Group Guilt of Women?
I read a post today in which a woman (I have no idea what age--I suspect younger) states she had a terrible experience. She told him 'no' and he did what he wanted any way. Her biggest overriding emotion was guilt. Not personal guilt, but guilt that she let womenkind down and signaled his actions were OK by not fighting harder. I was a taken aback, and horrified that this type of guilt should even be in the picture, or that she should think she's sending any signal of the kind. She shouldn't feel she didn't fight hard enough- realistically most women are not strong enough to fight off a man--especially an adrenalin & possibly drug infused one. She shouldn't feel guilty, dirty or shamed because of the actions of her assailant--it isn't her fault, and she certainly should not be feeling this guilt towards womanhood. If anything, that alarmed me even more.
Sadly this isn't the first time I've heard women say they feel like they've let women down, they feel guilty. Women who didn't try harder for that promotion, women who were stay at home Mom's, women whose very life they feel guilty about because their Mother's would have had more opportunities had they not been born.
Where and when have we been taught and taken on this societal group think guilt trip? Isn't this supposed to be an enlightened and progressive age? This isn't enlightened, it doesn't relieve women of guilt or shame, it compounds the weight. It's unhealthy and destructive.
The person who responded to her, pointed out, rightfully, that she shouldn't feel guilt about what happened to her, nor that she let women down, but instead of expanding on that, went on to say she was so sorry the world's attitudes towards women's actions hurt her further. That women are conditioned to be nice, not to be violent, and to fear violence from men, women are taught to never fight back, ever. Ever! It was Okay, necessary and right--she deserved it ....Wow. Now that is archaic thinking. Destructive, harmful thinking. No matter how this group think tries to encourage women not to feel guilty, or that they deserve to be treated as such, by continuing to promote this as the 'world's attitudes', they continue to hold themselves and women in bondage to that very attitude--whether, on the whole, it exists or not. With added portions of guilt for letting women down.
I know I'll probably get slaughtered for this, but I feel so bad for her and appalled that in addition to all the emotions to deal with from being assaulted, she learned to feel guilty towards women--even if that's not the intent.
Sadly this isn't the first time I've heard women say they feel like they've let women down, they feel guilty. Women who didn't try harder for that promotion, women who were stay at home Mom's, women whose very life they feel guilty about because their Mother's would have had more opportunities had they not been born.
Where and when have we been taught and taken on this societal group think guilt trip? Isn't this supposed to be an enlightened and progressive age? This isn't enlightened, it doesn't relieve women of guilt or shame, it compounds the weight. It's unhealthy and destructive.
The person who responded to her, pointed out, rightfully, that she shouldn't feel guilt about what happened to her, nor that she let women down, but instead of expanding on that, went on to say she was so sorry the world's attitudes towards women's actions hurt her further. That women are conditioned to be nice, not to be violent, and to fear violence from men, women are taught to never fight back, ever. Ever! It was Okay, necessary and right--she deserved it ....Wow. Now that is archaic thinking. Destructive, harmful thinking. No matter how this group think tries to encourage women not to feel guilty, or that they deserve to be treated as such, by continuing to promote this as the 'world's attitudes', they continue to hold themselves and women in bondage to that very attitude--whether, on the whole, it exists or not. With added portions of guilt for letting women down.
I know I'll probably get slaughtered for this, but I feel so bad for her and appalled that in addition to all the emotions to deal with from being assaulted, she learned to feel guilty towards women--even if that's not the intent.