Stuff, feeling better and a meme
Slept better last night but it took me ages to get to sleep. Some of it was the pain though. My neck/shoulder is still bad. I ended up taking another melatonin and some ibuprofen/codeine which I don't usually take because they make a mess of my stomach but I had already taken a nexium and to take Celebrax I'd have to take anti-nausea meds and I didn't want to take them on the same day as the nexium. And the celebrax would have upset my stomach anyway and I don't have many of the Endone left so I didn't want to waste one of those if I didn't have to. Ugh.
All this reasoning was done at 3am while in pain and extremely tired.
Managed to finally fall asleep and then had to take my normal pills early today as the pain woke me after 6 hours sleep. Took them and managed another 2 hours.
I actually got half hour worth of looking at tumblr today \o/ It's been three weeks since I've been able to load it.
I've had too much stuff to do and so little time when we're not on peak time.
We have 5gig a month on peak time before we're capped. 5gig of downloads/uploads does not get you much. I can't use tumblr during the day because it eats up too much of the bandwidth. I can't download anything or upload photos to flickr, I can't load youtube vids and even on off peak I have to set them to load and come back a couple of hours later.
I really hate my internet restrictions. This is what the government refers to as metro comparable. hahahahahahahhaa! Will pays $60 and gets unlimited, unrestricted internet at a bloody good speed for Australia. We have this or dial up. Except we don't have a land line.
>_<
Anyway, ranting was yesterday.
After cleaning and being cranky and ranting we made pizza (well, Ruth did most of it. I was recovering in the arm chair reading Sherlock fic on my phone) and had the last of the bottle of wine. Wish I'd bought two but I'll get another this weekend when we go in to town for shopping.
Then we made an apple pie. The apple bit was great. The pastry was from a box. We'd bought it reduced ages ago and it was a savoury pastry mix and ended up way too salty. It's okay but not fantastic. Will make our own next time.
I read good fanfic (the Sherlock Tennis AU sequel A Study In Doubles WIP) and finished off the second to last Nightside novel by Simon R Green.
I felt a lot better by the time I went to bed.
Today was meant to be going to the tip, getting kindling, checking the Post Office and ordering wood for the weekend. Didn't happen.
We'll do it tomorrow. I did too much yesterday and it's not worth pushing.
Ruth's gone to the general store to see if they have butter as she's used it all on cooking but has just made a fruit bread.
I am so going to try making these Home Made Jaffa Cakes gluten free.
The lovely capitu tagged me in a meme so here are my answers
Rule 1 - Post the rules
Rule 2- Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and then make 11 new ones.
Rule 3- Tag 11 people and link them to your post.
Rule 4- Let them know you’ve tagged them!
1. If you were turned into a woman (or man, as the case may be) for a day, how would you spend that day?
Now a lot of this depends on if my health would be the same as that would limit a huge amount of what I could do. Lets be fancy and say my health would be good.
I'd spent a fair part of the day wanking, fucking Ruth, being fucked by Ruth. *g*
Then I'd go and do some of the jobs in the garden that could use more strength than I have. I'd sort out the wood and weed and cut the hedges and climb on the roof and clean out the gutters and the filters on the water tanks.
If my health and dodgy joints and balance were the same then I'd have to stick to the sex stuff at a reduced level. *g*
2. What is your routine any regular day?
Ahahahaa. I don't have a regular day. It depends on my pain levels, fatigue levels, balance and joint stability.
I always take pills and stretch a bit before standing up. Then I let the dogs out for a wee and go to the toilet myself. Sometimes at this point I have to lay down again, if so and if my eyes will focus I tend to catch up with my twitter.
Once I get up I fill up my water bottle and grab something to eat so my pills don't make me pass out.
After that I check my email and LJ/Dreamwidth and if it's before peak time then I check tumblr or Ravelry etc. How long I'm on the computer depends on how much pain I'm in.
