missing you babe, i never sleep
i....want to sleep so badly. but somehow i can't seem to just lay down in my bed and sleep. i've always been envious of people who have that ability, you know the ones who fall asleep as soon as they hit the pillow. oh well, i get some really good thinking done in the wee hours. and i drink a lot of zazz. yesterday i got through being grounded, which, thank god didn't require much talking on my part or i would have killed my parents.i just redecorated my room and sat on my ass while all my friends went to adam's and did what i wanted to do. but today i got a whole freaking chapter done in the us history book thing. and some questions too. so i felt fairly productive. i had practice at mhs, and i realized how much i missed soccer, not necessarily being bossed around by my crazy little coach man who wears elf shoes, but i love just being out there and having people watch me do things, coolthings that they wish they could do. my team split into the skanky flirtly annoying people and then the calm people who are awesome. of course i am the only chser but they find ways to include me, like by saying how many people get shot at your school. yes, i feel so loved. there are a few cool people though. i went over to leighs that night and we watched the outback jack finale. yesss natalie won! and then we went to fry's spring and swam a bit, but got scared of getting caught. maybe we'll skinny dip whenwe're at hannah's, who knows. but things got a bit sexual back at her house. we get bored pretty easily and always end up playing spin the bottle or truth or dare, just cause we can, and we're comfortable with each other like that. thats why i love us. then things got a bit frisky with the non coupley people. later on devin said some nice stuff online, about how he was ready to live in the moment and such, which i guess means he's done questioning everything and overthinking anything we do. so let the gates open and the water surge through. (sexual reference?) and now i think im going to try and sleep again, probably fail some more and just read sloppy firsts for the 5th time until i see the light peering over the trees in which case i will fall back into my pillowy lair with utter exhaustion only to awaken at 9 to try and get my sleeping schedule back on. oh and one more thing, WHERE IS MY DAMN SCHOOL SCHEDULE, i wantttt itttt.