete outside for her to snuff them and soak them if she wants... I do suspect she smoked in our main bath while we were in the hospital. It has a funny smoke covered in perfume smell now. Also, she seems to think dousing herself in perfume is better for the baby than smokey clothes -- we informed her it is equally bad if not worse :p
My parents are coming this Wed. My mom is thinking of taking family medical leave so she can stay 3 weeks to help me recover. The c-section kinda changed things and she thinks I shouldn't be alone all day til I'm more healed. My husband, unfortunately cannot take his 2 weeks of baby bonding time til August because he only started this job at the beginning of last July and they said he had to have a full year in to be eligible for it. Then he has to give 30 days notice... so that puts us at August.
But I suppose everything happens for a reason. My husband is worried my mom will be just as overbearing as his. I am sure she won't be. My mom is a hopeless introvert and I know she'd back off and let us do "couple things" with the baby, especially if we asked. She also won't dirty up my kitchen :p (I swear MIL let Crisco explode in the microwave and left it).
Anyhow, it has been an emotional roller coaster, but I am feeling much better :)
I'll start off with some of the good news: We are finally home. I'm not getting as much done as I'd like though because things didn't exactly go "according to plan." We are all doing well so far and my husband has been a very enthusiastic and supportive new dad. He has really been my rock the last few days and has only had kind words for me when I would grow frustrated. My current good mood is largely to his credit.
My water broke at about 3:30am Tues. It was a little weird because I was not exactly gushing and it was more like a slow sporadic leak that came in spurts... It took me about 15 minutes to even determine what was actually going on and even as we were getting ready to go, I was still wondering if it was a false alarm. We convinced my mother-in-law (MIL) to stay home for the time being, just in case they sent me home. But once we got to the hospital, it became pretty clear to me that I had guessed right because the leak was getting worse.
They admitted me, hauled me in on a stretcher and ran a quick test to determine if I was in fact leaking. It was positive, so they had me wait for a room. I was informed then that it was to be a busy day because many moms were being induced so they could have their babies before the 4th.
Now, when the water breaks labor does not always immediately follow, as was my case... NOTHING was happening. But the chance of infection rises significantly when you do break your water and they generally want to get the baby out as soon as they can. So, once they got me into a room by about 7am, they started administering drugs to induce labor. At this point, my husband went home and got his mother. She was in the hospital room for about 30 minutes staring at us expectantly while nothing happened before my husband suggested she go home and he took her home again (he brought her back in the afternoon).
We waited forever. And while contractions started, and got progressively more painful, the rest of me was not cooperating. My regular doctor was unfortunately on call the night before, so she came to see me, but had to go home for some sleep. I understood and was ok with this (did I have a choice?) A male doctor that I had seen once or twice during my prenatal visits was to take over. Before my doctor left, she tried her hardest to insert this internal monitor to measure contractions more accurately but my body was still not lined up right for labor and we could not get it in (my baby on the other hand had been in the correct position for nearly 3 weeks already, so no blame on her).
About 15 min after my doctor went home, the male doc came in. Despite the fact that the nurse told him my doctor had just tried twice to get that monitor in (and the nurse also gave it a go once), the guy insisted he could do it. After ignoring the fact that this was just tried less than 15min ago, he decided to invade my space a 4th time. He couldn't get it either 9_9
He then informs me that he will be out of the hospital for about 3-4 hours this afternoon, and another doctor will cover for him. But he expected me to still be pregnant by the time he got back and told me I should be ready for a long day/night... this was around 11am.
I did ask for an epidural when things began to get too painful, but it did not get inserted quite right and it only numbed one side. This made it feel like someone had their fist inside my abdomen and was squeezing my left side as hard as they could. The nurse was very frustrated because she kept telling them to send the anesthesiologist back to fix it, but he was taken someplace else.
It was also around this time that the nurse was begging the doctor to come take a look at me before he left. It was about 4pm and he had not checked in on me since 11am. The nurse was REALLY PISSED to find out that he snuck away without at least assessing my condition, and she was even more angry to find out that the reason he ran out was to attend a little league game. She had absolutely no problems with giving that little fact away. My nurse was really great, btw.
And while some of you may be thinking "OMG malpractice or negligence!" I kinda came to terms with it this way: 1) I understand that doctors have to have a life too. 2) Maybe he really thought it wasn't that bad yet, or he simply didn't realize how long it had been. 3) My mom was a nurse and worked in a maternity ward/nursery. When I told her what happened, she said this kind of crap used to happen all the time... so, she was not surprised. My husband on the other hand wanted to slug the guy and gave him the evil eye every time he saw him thereafter.
So, by this point they were throwing around the idea of a c-section, and with only half an epidural, the knowledge that the doc didn't even check on me before he left, and the feeling that someone was performing Temple of Doom style Kali-Ma on the left side of my uterus, I began to get very scared and I started to cry. I just couldn't help it. When my nurse saw that, she immediately went to the doctor who was covering for the guy who left and asked that she call him right away and make a real plan this time. She also told them to get someone/anyone from anesthesia to come fix that epidural already. Finally, they took her seriously and sent a guy in. It took less than 5 min for him to reposition it so it worked 9_9 had they done that an hour earlier, I probably would not have felt so hopeless (yes, they left me like that for over an hour, I think it was closer to 90 min).
