Just showin' my roots, y'all.
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.
Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."
Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in:"Going to town, be back directly."
Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table.
All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin.
Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines,... and when we're "in line," We talk to everybody!
In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and
that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it --"Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart"
.... and go your own way.
To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me
in the morning. Bless your heart!
And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads
"I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could"
1. You can name everyone in your school.
2. You know what 4-H is.
3. You ever went to a party that was held about 20 miles down a deserted dirt road.
4. You used to drag "main."
5. You said the 'F' word and your parents knew within an hour.
6. You schedule parties around the schedule of
different police officers since you know which ones would bust you.
7. You ever went or thought about going cow-tipping.
8. School gets canceled for a sports team going to State
9. You could never buy cigarettes cause all the store clerks knew how old you were.
10. When you did find someone old enough to buy smokes for you, you had to drive down country backroads to smoke them.
11. You never missed a Homecoming parade.
12. You still go home for Homecoming.
13. It was cool to date someone from a neighboring town.
14. You had a senior skip day.
15. The whole school went to the same party after graduation.
16. You can't help but date a friend's ex.
17. Your car is always filthy from the dirt
backroads.
18. You think that kids who ride skateboards are
weird.
19. The town next to you is considered "trashy" or "snotty" when it is just like your town.
20. Getting paid minimum wage is considered a raise.
21. You refer to anyone with a house newer than 1980 as the "rich people."
22. The people in the big city dress funny then you pick up on the cool new trend two years later.
23. You bragged to your friends because you got pipes on your truck for your birthday.
24. On Fridays, anyone you want to find can be
found at Main Street or the local restaurants.
25. Weekend excitement involves a trip to Target.
26. Even the ugly people enter beauty contests.
27. You decide to walk for exercise and 5 people pull over and ask you if you need a ride.
28. Your teachers call you by your older sibling's name.
29. The closest "cool stores" are at least 45 miles away.
30. Everyone from your school worked at the same place.
31. You've 'TP'ed your entire class-and your teachers.
Omg, that last one is almost terrifyingly accurate for the small town I grew up in. Except the weekend trip was Wal-Mart not Target and yes, I still get excited about going. XD