FIC: Verbal Impotence (The Brandi Remix)
Verbal Impotence (The Brandi Remix)
The house was quiet when I got home. I figured Mary was at work, ‘cause she works late all the time, I don’t know what they do this time of night at the court house, but they must have some wild parties. When I turn on the light I almost jump.
“Mary? What the hell?”
“It’s my house, Squish; I can sit here in the dark if I want to.” She’s curled up on the couch a bottle of beer on the table in front of her. It’s mostly full.
“You’re going to give me a heart attack one of these days.” I go to sit next to her, almost changing my mind at the look she gives me, but knowing that there’s something wrong. Why else would she be sitting there in the dark?
I don’t say anything. I know my sister; she’ll tell me if she wants to. “Raph and I broke up.”
How the hell had I missed that. “When?” The shock is evident in my voice.
“A few nights ago. You’ve been with Peter, I didn’t want to interfere.”
“Since when had that stopped you?” I said with a laugh, trying to lighten her up. I knew that things with her and Raph hadn’t been going well, and I knew she’d be upset, but after a few days I thought she’d be a bit…better.
“I’m trying to become a better person.”
“Was that Raph’s idea?”
“No, mine. I’ve hurt enough people in the past few days.” I know she’s not talking about Raph. I sit next to her, pulling her into my arms like she’s done with me so many times. I may still act like an immature baby at times, but being with Peter has shown me a few things, and one of them is that even the strong need a shoulder to cry on.
I want to ask her what’s going on, who she’s hurt, but I know that will just cause her to clam up. We sit there in silence, me stroking her hair, until I almost can’t handle it any more. As if sensing the fact that I can’t hold it in any longer Mary starts to talk.
“Marshall told me he lived me tonight.” I practically shove her out of my arms to stare at her.
“What!”
“He told me the reason he always knows what I need, why he gets me, is because he loves me. That he’s loved me almost since we’ve met.”
I know my mouth is hanging open, but I can’t seem to close it. I knew that Marshall thought she was hot, but I didn’t think he loved her.
“I didn’t think it had been that long.”
“You knew?” We sit back against the couch; I guess we were both stunned by the news, though Mary had had longer to deal with it than me.
“I guessed. He’s always been highly protective of me, I figured it was kind of like a big brother or wannabe mentor at first, but the past few years something’s changed, he’s gotten more defensive of me.”
“He’s your best friend.”
“I know.” We’re silent for a few more minutes before she speaks again. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
I don’t know how to tell her that I’m the wrong person to be asking for advice, but I figure I can give it the best shot.
“Is there any way you can pretend that it he didn’t tell you?”
“I can pretend, but it’s out there, it’s been said. It’s not going to be the same.”
I can feel her pain. And I don’t know how to help her. I’ve never been able to help her the way she’s helped me.
“Do you love him?” It seems to be the logical question to ask.
“Not the way that he needs.”
Not the answer I was expecting. “But you love him.”
“I could never be who he wants me to me.” I think I know what she’s saying. Before I met Peter I was the same way. I went out with Chuck because I thought he was the best I could get. I tried to sabotage my relationship with Peter because he was too good for me. But I don’t know how to tell Mary that she can be what she thinks Marshall wants.
I almost don’t realize that she started talking again because it was so quiet. There are tears in her voice. “Squish, I don’t want to lose him.” I pull her into my arms again, I don’t really know how to do this, I’m the one who cries, not Mary. I hold her; I don’t know what she’s going to do. But if there’s one thing I know about Mary it’s that she always pulls through. I don’t know how she’ll do it, but she’ll make things ok between her and Marshall again, she has to.