Venting!
I got really annoyed with John yesterday so I wrote him a very pissed off email and he never responded so I guess we are done trying to be friends.
I was just so sick of him getting everything his way...we broke up and he still was getting to talk to me or see me when he felt like it. But when I wanted to hang out he was always tired or not in the mood. The last thing we did together was go to a Yankee game..tickets that I found for us and that was over a month ago. Mind you I have no problems being friends with him if that's truly what we are....but I don't consider a friend to be somebody that only sees you when it's convenient for them. He has promised me for years to take me to a Bridgeport Bluefish game and then he goes and takes his father...which is fine...but do you need to call me and tell me how much fun it was? And then I go to work and his father (yes i work with his father) tells me the whole story about their trip to the game all over again. I don't need to hear this shit...I don't call you and tell you how much fun I'm having without you. I let it go but then last night he calls me and I'm thinking it's to maybe see how my father is doing because he is getting a biopsy done on Monday...another story I'll explain later. Or I'm thinking maybe he wants to hang out soon. But instead he asks how I'm doing quickly and about my father quickly then asks if I've ever used stubhub.com to buy Yankee tickets because he wants to take his father. John NEVER looked for tickets for us...I always had to do it...not once did he ever just be the man and get the tickets and surprise me. His obsession with his father really gets to me...it's one thing to be close...it's another to hang out with him constantly and have no friends and no girlfriend because of it. His father knows nothing about baseball and I honestly feel like his dad is trying to take my place. I know that sounds sick but they are a weird family. He used to always say "you stole my son away, I never see him anymore" blah blah. He has another son who is 17, start bonding with him ...the poor kid has to constantly hear about how great his older brother is.
I guess if John had said something about us hanging out soon too then it wouldn't have bothered me. But he didn't bring it up at all .....just keeps saying oh we'll see a bluefish game before the season is over. Gee thanks for the date so I can plan. When we broke up he said we'd still do a lot of the things we used to do and would have fun over the summer. So I wrote him an email to stop making broken promises, to stop pretending to be my friend cause I have plenty and don't need fake ones, and to stop talking to me about his baseball outings with daddy because that was our thing and I don't need to hear about it. I also told him that I don't NEED him in my life and that I've moved on and have plenty of friends that make an effort to see me. I told him that I think his so called friendship is out of pity and I don't need anyone feeling sorry for me. I told him our friendship seemed really forced and awkward and all I wanted was to hang out and be cool ...I wasn't trying to get him back. His parents would constantly tell him not to hang out with me and that it wasn't a good idea, where my family was inviting him to family functions still. When we went to the game last month we stopped by my grandparents house to say hi and they welcomed him...they still like him. My family thought it was cool that we were still friends...of course they asked if I was ok about it but they never forbid it.
So I told him to stop the phone calls and the constant text messages because if we aren't going to hang out then I don't need to talk to you either. I said we can talk when something serious happens in our lives but I don't need texts when you see something funny on tv or want to talk about the Yankees. Fuck that. You want to be friends like that then make an effort to fucking see me. I guess my email was too harsh because usually he would have mentioned it by now.
So although I know I needed to speak up about it...I also feel horrible because that's me....I can't be a bitch without feeling like shit afterwards. I don't want to never talk to him again....but at the same time he constantly lets me down. I feel like I should have waited a day to write to him...I should have cooled down because things I said were out of frustration and if I thought it through I could have been a tad nicer. He does check on me and my family to see how we are and in the email I made it sound like he doesn't give a shit. I know that had to piss him off. Guess that was my goodbye letter.
As for my father he has a lump between his throat and nose the size of a grape and the doctors in Bermuda sent him to a specialist in Boston this weekend. He is getting the biopsy in the morning, flying back to Bermuda on Tuesday then he has to wait 5 days for the test results. No matter what it is he needs surgery so he'll back in Boston for that soon. I hope it's just a cyst and nothing serious. He is also leaving Bermuda for a while for other reasons. There was a lot of drama there recently and he needs to get away for a while. He's going to try and work from CT and just fly to Bermuda for meetings. I'm not really sure what his plans are yet but he was supposed to get married in Bermuda in November and now he'll be doing that over here somewhere. There is always some sort of drama in this family I swear.
My mom leaves for Florida in 5 hours...she'll be gone for a week! I have a wedding to go to on Friday though else I'd have a little get together and I dont want to do it on Saturday because she comes back Sunday and I need clean up time. Maybe I'll just have a few people over during the week for something low key. Possibly Tuesday or Wednesday. We'll see what happens.
