meh
This week has been mostly shitty. I walked up to my dad who was smoking. Who supposedly quit. Who credits it to that new medicine. He didnt quit. It was only temporary. Like always. I was so proud of him. I thought that he actually did it this time. I thought he really quit. He didnt know that I saw him. I was so disapointed. Thank bob for Jeff, hes such an awesome friend. Even though he didnt know what to say, or what to do, it was just helpful to have that arm around my shoulder. I dont think Ive cried that hard since Jillian died. Im scared to lose my parents. Especially my dad. Hes my dad hes always been there for me. FUck, I cant even type this without crying. Anyways, I called and told mom because its the right thing to do. My dad called me and apologized and said he was going to start taking his medicine. He tried to blame it on stress. Im tired of seeing my dad die in front of me. Maybe he just doesnt care. Why doesnt he value his life? Maybe he doesnt appreciate the things around him. I know that the odds are against my dad (heart attack, 5 way bipass, overweight, diabetic, bad circulation, bad thyroid) I just have this fear that as soon as I move away and get settled in, hes going to die, and Im going to lose everything all at once. It is pretty much the main reason that I havent left yet. Thats pretty much why the week has been shitty.
I havent done much of anything exciting. It will be good to go camping I hope, just to get away from everything. On an exciting note, I made an awesome cake and brought it to work a few days ago.
Thats all for the post. I was hoping for more, but the mood is gone.
I havent done much of anything exciting. It will be good to go camping I hope, just to get away from everything. On an exciting note, I made an awesome cake and brought it to work a few days ago.
Thats all for the post. I was hoping for more, but the mood is gone.