(no subject)
So it's officially the 4th week of school. Like 30 somethin left to go. mhm.
Centrals so different. But it's weird because it's not even the school that makes it different.. i don't even know what it is, maybe the fact that it's highschool, or that we're with a bunch of older people, surrounded and over weighed. Or maybe just the age of when everyones driving/maturing. It's weird. i read back on my x-anga.. the olden days. I read the things i say and have no idea why i would write about that, You know what i'm talking about, you know you've read someones livejournal and said something along the lines.. what made them have the interest of telling everyone who clicks their link to read about her boring life and its minor details explaining everything she could think of to the last bit.
Its my birthday in a couple days. 16th. i'm happy. Not as excited as i used to be. my moms let me drive around since i was 14. idk. thats weird i know. its just because i was sick tho. My mom is being so laid back lately.. shes let me do whatever i want. She knows about me drinking now.. from my fucking Sister. ya, i know what kind of sister does that. oh well. i had more black mail on her. ima sneaky bitch and there was no way she was going to win. so my curfews like 1? and when i get my car its going to be -in-sane-
So adderol. I started it back up. you might notice, might not. I'm taking 30 mgs now.. like 10+ my last amount? ya. i do my work, so its good. i hate when people treat me differently because of it. they're setting themselves up for me to get pissed off at them. ugh. So i recently found out i'm mean. haha. yup. idk. i hate it when people say that i mean something when i don't even know what they're talking about.
I think i finally realized what i did wrong. I wish it was obvious before. but god, you know how to make it obvious. stupid mistakes.
so my emotions are pretty messed up right now. kind of on delay, i guess. Stupid catherine. Maybe im over reacting. i'm to stupid to realize it. Its not like any of this was real in the first place. so how could my emotions be real? Maybe i just want something to over react about. Something to focus my attention on. someething to feel sorry for myself about. all i know is, im better than i was.
anyways,
i'm out