Jan 04, 2012 19:41
I'm the Mom of boys--all boys, three of them and no girls. Like nearly every woman out there I wanted a daughter. I was fine with the first boy, I never knew it was possible to love so completely until I held him. Two years later I was pregnant again---and had another boy---who remained nameless for 3 or 4 days because we had been sure he was a she and never considered a boy name just in case. And the name we chose was not interchangeable. Nevertheless I was in love with my baby boys. Now I never resented the fact they were boys, or wished they were girls, but I was jealous of all my friends having girls. It was more the not having than what I had. So along came #3.
By this time ultrasounds were out there, but not standard practice. Since I got really big, really fast, and we picked up two heartbeats fooling around at work one night (we had been talking about how big I was already, and was I sure I wasn't having twins?, so we went over to OB one night and checked heartbeats), my doctor ordered an ultrasound, which picked up a large frontal placenta and a baby boy sort of curved up towards the top .... no second baby, but you're really big, there are two heart beats and why is that baby transverse up there? But I digress, the point being -- a baby boy. A wonderful woman I worked with said, now it takes a special woman to be the Mother of all boys. Yeah, yeah I thought, spoken from someone with a daughter.
Now we lived in a neighborhood of young families. Little boys and girls (mostly boys) everywhere, 4,5,6 and 7 year olds. Same ages as mine. I had 5/6 and 3/4. There was Jessica across the street , the same age as my oldest. They were in kindergarten , Sunday School together and neighbors. Jessie was a girlie-girl. Pretty shirts, sequins and embroidered jeans, pony tails with ribbons that were rarely falling apart. Then there was Shannon down the block a little. She was my second sons' BFF--and a little tomboy. Her jeans were coveralls and t-shirts, that were often filthy by the end of the day. She had pony tails , too, out of necessity (to keep her hair out of the way) and maybe a little defiance on her Mother's part. They were usually half falling out, with the pony tail holder sort of hanging on strands of hair.
While expecting #3 , I baby sat Jessie for a few hours. one afternoon.....sigh... she wanted to play dolls, fix her hair, play with mine., paint my nails, paint hers....Another day I watched Shannon, who was happy to be outside in the sand box, but was just enough girl to want to do something girlie with me..
I realized, God knew what He was doing giving me boys, I was much better suited for their raw energy. I don't think I have wished I had a daughter since After all, at their age my best friends were Joey and Manny (and Kelly, but her BFF's were the three of us). We lived and played in the mountains in New Mexico and collected lizards, rode our bikes, hiked in the woods, played cowboys and indians, played in the dirt with our cars and trucks (I was really envious of the neighbor boys Tonka dumptruck).....I had Barbie's and a doll house (those are the things I remember). I just dressed Barbie up and rearranged the furniture now and then if I couldn't be out and play. Rarely played any games or role play with them. I think I had a GI Joe, too that I liked better.
Now as I grew older I gave some of those up (natural progression, I was never pressured), I never developed any great interest in sports, or cars (although I can appreciate them), I don't find discussions on engines (I have no idea what a 'hemi' is, but I'm a wise enough female to feign being impressed because the men in my life get all sorts of excited at the concept and I love them so I make the effort to be interested & I appreciate when they take 'interest' in my cross-stitch projects, or that pretty shirt I found ) fascinating . I will not touch anything remotely reptilian, I have a collection of porcelain Victorian dolls, I like pretty jewelry & I can dress up with the best(my favorite clothes though, are my jogging suits). So yes I do possess the 'XX' chromosome (except shopping). But I enjoyed the raw rough and tumble energy of boys. I preferred roughhousing and wrestling with my boys to arts &and crafts and fixing hair and nails. Although I enjoy cross-stitch and love reading, to this day I prefer activities that are more....active .
This was brought back this evening, while at a home appointment with a young woman with three kids, 5,3 and 2 months. Two boys and a baby girl. Her 5 year old son was outgoing, energetic, curious and talkative--- a normal boy---I was absolutely taken with him. As I left I realized again how fortunate and blessed I had been in having boys, how much I truly enjoyed the whole boy thing. I have been blessed with and immensely enjoy two granddaughters, but I really wasn't cut out to be the Mom of daughters.
trucks,
daughters,
dolls,
life,
mother,
sons