At the moment the dogs have gone outside to watch the birds and lay in the sun so we let the cats out into the lounge room for a while until Pip is an arse and wants to come back in.
I usually forget about lunch until I need to grab something quick or we make dinner early. Depends if we have muffins or bread or something made up.
Some times I'll have the energy to wash up or go out into the garden to do something small or take photos.
Sometimes I'll have to go and lay down again for a while.
Sometime in the afternoon we have to go out the back and get wood up from the wood tank to the ramp near the back door. Then usually Ruth lights the fire. Sometimes this is around 4 or 5, sometimes it's around 1 if it's particularly cold.
Once the fire is lit and I can't sit at the computer any more I'll move to the arm chair and we'll watch something we've downloaded. Sometimes it's something new, a lot of the time it's watching something old because it's familiar. I'll usually spin or embroider or felt etc while watching.
Then we make dinner. Depending on health and the state of the kitchen it could be something a bit labour intensive or reheating something we had the night before or something we'd frozen.
No matter what I spend most of the day with a heat pack on me, behind my lower back or on my neck or shoulder or my stomach once the period pain hits. I use the microwave 8-10 times a day just heating up the heat pack. Makes things more bearable.
At the moment at some point between 11 and midnight we start to get ready for bed. One of us will feed the pets, I'll rinse my sinus out using boiled and cooled water, salt and bicarb, I'll brush my teeth, take my pills, turn the electric blankets on then let the dogs out for a wee. Eventually they'll come back in and we'll give them a liver treat (so much more exciting than the whole bowl of food they just ate) and then go to the loo again myself.
Then we'll read till we can sleep. Once I've put down my phone and turned off the light etc I'll lay there for over an hour before I actually fall asleep. Usually I'm in pain no matter where I lay and it takes a lot of moving about and stretching to get comfortable enough that it's not keeping me awake. Sometimes I need to take more pills, sometimes I need to get up and get an ice pack or a heat pack.
Exciting day isn't it?
Sometimes this is all too much for me and I barely get out of bed all day. Sometimes I spend the day almost passing out. Sometimes we have to go shopping though it's about once a fortnight at the moment. Sometimes I'm not able to do the reading/computer/craft stuff because my eyes wont focus or I'm in too much pain, have too much brain fog or I have a migraine. Then I usually listen to radio comedy shows or put something on the telly I know well enough to not have to watch.
Sometimes I'll have a shower but that depends if my blood pressure is high enough that standing for that long and in hot water wont make me pass out. If my shoulder is in good enough shape to be able to get my arm up to wash my hair, if my pain and fatigue are good enough for me to stand and do stuff for that long. If my balance isn't so bad that I'll fall over when I shut my eyes.
So yeah. Doesn't happen often enough. Thankfully I don't tend to smell a lot.
3. Who's been the most influential person to you?
Oh wow. I don't know. In a not good way then my dad and various doctors. They've shaped my whole rotten self esteem. They have influenced the way I spend my whole life.
Feelings that I'm not good enough, that I'm not really sick and should therefore push through even though I know it causes me damage, that I should never go to the doctor unless I really, really need to, that I don't deserve to be able to ask for things I need because they may take away my meds or disability allowance. That I should feel guilty and like a failure for not having a job.
4. What are you most afraid of?
People (and pets) I love dying, following behind people I love while driving, the fact that if they had an accident I could do nothing but watch it happen, of getting sicker, of cancer, of driving and making a mistake or the car fucking up or someone else doing something I can't avoid and causing a crash and killing people I love in the car with me. Of talking on the phone. Of talking to strangers.
5. & 6. What's your favourite quote and why? (two in one!)