The lady doctor who was covering for the guy who left came in almost right away when she heard how distressed I was. She then explained that she was going to consult with the other doctor (since it was technically his shift) but it was her advice that we think about just ending it with a c-section.
I was scared to have surgery. But I also knew that it was hospital policy that if I had a c-section, I would be forced to have one for all future births too. This is largely due to the fact that malpractice insurance rates go through the roof in this state for any doc who tries to deliver vaginally after a c-section. They also are required to have a certain amount of staff on hand, because it is considered risky. And while this isn't a tiny hospital, I was told the regulations were just too strict. What really was the determining factor for me though was the knowledge that the whole ordeal already was putting a lot of strain on the baby and her heart rate dropped twice already. I did not want to put her at risk for the sake of my own vanity.
So, I had her at 7:12pm by c-section for failure to progress. I can't say it went how any of us imagined it. My husband was present at the operation and he was a big support. We were finally in a room by 11pm.
The next day my MIL came back to the hospital. She seemed frustrated with everything that was going on. My husband left briefly to go home, shower and look at some pictures he took. While he was away I began to see that we were having trouble with breast feeding. It is partly my anatomy and partly my daughter, she just doesn't get where to properly place her tongue. MIL began to get really pushy with me, demanding I try to feed her every hour and trying to be a backseat driver as the baby and I struggled. This led both of us to grow increasingly frustrated and I did not like her being in my personal space trying to be a 3rd and sometimes 4th hand. The last thing I want is my little girl to associate food with frustration, especially since girls already have body image/food issues.
When my husband returned and saw all this he told his mother that she needs to back off. she left in a huff and didn't come back that day. To deal with the feeding difficulties, we talked to a lactation consultant and decided to start supplementing with formula.
I was really uncomfortable in the hospital. I hurt because of the surgery and I was getting neck and back pain on top of it because the beds and pillows were terrible. I can only imagine how bad the couch my husband slept on was. MIL came again the next day and seemed moody. She informed us that she was now leaving two weeks early (this coming Friday).
At first I thought it was because we interfered with her baby birthing fantasy. We wouldn't let her pass out chocolates to strangers in the hospital, my husband threw her out for being bossy and she didn't get to witness the birth first hand. But it turns out there are two other reasons: 1) Her dad (my husband's grandfather) is diabetic and my husband's sister is worried about caring for him for the next 2 weeks alone. 2) She just took ownership of a pharmacy in a small town. Not only have the townsfolk not taken well to this, but she left one of her employees in charge of the business and apparently he's been closing the shop early and goofing off. She can't afford to be in debt in her home country as well as here. So, this business cannot fail or she's really screwed.
I finally was released on Friday. I was emotional and ready to get away from all the people. I was so tired of people bothering me every hour or so. You get NO SLEEP in hospitals. So, I was exhausted and hurting and ready to hide in my own house.
Since then, it has become more bearable. Even with the feedings every four hours, I'm getting more sleep and I feel much better emotionally. My baby has been really sweet so far and I am getting into a bit of a routine. Even though she has not gotten the hang of breastfeeding, I started pumping for her and using bottles. I decided the most important thing was for her to get the immune system benefits and it really didn't matter how the milk was delivered. I may still try to get her to feed from the source, buuut it really doesn't matter in the end and I'm ok with that. I don't quite make enough for her to feed on breast milk alone, but a little formula doesn't hurt either.
Also, the two vessel umbilical cord seems to have left her unaffected. She has all her fingers and toes, and no heart or kidney problems. She was a little on the small side though at 5lbs. 15oz. But if that was the only side effect, I can totally live with that.
MIL has been a bit bossy at home too and keeps criticizing how we do things. Some of her advice has been less than helpful too... so, it's just as well she is leaving early. She is still over cooking for the 3 of us. She leaves half eaten food lying around (mostly pastries).
I find it exceptionally gross when she leaves a wet cigarette butt in the kitchen sink. She does her smoking outside, so I'm not sure why she brings the things back inside when there is concrete outside for her to snuff them and soak them if she wants... I do suspect she smoked in our main bath while we were in the hospital. It has a funny smoke covered in perfume smell now. Also, she seems to think dousing herself in perfume is better for the baby than smokey clothes -- we informed her it is equally bad if not worse :p
My parents are coming this Wed. My mom is thinking of taking family medical leave so she can stay 3 weeks to help me recover. The c-section kinda changed things and she thinks I shouldn't be alone all day til I'm more healed. My husband, unfortunately cannot take his 2 weeks of baby bonding time til August because he only started this job at the beginning of last July and they said he had to have a full year in to be eligible for it. Then he has to give 30 days notice... so that puts us at August.
But I suppose everything happens for a reason. My husband is worried my mom will be just as overbearing as his. I am sure she won't be. My mom is a hopeless introvert and I know she'd back off and let us do "couple things" with the baby, especially if we asked. She also won't dirty up my kitchen :p (I swear MIL let Crisco explode in the microwave and left it).
Anyhow, it has been an emotional roller coaster, but I am feeling much better :)