Engagement Party AAR
I've been telling my mother that I've gotten everything I wanted from the process of getting married, except the legal status.
Venue: I was eleven kinds of scowly but visited the Yale Club to keep the peace with my mother. I was even more grouchy after seeing the large event spaces on the higher floors, but then they took me to the library (and the lounge) and I fell in love with celebrating with my totally nerdy fiance surrounded by books. It even smelled like books when I visited.
Dress: I was planning on wearing a dress I bought in China right after I got back from the Himalayas, a beautiful color block dress with blue flowers instead of a band of black on the sides. After I lost enough volume to fit in it, my fiance pointed out that it wasn't appropriate for a cocktail party. My sister had been pushing all along to go dress shopping - but the weekend we were supposed to go, she got stuck out on Long Island. Then she got offended that I went shopping with my niece's mother. Which was for the best bc (a) my niece's mother doesn't make me crazy and (b) she's detail-oriented. e.g. she noticed that the two dresses I liked best at Loehmann's were by the same designer, whom I'd never heard of before, but then we found a bunch of her dresses in the exact right size at Century 21 and picked the prettiest. It was heavily embroidered, making it look very fancy, in just the right way to make my waist look narrower than it is, and bc we bought it at Century 21, it was $100 (instead of $400) so the embroidery self-destructs before I wear it again, oh well. I'd never heard of Sue Wong before and since the only dresses we saw were size 6, I assume they were samples or something. Anyhow, the hens from work were shocked to see me in pale pink, demanding I wear that color more often. AHAHAno.
Hair: I specifically requested Candacy from Scott J Aveda bc she did my hair for a party several years ago and it was amazing, as promised by the scheduling guy. It looked very nice, but took an hour and required sitting under one of those big dryers you see in the movies.
Makeup: I'm so very glad GodKitty recommended I go to MAC. She was totally right -- they really are professionals there. That said, I wasn't very happy with how Alicia did my makeup: I thought my eyes were too heavily made up and my mouth was too light a pink. There was a guy named Brad (who looked like he could be Nayland's younger cousin) working at the same time - I think he was applying false lashes to a gorgeous Scandinavian - that looked like he'd be more my style, so if it comes up again... That said, my father specifically pulled me aside the next day to compliment my makeup; he blanched when he heard what it cost; I think he'd intened to tell me to do my makeup like that more often. oops.
Food: We had dinner at the Yale Club when we were choosing it and rapidly concluded that they can do American food well and ethnic food turns out very badly. We stuck with the regular menu and, bc my mother was very excited about chef stations, we had two: one with a chef serving beef tenderloin and a tortellini primavera station. The former was very good and the French fries pleased the multitude of children. I never tried the latter (oops), but we had so many vegetarians and kosher-spectrum folks, we needed a safe choice. We ordered parmesan artichoke and goat cheese fritters; buffalo chicken crisp; shrimp tempura; seared duck breast; mini corn bread muffins; and tuna tartar. I know I tried the buffalo chicken crisp and liked it; I saw the shrimp tempura, mini corn bread muffins, and tuna tartar. I was also served lamb popsicles and samosas, presumably from the wedding upstairs. Oops.
Decorations/Flowers: The Yale Club provided white linens and votive candles, which even their approved florist told me was plenty of decoration in the library. Then my female relatives got involved. My poor Aunt B had said that flower arranging is hard, which she should know after studying ikebana in Japan. My niece's mother had some notions though, partly bc she learned how to make decorations from her mother, who apparently was a florist. Somehow my sister started getting involve and fortunately was left out of the preparation, bc somehow instead of ordering flowers, my mother drafteed Aunt B, her daughter, and my niece's mother into making centerpieces and arrangements from flowers they bought at CostCo. Which turned out gorgeously: I couldn't've been more pleased. Well, except that they made a shrine to us, with pictures from our youth. Except that my mum has the most bizarre taste in pictures of me and picked some truly horrible ones from my awkward years. *sighs*
Guest Book: Good thing I had already made a photo book for our guests to sign, so they could see some nice photos. It was my first time making a premium book on Shutterfly and using their "storytelling elements". Totally worth it. The book probably cost more than the decorations & flowers, especially in time bc I kept pestering Jon for photo scans and adorable urchin photos, and it's now covered in sweet thoughts from our friends and family. Awww...
