apple of my buckeye
I just talked to my old roomie Sandronica Harmonica, and I was left with a hole in my heart. I just miss her. Bad. Sandra, are you reading this? I MISS YOU!!! She told me that she strung one of our old ceiling-hanging buckeyes on some dental floss and wears it around her neck, so I strung one on some thread and I am wearing it too. Now we are two peas in a pod or two eyes in a buck.
I hadn't been thinking about Oberlin much lately, but talking to Sandra also made the memories flood back. It also made me wonder whether or not I will return. I feel just pretty content in Memphis. Not super happy, not super bad. In Oberlin it was always completely one way or completely another. That, and usually, I felt completely trapped and conflicted. I feel like most of the time, I was counting down to my next break, so I could leave town. That's probably not the best way to try to live. Mostly, I was just clueless as to why I was there and what I was doing there.
I do miss so many things about that place, though. I miss my friends. I miss playing music with Claire. I miss swimming naked at night, finding special hiding places in old buildings, sledding on wax-coated boxes, watching my friends hula hoop fire, eating good food, making good bread, having dance class, sneaking into the dance studio at night to jive...oh those were some good times. There were also some bad times. Alas Alack! I just don't know.
My relationship with Oberlin-town is rather complex. Then again, my relationship with Memphis has its own complexities. I love it when my friends are around. Otherwise, this city can just feel oppressive. Driving alone. Oh! I hate it. My main problem with being here is being far away from everyone. I hate having to drive to get anywhere or to be with anybody. The University here seems fine. You can definitely get a good education there if you seek it out. So many of the professors have gone out of their ways to help me. It's just so different.
Ironically, for various reasons, academically, it might be better for me to stay at University of Memphis than to return to the presitigious Oberlin College. Who knew that would be the case?! There's just a little more flexibility with what courses I can take. The music program is a better fit for me (meaning, I can continue studying oboe and play with other people, which makes me really glad.) My teacher is the coolest lady ever. (I just hope the humanities courses are good.) Furthermore, I had such an IMPOSSIBLE TIME sitting still or concentrating on schoolwork at Oberlin when there was so much going on. Obviously, it's better much better financially to stay here too. BUT WHO KNOWS! At this point, I think I am 50-50. It could go either way. Or maybe I will transfer somewhere totally new. Texas and New Mexico are sometimes on my mind.
Sorry, livejournal community for talkin' about my first world problems. (I am borrowing that phrase from Alice, because I think it's a very fitting one to use to describe this college decision which I am so lucky to have the privilege to make!) It's just good to write these thoughts out in a public place to get them off my mind. Now I can go to sleep and have exciting, adventurous dreams rather than dreams about what I should do with myself next. Or...maybe by having exciting, adventurous dreams, I am dreaming up exactly what I should do next. ;)
In other news, the movie is chugging along. We have good people surrounding most aspects of the project. I think, I hope, I pray, that it will be what we have been imagining. When we are having problems with settings or things like that, I just wish I could say, "Oh! why let me just pull this perfect room out of my head and put it on the ground and we can shoot there!" I know we can do it...It's just gonna be some of the hardest (but most fun) work to do it right. I love the characters and the script so much, so we have got to do it some motherfucking justice.
Thanks for listening, readers. Perhaps I will come to y'all with some more interesting things rather than my petty life concerns, but in the meantime this is Katherine SIGNING OFF!
I hadn't been thinking about Oberlin much lately, but talking to Sandra also made the memories flood back. It also made me wonder whether or not I will return. I feel just pretty content in Memphis. Not super happy, not super bad. In Oberlin it was always completely one way or completely another. That, and usually, I felt completely trapped and conflicted. I feel like most of the time, I was counting down to my next break, so I could leave town. That's probably not the best way to try to live. Mostly, I was just clueless as to why I was there and what I was doing there.
I do miss so many things about that place, though. I miss my friends. I miss playing music with Claire. I miss swimming naked at night, finding special hiding places in old buildings, sledding on wax-coated boxes, watching my friends hula hoop fire, eating good food, making good bread, having dance class, sneaking into the dance studio at night to jive...oh those were some good times. There were also some bad times. Alas Alack! I just don't know.
My relationship with Oberlin-town is rather complex. Then again, my relationship with Memphis has its own complexities. I love it when my friends are around. Otherwise, this city can just feel oppressive. Driving alone. Oh! I hate it. My main problem with being here is being far away from everyone. I hate having to drive to get anywhere or to be with anybody. The University here seems fine. You can definitely get a good education there if you seek it out. So many of the professors have gone out of their ways to help me. It's just so different.
Ironically, for various reasons, academically, it might be better for me to stay at University of Memphis than to return to the presitigious Oberlin College. Who knew that would be the case?! There's just a little more flexibility with what courses I can take. The music program is a better fit for me (meaning, I can continue studying oboe and play with other people, which makes me really glad.) My teacher is the coolest lady ever. (I just hope the humanities courses are good.) Furthermore, I had such an IMPOSSIBLE TIME sitting still or concentrating on schoolwork at Oberlin when there was so much going on. Obviously, it's better much better financially to stay here too. BUT WHO KNOWS! At this point, I think I am 50-50. It could go either way. Or maybe I will transfer somewhere totally new. Texas and New Mexico are sometimes on my mind.
Sorry, livejournal community for talkin' about my first world problems. (I am borrowing that phrase from Alice, because I think it's a very fitting one to use to describe this college decision which I am so lucky to have the privilege to make!) It's just good to write these thoughts out in a public place to get them off my mind. Now I can go to sleep and have exciting, adventurous dreams rather than dreams about what I should do with myself next. Or...maybe by having exciting, adventurous dreams, I am dreaming up exactly what I should do next. ;)
In other news, the movie is chugging along. We have good people surrounding most aspects of the project. I think, I hope, I pray, that it will be what we have been imagining. When we are having problems with settings or things like that, I just wish I could say, "Oh! why let me just pull this perfect room out of my head and put it on the ground and we can shoot there!" I know we can do it...It's just gonna be some of the hardest (but most fun) work to do it right. I love the characters and the script so much, so we have got to do it some motherfucking justice.
Thanks for listening, readers. Perhaps I will come to y'all with some more interesting things rather than my petty life concerns, but in the meantime this is Katherine SIGNING OFF!