Fanfic: Gravity
Title: Gravity
Rating: T
Summary: Red John is gone and the end isn't what Jane thought it would be.
Disclaimer: Not mine!
Notes: Written for the November Paint it Red Challenge "Gravity won't hold me down."
Gravity
Jane looked out at the sun coming up over the hills. Red John was dead. He should be running, he wasn't in jail, but he couldn't do it. All he could think about was the look on Lisbon's face when she came in and saw Red John on the floor, clearly dead. Pain and disappointment radiated off her. He knew that she had held out hope that he would allow Red John to live, let Red John face her visions of justice. Jane had thought he had made it clear that "justice" as she wanted would never happen. Still, the look on her face would haunt him.
He had gone back to the CBI building, not knowing where else to go, though he knew that the team would have to leave soon. He couldn't keep working here. He knew that the team would never forgive him, and as the sun got higher in the sky, he found that he was unable to move past the look on Lisbon's face and the probable disappointment of the team was over whelming. He had thought that he would feel better after Red John. He had imagined that relief would come, or that he would feel better, but he didn't. He still felt responsible for his families deaths he still felt guilt and pain. He still missed them.
He felt tears pricking at his eyes and burring in his throat. Killing Red John hadn't helped at all. If anything, it had made it worse. The one woman who he had allowed to get close had lost her faith in him. His friends he knew would want nothing to do with him. He thought back to when Red John first entered his life. He found himself thinking about Sophie, about the ultimate price she paid for just knowing him. How many people had suffered from an association with him?
Partridge had been killed because Red John knew he was a suspect, killed so that Red John might continue to play a game with no clear winner. Panzer was killed for much the same reason as Jane's family. He had dared criticize Red John. So much death and destruction, so much pain. And he, Patrick Jane, has played right into it. How many other families had been affected because he wanted revenge?
And his family was no more here than they have been then years ago. Angela was still dead; Charlotte has still never grown up. Nothing had changes, except for him. He had frown dark and desperate. He had lived his life for one thing and one thing only. Revenge. Now that was gone and what he might have was no more. The sun was higher now, shining brighter in the sky.
He thought again to Lisbon's reaction last night and his initial reaction to his family's murder. The disappointment, despondence, and despair overwhelmed him. The feelings came upon him in such a rush that he almost didn't know what to do.
Birds were flying in the sky; they looked light and free. He was possessed with a desire to join them. He had tried once before and failed. But now he was determined to succeed. He stood up on the wall, looked out over the red sun light, spread his wings, and flew.
Rating: T
Summary: Red John is gone and the end isn't what Jane thought it would be.
Disclaimer: Not mine!
Notes: Written for the November Paint it Red Challenge "Gravity won't hold me down."
Gravity
Jane looked out at the sun coming up over the hills. Red John was dead. He should be running, he wasn't in jail, but he couldn't do it. All he could think about was the look on Lisbon's face when she came in and saw Red John on the floor, clearly dead. Pain and disappointment radiated off her. He knew that she had held out hope that he would allow Red John to live, let Red John face her visions of justice. Jane had thought he had made it clear that "justice" as she wanted would never happen. Still, the look on her face would haunt him.
He had gone back to the CBI building, not knowing where else to go, though he knew that the team would have to leave soon. He couldn't keep working here. He knew that the team would never forgive him, and as the sun got higher in the sky, he found that he was unable to move past the look on Lisbon's face and the probable disappointment of the team was over whelming. He had thought that he would feel better after Red John. He had imagined that relief would come, or that he would feel better, but he didn't. He still felt responsible for his families deaths he still felt guilt and pain. He still missed them.
He felt tears pricking at his eyes and burring in his throat. Killing Red John hadn't helped at all. If anything, it had made it worse. The one woman who he had allowed to get close had lost her faith in him. His friends he knew would want nothing to do with him. He thought back to when Red John first entered his life. He found himself thinking about Sophie, about the ultimate price she paid for just knowing him. How many people had suffered from an association with him?
Partridge had been killed because Red John knew he was a suspect, killed so that Red John might continue to play a game with no clear winner. Panzer was killed for much the same reason as Jane's family. He had dared criticize Red John. So much death and destruction, so much pain. And he, Patrick Jane, has played right into it. How many other families had been affected because he wanted revenge?
And his family was no more here than they have been then years ago. Angela was still dead; Charlotte has still never grown up. Nothing had changes, except for him. He had frown dark and desperate. He had lived his life for one thing and one thing only. Revenge. Now that was gone and what he might have was no more. The sun was higher now, shining brighter in the sky.
He thought again to Lisbon's reaction last night and his initial reaction to his family's murder. The disappointment, despondence, and despair overwhelmed him. The feelings came upon him in such a rush that he almost didn't know what to do.
Birds were flying in the sky; they looked light and free. He was possessed with a desire to join them. He had tried once before and failed. But now he was determined to succeed. He stood up on the wall, looked out over the red sun light, spread his wings, and flew.