Speeches: I had arranged for a microphone, in case anyone wanted to give a speech. I figured my father would and maybe Jon's step-mother. Then our siblings followed suit. My father's was short (an unusual length for any of my father's remarks, up to and including "please pass the butter") and welcoming and just right. Jon's brother gave a longer one that said a lot about their family dynamic (I particularly loved his opening joke about how his brother has 3 degrees and he has 3 semesters of college) and completely suited the mood of the room. Then Lbro got up and I was really, really worried. I had no idea he'd be giving a speech and it was also extremely charming. He made it an interactive quiz, asking the audience (1) what the world's fastest growing language is? (Klingon, with an explanation of how I'd told him this, as an example for anyone in the audience who was unaware I'm kind of a nerd); and (3) how many showtunes he knows? (8, which he promptly rattled off so everyone in the audience would know I used to listen to Phantom of the Opera and Les Mis). Then my sister got up and told a story about how I'd been doing Crossfit 5 years before Bbro discovered it and how I've always been leading the way for my siblings, which was very sweet. I thought we were done with speeches, so I said something welcoming. Then my fiance gave an incredibly sweet speech that had his brother in tears about how he didn't know how to be happy until I came into his life. oops. I totally would've given the speech I'd prepped based on this poll. Totally.
Presents: I am stunned by our family and friends' generosity, to the point where I'm demanding that Jon let me write the thank you notes. There was that day when a pile of boxes as tall as I arrived at my apt. I'm also concerned that I'm supposed to know how to use all the bizarre implements we've received, like stock pots and roasters and muddlers, or that we're supposed to throw big parties now. oops.
Video: Based on this post (who doesn't get wedding advice from econ bloggers?), we handed Jon's son an inexpensive (and shock-resistant!) video camera. Jon's task will be to edit the ensuing footage, just as mine is to make our photo book and cards.
Photographer: I was really flakey and didn't investigate this until 2 weeks before, but Nala saved my bacon and referred a friend I'd met at their wedding party. I loved his website, but I haven't seen our photos yet. I'm sure there'll be good enough; as I said to Nala, if I thought any of my relatives could be trusted to get in-focus pictures, I might not have hired a pro.
Music: I think I came up with a pretty kick-ass playlist, including placid selections from The Master & Commander soundtrack, an instrumental version of "Come What May", and Musical Evenings with the Captain (parts 1 and 2). (Jon called it music to write slash to.) I'm sure 90% of my guests didn't know we had music playing, partly bc the cousin I corralled to be my "dj" wasn't paying attention and let the music stop for an indeterminate amount of time. oops.
LBro laughed at me when I said that I was sad (or surprised) about some of the folks who didn't make it, but on the whole, although we invited 160 people, the 70 people who showed up were a wonderful random sample of the people who are important to us and just the right number. I ate, I talked to people, I had a little alone time too. Net-net, I think we spent money on the things that were most important to us and generally had the kind of party we wanted, one where our guests would enjoy themselves. People said nice things, I looked pretty, and there are pictures. Even with our simple party, I got a taste of the drama when people get invested in the oddest things: I can't see why I'd want to do this again, but bigger, in 9 months.
Venue: I was eleven kinds of scowly but visited the Yale Club to keep the peace with my mother. I was even more grouchy after seeing the large event spaces on the higher floors, but then they took me to the library (and the lounge) and I fell in love with celebrating with my totally nerdy fiance surrounded by books. It even smelled like books when I visited.
Dress: I was planning on wearing a dress I bought in China right after I got back from the Himalayas, a beautiful color block dress with blue flowers instead of a band of black on the sides. After I lost enough volume to fit in it, my fiance pointed out that it wasn't appropriate for a cocktail party. My sister had been pushing all along to go dress shopping - but the weekend we were supposed to go, she got stuck out on Long Island. Then she got offended that I went shopping with my niece's mother. Which was for the best bc (a) my niece's mother doesn't make me crazy and (b) she's detail-oriented. e.g. she noticed that the two dresses I liked best at Loehmann's were by the same designer, whom I'd never heard of before, but then we found a bunch of her dresses in the exact right size at Century 21 and picked the prettiest. It was heavily embroidered, making it look very fancy, in just the right way to make my waist look narrower than it is, and bc we bought it at Century 21, it was $100 (instead of $400) so the embroidery self-destructs before I wear it again, oh well. I'd never heard of Sue Wong before and since the only dresses we saw were size 6, I assume they were samples or something. Anyhow, the hens from work were shocked to see me in pale pink, demanding I wear that color more often. AHAHAno.
Hair: I specifically requested Candacy from Scott J Aveda bc she did my hair for a party several years ago and it was amazing, as promised by the scheduling guy. It looked very nice, but took an hour and required sitting under one of those big dryers you see in the movies.
Makeup: I'm so very glad GodKitty recommended I go to MAC. She was totally right -- they really are professionals there. That said, I wasn't very happy with how Alicia did my makeup: I thought my eyes were too heavily made up and my mouth was too light a pink. There was a guy named Brad (who looked like he could be Nayland's younger cousin) working at the same time - I think he was applying false lashes to a gorgeous Scandinavian - that looked like he'd be more my style, so if it comes up again... That said, my father specifically pulled me aside the next day to compliment my makeup; he blanched when he heard what it cost; I think he'd intened to tell me to do my makeup like that more often. oops.