I have no idea. None that I can remember. I really like the words and message from the Melissa Etheridge song Don't Look At Me
You can try, I don't care
Forcing circles into squares
You can spend precious time
Marching in your perfect line
But I don't hear that drum
I'm looking for something else
And if you don't like what you see
You don't have to look at me
If you don't like what I say
You can turn the other way
If you don't like what you see
Then don't look at me
Add it up, count me out
I'm taking a different route
I did not mean to offend
Before I broke I chose to bend
So I'll be on my way
I have nothing left to say
But if you don't like what you see
You don't have to look at me
If you don't like what I say
You can turn the other way
If you don't like what you see
Then don't look at me
Don't look at me
Don't look at me
Oh if you don't like what you see
You don't have to look at me
Hmmm
If you don't, if you don't, if you don't, if you don't like what you see
Then you don't have to look at me
Oh you don't have to look at me
Oh if you don't like, if you don't like, if you don't like
Then you don't have to look at me
7. If you were granted one wish (and one only) what would you wish for?
Oh god. Ummm For Ruth's anxiety and depression to be fixed? If it had to be for myself then I'd wish for good health. Nothing is more important than that.
8. If your house were on fire and you could only save one thing, what would it be? (Yes, bearing in mind everybody you love is safe and blah, blah, blah.)
Given that pets were safe, Box of photos and external hard drives. I really can't think about this though without causing a panic attack.
9. What's are you most proud of?
That I'm still going and doing some of the stuff I want in life. That I seem to have dealt with all this shit without getting bitter and twisted? That I have a lot of empathy for people and can see things from most other people's point of view. Basically that I'm not a dickhead to others.
10. What is your guilty pleasure?
Not sure. I read and draw porn but I don't feel guilty about that. Probably food stuff. I feel guilty about eating chocolate or cheese and yet I still do it and enjoy it. There are many, many things I feel guilty about but they aren't pleasurable at all.
11. What is something you want to do but haven't done yet?
Oh so many things. Have stuff in an exhibition. Sell stuff for a price that makes the work worth it. Go visit family and friends in this country and over seas. Travel around Britain (I want to enjoy London but also go to wild places in Wales and Scotland and Devon and Cornwall). Live a day without fear. A day without pain. Go scuba diving. Enjoy being able to afford things without having to juggle the budget to just do something simple like buy a cup of coffee.
Those are the questions Capitu added. I'd like to fill in the other ones she answered too but as I'm rather long winded I'll do that in another post tomorrow. I've also spent too much time in this chair and need to get the wood in before it gets dark.
All this reasoning was done at 3am while in pain and extremely tired.
Managed to finally fall asleep and then had to take my normal pills early today as the pain woke me after 6 hours sleep. Took them and managed another 2 hours.
I actually got half hour worth of looking at tumblr today \o/ It's been three weeks since I've been able to load it.
I've had too much stuff to do and so little time when we're not on peak time.
We have 5gig a month on peak time before we're capped. 5gig of downloads/uploads does not get you much. I can't use tumblr during the day because it eats up too much of the bandwidth. I can't download anything or upload photos to flickr, I can't load youtube vids and even on off peak I have to set them to load and come back a couple of hours later.
I really hate my internet restrictions. This is what the government refers to as metro comparable. hahahahahahahhaa! Will pays $60 and gets unlimited, unrestricted internet at a bloody good speed for Australia. We have this or dial up. Except we don't have a land line.
>_<
Anyway, ranting was yesterday.
After cleaning and being cranky and ranting we made pizza (well, Ruth did most of it. I was recovering in the arm chair reading Sherlock fic on my phone) and had the last of the bottle of wine. Wish I'd bought two but I'll get another this weekend when we go in to town for shopping.
Then we made an apple pie. The apple bit was great. The pastry was from a box. We'd bought it reduced ages ago and it was a savoury pastry mix and ended up way too salty. It's okay but not fantastic. Will make our own next time.
I read good fanfic (the Sherlock Tennis AU sequel A Study In Doubles WIP) and finished off the second to last Nightside novel by Simon R Green.
I felt a lot better by the time I went to bed.
Today was meant to be going to the tip, getting kindling, checking the Post Office and ordering wood for the weekend. Didn't happen.