I have 4 days left of Pizza land and seeing John's damn father everyday. Thank you God!
I was just so sick of him getting everything his way...we broke up and he still was getting to talk to me or see me when he felt like it. But when I wanted to hang out he was always tired or not in the mood. The last thing we did together was go to a Yankee game..tickets that I found for us and that was over a month ago. Mind you I have no problems being friends with him if that's truly what we are....but I don't consider a friend to be somebody that only sees you when it's convenient for them. He has promised me for years to take me to a Bridgeport Bluefish game and then he goes and takes his father...which is fine...but do you need to call me and tell me how much fun it was? And then I go to work and his father (yes i work with his father) tells me the whole story about their trip to the game all over again. I don't need to hear this shit...I don't call you and tell you how much fun I'm having without you. I let it go but then last night he calls me and I'm thinking it's to maybe see how my father is doing because he is getting a biopsy done on Monday...another story I'll explain later. Or I'm thinking maybe he wants to hang out soon. But instead he asks how I'm doing quickly and about my father quickly then asks if I've ever used stubhub.com to buy Yankee tickets because he wants to take his father. John NEVER looked for tickets for us...I always had to do it...not once did he ever just be the man and get the tickets and surprise me. His obsession with his father really gets to me...it's one thing to be close...it's another to hang out with him constantly and have no friends and no girlfriend because of it. His father knows nothing about baseball and I honestly feel like his dad is trying to take my place. I know that sounds sick but they are a weird family. He used to always say "you stole my son away, I never see him anymore" blah blah. He has another son who is 17, start bonding with him ...the poor kid has to constantly hear about how great his older brother is.
I guess if John had said something about us hanging out soon too then it wouldn't have bothered me. But he didn't bring it up at all .....just keeps saying oh we'll see a bluefish game before the season is over. Gee thanks for the date so I can plan. When we broke up he said we'd still do a lot of the things we used to do and would have fun over the summer. So I wrote him an email to stop making broken promises, to stop pretending to be my friend cause I have plenty and don't need fake ones, and to stop talking to me about his baseball outings with daddy because that was our thing and I don't need to hear about it. I also told him that I don't NEED him in my life and that I've moved on and have plenty of friends that make an effort to see me. I told him that I think his so called friendship is out of pity and I don't need anyone feeling sorry for me. I told him our friendship seemed really forced and awkward and all I wanted was to hang out and be cool ...I wasn't trying to get him back. His parents would constantly tell him not to hang out with me and that it wasn't a good idea, where my family was inviting him to family functions still. When we went to the game last month we stopped by my grandparents house to say hi and they welcomed him...they still like him. My family thought it was cool that we were still friends...of course they asked if I was ok about it but they never forbid it.
So I told him to stop the phone calls and the constant text messages because if we aren't going to hang out then I don't need to talk to you either. I said we can talk when something serious happens in our lives but I don't need texts when you see something funny on tv or want to talk about the Yankees. Fuck that. You want to be friends like that then make an effort to fucking see me. I guess my email was too harsh because usually he would have mentioned it by now.
So although I know I needed to speak up about it...I also feel horrible because that's me....I can't be a bitch without feeling like shit afterwards. I don't want to never talk to him again....but at the same time he constantly lets me down. I feel like I should have waited a day to write to him...I should have cooled down because things I said were out of frustration and if I thought it through I could have been a tad nicer. He does check on me and my family to see how we are and in the email I made it sound like he doesn't give a shit. I know that had to piss him off. Guess that was my goodbye letter.
As for my father he has a lump between his throat and nose the size of a grape and the doctors in Bermuda sent him to a specialist in Boston this weekend. He is getting the biopsy in the morning, flying back to Bermuda on Tuesday then he has to wait 5 days for the test results. No matter what it is he needs surgery so he'll back in Boston for that soon. I hope it's just a cyst and nothing serious. He is also leaving Bermuda for a while for other reasons. There was a lot of drama there recently and he needs to get away for a while. He's going to try and work from CT and just fly to Bermuda for meetings. I'm not really sure what his plans are yet but he was supposed to get married in Bermuda in November and now he'll be doing that over here somewhere. There is always some sort of drama in this family I swear.
My mom leaves for Florida in 5 hours...she'll be gone for a week! I have a wedding to go to on Friday though else I'd have a little get together and I dont want to do it on Saturday because she comes back Sunday and I need clean up time. Maybe I'll just have a few people over during the week for something low key. Possibly Tuesday or Wednesday. We'll see what happens.
I have 4 days left of Pizza land and seeing John's damn father everyday. Thank you God!