Food: We had dinner at the Yale Club when we were choosing it and rapidly concluded that they can do American food well and ethnic food turns out very badly. We stuck with the regular menu and, bc my mother was very excited about chef stations, we had two: one with a chef serving beef tenderloin and a tortellini primavera station. The former was very good and the French fries pleased the multitude of children. I never tried the latter (oops), but we had so many vegetarians and kosher-spectrum folks, we needed a safe choice. We ordered parmesan artichoke and goat cheese fritters; buffalo chicken crisp; shrimp tempura; seared duck breast; mini corn bread muffins; and tuna tartar. I know I tried the buffalo chicken crisp and liked it; I saw the shrimp tempura, mini corn bread muffins, and tuna tartar. I was also served lamb popsicles and samosas, presumably from the wedding upstairs. Oops.
Decorations/Flowers: The Yale Club provided white linens and votive candles, which even their approved florist told me was plenty of decoration in the library. Then my female relatives got involved. My poor Aunt B had said that flower arranging is hard, which she should know after studying ikebana in Japan. My niece's mother had some notions though, partly bc she learned how to make decorations from her mother, who apparently was a florist. Somehow my sister started getting involve and fortunately was left out of the preparation, bc somehow instead of ordering flowers, my mother drafteed Aunt B, her daughter, and my niece's mother into making centerpieces and arrangements from flowers they bought at CostCo. Which turned out gorgeously: I couldn't've been more pleased. Well, except that they made a shrine to us, with pictures from our youth. Except that my mum has the most bizarre taste in pictures of me and picked some truly horrible ones from my awkward years. *sighs*
Guest Book: Good thing I had already made a photo book for our guests to sign, so they could see some nice photos. It was my first time making a premium book on Shutterfly and using their "storytelling elements". Totally worth it. The book probably cost more than the decorations & flowers, especially in time bc I kept pestering Jon for photo scans and adorable urchin photos, and it's now covered in sweet thoughts from our friends and family. Awww...
Speeches: I had arranged for a microphone, in case anyone wanted to give a speech. I figured my father would and maybe Jon's step-mother. Then our siblings followed suit. My father's was short (an unusual length for any of my father's remarks, up to and including "please pass the butter") and welcoming and just right. Jon's brother gave a longer one that said a lot about their family dynamic (I particularly loved his opening joke about how his brother has 3 degrees and he has 3 semesters of college) and completely suited the mood of the room. Then Lbro got up and I was really, really worried. I had no idea he'd be giving a speech and it was also extremely charming. He made it an interactive quiz, asking the audience (1) what the world's fastest growing language is? (Klingon, with an explanation of how I'd told him this, as an example for anyone in the audience who was unaware I'm kind of a nerd); and (3) how many showtunes he knows? (8, which he promptly rattled off so everyone in the audience would know I used to listen to Phantom of the Opera and Les Mis). Then my sister got up and told a story about how I'd been doing Crossfit 5 years before Bbro discovered it and how I've always been leading the way for my siblings, which was very sweet. I thought we were done with speeches, so I said something welcoming. Then my fiance gave an incredibly sweet speech that had his brother in tears about how he didn't know how to be happy until I came into his life. oops. I totally would've given the speech I'd prepped based on this poll. Totally.
Presents: I am stunned by our family and friends' generosity, to the point where I'm demanding that Jon let me write the thank you notes. There was that day when a pile of boxes as tall as I arrived at my apt. I'm also concerned that I'm supposed to know how to use all the bizarre implements we've received, like stock pots and roasters and muddlers, or that we're supposed to throw big parties now. oops.
Video: Based on this post (who doesn't get wedding advice from econ bloggers?), we handed Jon's son an inexpensive (and shock-resistant!) video camera. Jon's task will be to edit the ensuing footage, just as mine is to make our photo book and cards.
Photographer: I was really flakey and didn't investigate this until 2 weeks before, but Nala saved my bacon and referred a friend I'd met at their wedding party. I loved his website, but I haven't seen our photos yet. I'm sure there'll be good enough; as I said to Nala, if I thought any of my relatives could be trusted to get in-focus pictures, I might not have hired a pro.
Music: I think I came up with a pretty kick-ass playlist, including placid selections from The Master & Commander soundtrack, an instrumental version of "Come What May", and Musical Evenings with the Captain (parts 1 and 2). (Jon called it music to write slash to.) I'm sure 90% of my guests didn't know we had music playing, partly bc the cousin I corralled to be my "dj" wasn't paying attention and let the music stop for an indeterminate amount of time. oops.
LBro laughed at me when I said that I was sad (or surprised) about some of the folks who didn't make it, but on the whole, although we invited 160 people, the 70 people who showed up were a wonderful random sample of the people who are important to us and just the right number. I ate, I talked to people, I had a little alone time too. Net-net, I think we spent money on the things that were most important to us and generally had the kind of party we wanted, one where our guests would enjoy themselves. People said nice things, I looked pretty, and there are pictures. Even with our simple party, I got a taste of the drama when people get invested in the oddest things: I can't see why I'd want to do this again, but bigger, in 9 months.