Making my own way
I am beginning to realize something very important lately. I have started to believe that I control my experience in this life, and that I can manifest my reality and that I'm already doing it, whether I'm conscious of it or not.
But with precision now, I'm starting to sculpt my mind, my body, my circumstances and my interactions with this world in a way I never dreamed possible.
Starting with the car accident.: Got into an accident, got an injury. Was slightly injured before that. Wasn't exercising. Weighed almost 200lbs. Sick most of the time, I was weak and saw very little hope for ever being capable of doing much physically. I was always noticing my limits.
Today, I weigh 147lbs. I lost about 50 pounds since July 2008. I exercise at least 45 minutes a day, 4-7 days a week. I eat very few carbs, thus reducing muscle soreness and keeping my body at my ideal BMI percentage. I eat more vegetables than ever, never really get sick, and my chiropractor who has been helping me through the accident said that I'm living proof that a person can change their health completely. He couldn't believe that I was doing the exercises that I was doing 4 short weeks after the accident.
I set my mind to healing, and I decided that nothing was more important than feeling good, because I started understanding that whatever you think about, you bring about. And I started feeling good. And my body responded. And because I felt good, I wanted to do more things that feel good, like taking care of my body and getting stronger. For the first time in my life, I jogged about a month ago (I had exercise induced asthma all though childhood and premature lungs). It felt like I was flying. I felt a feeling like my lungs were going to burst, but I kept going and breathed through it. I felt amazing. I am going to start training for a marathon in June.
Now moving on to my career: I got fired from my job and kicked out of my house a year ago. Massage therapy was the last thing in the world I wanted to do, because I thought I wasn't strong enough, I was thinking it would only bring about negative experiences, and so I kept getting into various "steady paycheck" myth jobs where I was miserable. I doubted my ability to make it as a massage therapist.
A person very near and dear to me told me a while back that I was emotionally unstable and no one would ever be able to work with me, or hire me. This stuck with me way too long, and it really started to affect everything.
A month ago, I quit my job with an abusive boss and a "steady paycheck" that wasn't so steady, the last one I got there I wasn't able to make my rent payment without doing some sidework, which I had no time or energy to feel the initiative to do. I made a promise to myself that day: I will never work for a paycheck ever again. Because when you work for a paycheck, you're not helping anyone, including yourself. That mentality of staying at a job beacuse there were no other options made me poor in many ways.
I have been chipping away at my mistakes and my actions, looking to see what's beneath them. I see life like this: there are two things that motivate us; love and fear. When I do things out of love, awesome things happen. People get inspired. When I do things because I feel there's no other option, or I'm scared that I won't be taken care of, and I worry about what others think, I go against what my instincts tell me to do.
I have enjoyed the past month of my life more than any other time. There has been a lot of Unknown (the reason for me staying at the job for too long: fear of the Unknown) but it's been beautiful for the first time. There is always a lot of Unknown... it's just that I didn't realize before. And all of the stuff I thought I could predict, I was really in control of the whole time.
We have the reticular activating system to filter through unneccesary information that isn't currently relevant to us, and the important things filter through and stand out. Now, I've learned to change the way I think. I hear things I never heard before. I don't hear things I used to as much. I'm changing the content of my life.
And I can honestly say, as I paid my rent for the first time this month without a J.O.B. and a feeling that I should be punished for my mistakes, my flaws, I never really realized what I thought and that I was bringing more and more of it to myself by the way I thought. I feel free for the first time in my life. I feel healthy, and thankful, but I also know that there's so much more that I don't even see that I have to be thankful for, and I'm very happy to have so much opportunity to be exposed to all the opportunity and beauty and love and interaction with awesome people that life has to offer.
There are challenges in life, yes but what we make of them is what reveals us to ourselves.
I'm very thankful for all of you, and thanks for taking the time to read this.
Love,
Kathryn
But with precision now, I'm starting to sculpt my mind, my body, my circumstances and my interactions with this world in a way I never dreamed possible.
Starting with the car accident.: Got into an accident, got an injury. Was slightly injured before that. Wasn't exercising. Weighed almost 200lbs. Sick most of the time, I was weak and saw very little hope for ever being capable of doing much physically. I was always noticing my limits.
Today, I weigh 147lbs. I lost about 50 pounds since July 2008. I exercise at least 45 minutes a day, 4-7 days a week. I eat very few carbs, thus reducing muscle soreness and keeping my body at my ideal BMI percentage. I eat more vegetables than ever, never really get sick, and my chiropractor who has been helping me through the accident said that I'm living proof that a person can change their health completely. He couldn't believe that I was doing the exercises that I was doing 4 short weeks after the accident.
I set my mind to healing, and I decided that nothing was more important than feeling good, because I started understanding that whatever you think about, you bring about. And I started feeling good. And my body responded. And because I felt good, I wanted to do more things that feel good, like taking care of my body and getting stronger. For the first time in my life, I jogged about a month ago (I had exercise induced asthma all though childhood and premature lungs). It felt like I was flying. I felt a feeling like my lungs were going to burst, but I kept going and breathed through it. I felt amazing. I am going to start training for a marathon in June.
Now moving on to my career: I got fired from my job and kicked out of my house a year ago. Massage therapy was the last thing in the world I wanted to do, because I thought I wasn't strong enough, I was thinking it would only bring about negative experiences, and so I kept getting into various "steady paycheck" myth jobs where I was miserable. I doubted my ability to make it as a massage therapist.
A person very near and dear to me told me a while back that I was emotionally unstable and no one would ever be able to work with me, or hire me. This stuck with me way too long, and it really started to affect everything.
A month ago, I quit my job with an abusive boss and a "steady paycheck" that wasn't so steady, the last one I got there I wasn't able to make my rent payment without doing some sidework, which I had no time or energy to feel the initiative to do. I made a promise to myself that day: I will never work for a paycheck ever again. Because when you work for a paycheck, you're not helping anyone, including yourself. That mentality of staying at a job beacuse there were no other options made me poor in many ways.
I have been chipping away at my mistakes and my actions, looking to see what's beneath them. I see life like this: there are two things that motivate us; love and fear. When I do things out of love, awesome things happen. People get inspired. When I do things because I feel there's no other option, or I'm scared that I won't be taken care of, and I worry about what others think, I go against what my instincts tell me to do.
I have enjoyed the past month of my life more than any other time. There has been a lot of Unknown (the reason for me staying at the job for too long: fear of the Unknown) but it's been beautiful for the first time. There is always a lot of Unknown... it's just that I didn't realize before. And all of the stuff I thought I could predict, I was really in control of the whole time.
We have the reticular activating system to filter through unneccesary information that isn't currently relevant to us, and the important things filter through and stand out. Now, I've learned to change the way I think. I hear things I never heard before. I don't hear things I used to as much. I'm changing the content of my life.
And I can honestly say, as I paid my rent for the first time this month without a J.O.B. and a feeling that I should be punished for my mistakes, my flaws, I never really realized what I thought and that I was bringing more and more of it to myself by the way I thought. I feel free for the first time in my life. I feel healthy, and thankful, but I also know that there's so much more that I don't even see that I have to be thankful for, and I'm very happy to have so much opportunity to be exposed to all the opportunity and beauty and love and interaction with awesome people that life has to offer.
There are challenges in life, yes but what we make of them is what reveals us to ourselves.
I'm very thankful for all of you, and thanks for taking the time to read this.
Love,
Kathryn