Something's Gotta Give
Work continues to stress me. I am finding that it is affecting my entire life. I am holding back from applying to other jobs because I have a track of self-talk on loop that I'm not actually as good at things like multi-tasking and working under deadlines as I think I am -- all because some psycho workaholic is comparing herself to me and making me feel inadequate. It's disgraceful, really it is. Because when she's not there, I am able to produce work that I am pleased with -- perhaps not perfect work, but only crazy people like her expect things to be perfect all the time. If I am taking my time with the work, double-checking it before I hand it in, and doing everything in my power to create something good, then I can't help the inevitable few things that slip through the cracks. I know I'm a good worker, but I also know that I work best when I don't have ten crazy pressure deadlines looming over me, and I find it hard to believe that every place you go in the working world is like that.
I'm afraid to make a change as drastic as moving out to Lodi, but at the same time, it seems like such a fabulous option. I know there are some downsides, but the optimist in me doesn't want to see them. It's really quite difficult to spend all one's time in a place in which one is made to feel inferior, and yet be expected to produce superior work, and not want to do something, anything, to change that situation.
The bottom line is I really only want to work part time, make enough to get by but have time to work on my writing, live life, and do things I enjoy.
I know, how original. But seriously. I can't keep going there and subjecting myself to this kind of abuse. Something needs to change.
I got in a great workout tonight, which was awesome. I'm excited about working out again, it will be nice to stick to that routine. At least it helps to relieve the stress. Tomorrow I go to get a new driver's liscence. I'm excited for taking a new picture, and putting down a new weight. Good times.
I'm afraid to make a change as drastic as moving out to Lodi, but at the same time, it seems like such a fabulous option. I know there are some downsides, but the optimist in me doesn't want to see them. It's really quite difficult to spend all one's time in a place in which one is made to feel inferior, and yet be expected to produce superior work, and not want to do something, anything, to change that situation.
The bottom line is I really only want to work part time, make enough to get by but have time to work on my writing, live life, and do things I enjoy.
I know, how original. But seriously. I can't keep going there and subjecting myself to this kind of abuse. Something needs to change.
I got in a great workout tonight, which was awesome. I'm excited about working out again, it will be nice to stick to that routine. At least it helps to relieve the stress. Tomorrow I go to get a new driver's liscence. I'm excited for taking a new picture, and putting down a new weight. Good times.