We'll do it tomorrow. I did too much yesterday and it's not worth pushing.
Ruth's gone to the general store to see if they have butter as she's used it all on cooking but has just made a fruit bread.
I am so going to try making these Home Made Jaffa Cakes gluten free.
The lovely capitu tagged me in a meme so here are my answers
Rule 1 - Post the rules
Rule 2- Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post and then make 11 new ones.
Rule 3- Tag 11 people and link them to your post.
Rule 4- Let them know you’ve tagged them!
1. If you were turned into a woman (or man, as the case may be) for a day, how would you spend that day?
Now a lot of this depends on if my health would be the same as that would limit a huge amount of what I could do. Lets be fancy and say my health would be good.
I'd spent a fair part of the day wanking, fucking Ruth, being fucked by Ruth. *g*
Then I'd go and do some of the jobs in the garden that could use more strength than I have. I'd sort out the wood and weed and cut the hedges and climb on the roof and clean out the gutters and the filters on the water tanks.
If my health and dodgy joints and balance were the same then I'd have to stick to the sex stuff at a reduced level. *g*
2. What is your routine any regular day?
Ahahahaa. I don't have a regular day. It depends on my pain levels, fatigue levels, balance and joint stability.
I always take pills and stretch a bit before standing up. Then I let the dogs out for a wee and go to the toilet myself. Sometimes at this point I have to lay down again, if so and if my eyes will focus I tend to catch up with my twitter.
Once I get up I fill up my water bottle and grab something to eat so my pills don't make me pass out.
After that I check my email and LJ/Dreamwidth and if it's before peak time then I check tumblr or Ravelry etc. How long I'm on the computer depends on how much pain I'm in.
At the moment the dogs have gone outside to watch the birds and lay in the sun so we let the cats out into the lounge room for a while until Pip is an arse and wants to come back in.
I usually forget about lunch until I need to grab something quick or we make dinner early. Depends if we have muffins or bread or something made up.
Some times I'll have the energy to wash up or go out into the garden to do something small or take photos.
Sometimes I'll have to go and lay down again for a while.
Sometime in the afternoon we have to go out the back and get wood up from the wood tank to the ramp near the back door. Then usually Ruth lights the fire. Sometimes this is around 4 or 5, sometimes it's around 1 if it's particularly cold.
Once the fire is lit and I can't sit at the computer any more I'll move to the arm chair and we'll watch something we've downloaded. Sometimes it's something new, a lot of the time it's watching something old because it's familiar. I'll usually spin or embroider or felt etc while watching.
Then we make dinner. Depending on health and the state of the kitchen it could be something a bit labour intensive or reheating something we had the night before or something we'd frozen.
No matter what I spend most of the day with a heat pack on me, behind my lower back or on my neck or shoulder or my stomach once the period pain hits. I use the microwave 8-10 times a day just heating up the heat pack. Makes things more bearable.
At the moment at some point between 11 and midnight we start to get ready for bed. One of us will feed the pets, I'll rinse my sinus out using boiled and cooled water, salt and bicarb, I'll brush my teeth, take my pills, turn the electric blankets on then let the dogs out for a wee. Eventually they'll come back in and we'll give them a liver treat (so much more exciting than the whole bowl of food they just ate) and then go to the loo again myself.
Then we'll read till we can sleep. Once I've put down my phone and turned off the light etc I'll lay there for over an hour before I actually fall asleep. Usually I'm in pain no matter where I lay and it takes a lot of moving about and stretching to get comfortable enough that it's not keeping me awake. Sometimes I need to take more pills, sometimes I need to get up and get an ice pack or a heat pack.
Exciting day isn't it?
Sometimes this is all too much for me and I barely get out of bed all day. Sometimes I spend the day almost passing out. Sometimes we have to go shopping though it's about once a fortnight at the moment. Sometimes I'm not able to do the reading/computer/craft stuff because my eyes wont focus or I'm in too much pain, have too much brain fog or I have a migraine. Then I usually listen to radio comedy shows or put something on the telly I know well enough to not have to watch.
