New Certs, New Capstone, New Outlook...
Life's getting more and more crazy as the weeks go by...I'm not sure if I like it or not...I guess I'll find out as the days pass...
I finally earned my SCUBA certification last month. I finally have my first post-cert dive coming up Sept 8...Mike's driving down from Sarasota and we're going to go diving in West Palm Beach...I'm dying to see a shark, which will probably put me in the minority on the boat.
I attempting to complete my capstone proposal. It's due in three weeks. I'm suffering an insanely frustrating case of writer's block. I'm freaking out about that just a tiny bit. I know what I want to do, I have most my references (three 3-in binders full, to be exact...I have papers all over the apartment), I've read enough of them that I can probably spit them back to you verbatim, yet I cannot figure out where the hell to begin on my proposal. I literally just sit at the computer and stare at the screen. If this is any sign of what writing my actual capstone is going to be like, I'm going to pull my hair out before the end of it.
I'm working out again. It's hard, because all I want to do when the day is done, after a full day of work and capstone stuff and studying, is go home and slip on some pjs and curl up in front of a DVD. But the more I make myself go, the better I feel...I really do miss working out, I love working out...it's just when you're tired to the bone (which is how I feel more and more often lately) it's the last thing you want to do. I'm definitely playing catch up...three months of bronchitus set me back a bit, but I'm catching up, slowly but surely. I'm doing yoga again as well, on a pretty regular basis. And I'm eating better. I've given up Coke (::imagines Coley reading this and spitting out her Coke and falling off her chair::)(now, let me say, I've given up Coke and am instead drinking Diet or Zero-Cal sodas, and tons of water...still, HUGE difference from before), I'm eating lots of fruits and even some veggies, I'm hooked on Whole Foods...I definitely feel better with the changes, but I still have a ways to go...
With all that going on, I've had to kind of force myself to stop on occasion, to take in what's going on around me and actually think about it. It's so easy to get lost in what's going on when it's swirling all around you. I think in the last few weeks, I've just realized that I don't have time for bullshit. Plain and simple. I'm only here for ten more months. I can spend those ten months getting sucked into all the stupid bullshit and drama that tends to proliferate down here, let it suck me down and ruin the last bit of time I have here, or I can choose to say "fuck that" and go my own way. Which is pretty much what I'm doing. My philosophy is that in the next ten months, I need to a) take care of myself...with the amount of stress that's going to come from working on and defending my capstone, if I don't take care of myself, I'm going to make myself sick, b) I need to spend what free time I do have with the right people (ie. not people who are going to stir up drama that doesn't need stirring up), and c) I need to live the next ten months to the max - actually do all the things that I want to do, experience, before I leave so I have no regrets. I don't want to look back at Florida like I looked back at Charleston and say that I could have done more, should have done more. I want to look back at Florida and say that even though there were some tough times, those were two of the best years of my life, and I lived the hell out of them. So, I don't have time for drama and bullshit. Which is good, because I have a feeling I won't miss them all that much...never really cared for drama and bullshit to begin with.
So, I imagine that's enough putting off staring at my computer screen and attempting to come up with something to put down for my proposal. I'm going to attempt to start it...which will probably end up with me saying "fuck it" and running up to the gym to put it off for another two hours, but hell, at least I'll be doing something productive.
Until later, gnight and god bless...