Three down, two to go
I've never been to as many weddings in a year as this year: two of Jon's relatives got engaged and this will be the year that half of the hens got married (including moi of course). They are all very different weddings: this past weekend was the Long Island Sikh wedding of an only child whose father made and filtered her dating profile for her (which is not how she met the groom). I've been to maybe a dozen weddings in the past two decades, but I look at them differently now, possibly bc I've planned one. Also, maybe it's the pregnancy hormones, but they are more exciting now, because each one reminds me of the awesome day when my husband promised to take care of me for the rest of our lives.
Fri night was the sangeet at a luxury beach hotel, an event where the friends and families entertain the weekend's deities. Two of the other hens are also Indian, so they created a dance for us to perform at the sangeet. I missed the first rehearsal, because we were in Boston, and then my back started hurting, so they put me in the back for the last quarter of the dance, where I did some hand gestures. All through rehearsals the week before, I kept watching the dance and wondering if I could do the whole thing, until they got to the part with the spinning and the hopping from side to side. I'm glad we went first, as her white friends, because the other performances were impressive and made me wonder why I don't watch Bollywood movies.
The ceremony was Saturday morning at a Sikh temple, which made Jon shriek when he first heard the timing, but apparently they have A Thing about ending the ceremony by noon. While the groom arrived in a car, not on a horse or elephant, it was a very impressive arrival: I would totally watch the video of that part. We also visited the bride in the classroom where she'd been stashed: she told us about how she used to take lessons and later taught in that classroom, in the Sikh equivalent of Sunday school. I loved the symbolism of her being taken from the classroom to her husband.
The ceremony itself was a little hard for me, as we sat on the floor, so eventually I had to step out. It was interesting to see they also have a bit where the bride & groom circle the tent with the officiant, and that they have a bondage bit. I'm also really glad that Raita's husband explained that Sikh:Hindi::Protestant:Catholic. Raita quickly argued that it's a peaceful off-shoot, that they never had religious wars. Oh-kay. Lunch was in the basement of the temple and included a cauliflower stir fry I wish I could remember, fried paneer (which is my new favorite breakfast evuh), and the best kulfi I've had.
I somehow napped all afternoon, which never happens.
I confess, I often don't like going to the bride's social gatherings, bc most of the attendees are from a different culture I can't relate to. (I'd feel bad about my cultural insensitivity, except that I realized I feel the same way about hanging out with the parents of Lucky's classmates, i.e. breeders.) I loved how this wedding gave her white friends context for understanding an important part of her life. For example, our two Indian former colleagues opened their closets and managed to come up with outfits - including jewelry - for the three white chicks for every event. Saturday night, I wore a gorgeous blue sari, bangles, and a bindi. After seeing how long it takes to pin a sari - and learning that the pieces all need to be dry cleaned - I'm so glad I only had to do it once and can wear a dress to most occasions. The bride's mom works in fashion, so the bride's dresses were amazing.
Unfortunately the evening started late - dinner was called for 9 - the DJ was not on the same page as the rest of the wedding, and when I got to the dance floor, I discovered any hip movement would bother my back, so it wasn't the best party I've attended. I still had a great time at the wedding and I now understand that not only is a wedding not about the guests of honor, it's actually a party thrown so your friends can hang out with each other.
Fri night was the sangeet at a luxury beach hotel, an event where the friends and families entertain the weekend's deities. Two of the other hens are also Indian, so they created a dance for us to perform at the sangeet. I missed the first rehearsal, because we were in Boston, and then my back started hurting, so they put me in the back for the last quarter of the dance, where I did some hand gestures. All through rehearsals the week before, I kept watching the dance and wondering if I could do the whole thing, until they got to the part with the spinning and the hopping from side to side. I'm glad we went first, as her white friends, because the other performances were impressive and made me wonder why I don't watch Bollywood movies.
The ceremony was Saturday morning at a Sikh temple, which made Jon shriek when he first heard the timing, but apparently they have A Thing about ending the ceremony by noon. While the groom arrived in a car, not on a horse or elephant, it was a very impressive arrival: I would totally watch the video of that part. We also visited the bride in the classroom where she'd been stashed: she told us about how she used to take lessons and later taught in that classroom, in the Sikh equivalent of Sunday school. I loved the symbolism of her being taken from the classroom to her husband.
The ceremony itself was a little hard for me, as we sat on the floor, so eventually I had to step out. It was interesting to see they also have a bit where the bride & groom circle the tent with the officiant, and that they have a bondage bit. I'm also really glad that Raita's husband explained that Sikh:Hindi::Protestant:Catholic. Raita quickly argued that it's a peaceful off-shoot, that they never had religious wars. Oh-kay. Lunch was in the basement of the temple and included a cauliflower stir fry I wish I could remember, fried paneer (which is my new favorite breakfast evuh), and the best kulfi I've had.
I somehow napped all afternoon, which never happens.
I confess, I often don't like going to the bride's social gatherings, bc most of the attendees are from a different culture I can't relate to. (I'd feel bad about my cultural insensitivity, except that I realized I feel the same way about hanging out with the parents of Lucky's classmates, i.e. breeders.) I loved how this wedding gave her white friends context for understanding an important part of her life. For example, our two Indian former colleagues opened their closets and managed to come up with outfits - including jewelry - for the three white chicks for every event. Saturday night, I wore a gorgeous blue sari, bangles, and a bindi. After seeing how long it takes to pin a sari - and learning that the pieces all need to be dry cleaned - I'm so glad I only had to do it once and can wear a dress to most occasions. The bride's mom works in fashion, so the bride's dresses were amazing.
Unfortunately the evening started late - dinner was called for 9 - the DJ was not on the same page as the rest of the wedding, and when I got to the dance floor, I discovered any hip movement would bother my back, so it wasn't the best party I've attended. I still had a great time at the wedding and I now understand that not only is a wedding not about the guests of honor, it's actually a party thrown so your friends can hang out with each other.