Sometimes I'll have a shower but that depends if my blood pressure is high enough that standing for that long and in hot water wont make me pass out. If my shoulder is in good enough shape to be able to get my arm up to wash my hair, if my pain and fatigue are good enough for me to stand and do stuff for that long. If my balance isn't so bad that I'll fall over when I shut my eyes.
So yeah. Doesn't happen often enough. Thankfully I don't tend to smell a lot.
3. Who's been the most influential person to you?
Oh wow. I don't know. In a not good way then my dad and various doctors. They've shaped my whole rotten self esteem. They have influenced the way I spend my whole life.
Feelings that I'm not good enough, that I'm not really sick and should therefore push through even though I know it causes me damage, that I should never go to the doctor unless I really, really need to, that I don't deserve to be able to ask for things I need because they may take away my meds or disability allowance. That I should feel guilty and like a failure for not having a job.
4. What are you most afraid of?
People (and pets) I love dying, following behind people I love while driving, the fact that if they had an accident I could do nothing but watch it happen, of getting sicker, of cancer, of driving and making a mistake or the car fucking up or someone else doing something I can't avoid and causing a crash and killing people I love in the car with me. Of talking on the phone. Of talking to strangers.
5. & 6. What's your favourite quote and why? (two in one!)
I have no idea. None that I can remember. I really like the words and message from the Melissa Etheridge song Don't Look At Me
You can try, I don't care
Forcing circles into squares
You can spend precious time
Marching in your perfect line
But I don't hear that drum
I'm looking for something else
And if you don't like what you see
You don't have to look at me
If you don't like what I say
You can turn the other way
If you don't like what you see
Then don't look at me
Add it up, count me out
I'm taking a different route
I did not mean to offend
Before I broke I chose to bend
So I'll be on my way
I have nothing left to say
But if you don't like what you see
You don't have to look at me
If you don't like what I say
You can turn the other way
If you don't like what you see
Then don't look at me
Don't look at me
Don't look at me
Oh if you don't like what you see
You don't have to look at me
Hmmm
If you don't, if you don't, if you don't, if you don't like what you see
Then you don't have to look at me
Oh you don't have to look at me
Oh if you don't like, if you don't like, if you don't like
Then you don't have to look at me
7. If you were granted one wish (and one only) what would you wish for?
Oh god. Ummm For Ruth's anxiety and depression to be fixed? If it had to be for myself then I'd wish for good health. Nothing is more important than that.
8. If your house were on fire and you could only save one thing, what would it be? (Yes, bearing in mind everybody you love is safe and blah, blah, blah.)
Given that pets were safe, Box of photos and external hard drives. I really can't think about this though without causing a panic attack.
9. What's are you most proud of?
That I'm still going and doing some of the stuff I want in life. That I seem to have dealt with all this shit without getting bitter and twisted? That I have a lot of empathy for people and can see things from most other people's point of view. Basically that I'm not a dickhead to others.
10. What is your guilty pleasure?
Not sure. I read and draw porn but I don't feel guilty about that. Probably food stuff. I feel guilty about eating chocolate or cheese and yet I still do it and enjoy it. There are many, many things I feel guilty about but they aren't pleasurable at all.
11. What is something you want to do but haven't done yet?
Oh so many things. Have stuff in an exhibition. Sell stuff for a price that makes the work worth it. Go visit family and friends in this country and over seas. Travel around Britain (I want to enjoy London but also go to wild places in Wales and Scotland and Devon and Cornwall). Live a day without fear. A day without pain. Go scuba diving. Enjoy being able to afford things without having to juggle the budget to just do something simple like buy a cup of coffee.
Those are the questions Capitu added. I'd like to fill in the other ones she answered too but as I'm rather long winded I'll do that in another post tomorrow. I've also spent too much time in this chair and need to get the wood in before it gets dark.