(no subject)
It's been a long time since I've posted. Lately I feel like I am losing control over my life even though so much of it has been going in the right direction forward. The problem is my weight and my eating as its been out of control, I want to be healthy and I want to be confident and I want to look good and feel good and I don't know how to get there.
Last night my "boyfriend" as in the man who claims to love me, we had a huge fight. He said awful directly dirty things about me physically, not just my weight but Things I have no control over. He said I was less than a person than he was and being with me was him constantly settling for less than he deserves. Honestly, I can't decide if he feels that way in his soul or if he is projecting his insecurity. But I felt like I lost control and I self-harmed for the first time in almost 8 years. Light superficial cuts. But I don't know how to really keep myself from having these deep urges to cut myself. I've been thinking about them for months and months.
Is my relationship really as unhealthy as I feel like it is.
Last night my "boyfriend" as in the man who claims to love me, we had a huge fight. He said awful directly dirty things about me physically, not just my weight but Things I have no control over. He said I was less than a person than he was and being with me was him constantly settling for less than he deserves. Honestly, I can't decide if he feels that way in his soul or if he is projecting his insecurity. But I felt like I lost control and I self-harmed for the first time in almost 8 years. Light superficial cuts. But I don't know how to really keep myself from having these deep urges to cut myself. I've been thinking about them for months and months.
Is my relationship really as unhealthy as I feel like it is.