(Lack of) Adventures in Swiss-occupied France
I'm having trouble writing about my trip to Geneva bc I feel bad about being so negative. On the other hand, one of the top 5 things that happened on the trip was my niece pooping herself and trying to eat it, involving her mother plaintively calling my brother to help. It was kinda awesome, really.
Part of the problem is that Geneva is the most boring European city I've ever been to. Jon and I were so bored, we ended up at a museum about the Reformation. They actually had a really cool multimedia presentation about the history from Luther to Calvin, although I found the one about predestination confusing. It also made it clear that if part of your identity is being a Calvinist city, you're not going to have gorgeous churches or art. I also decided, based on the room about the 8 French religious wars in 40 years, that I'm never studying French history again ever.
Oh, and when one of your biggest tourist features is a water jet, ur doin it rong. Being surrounded by dull, French-speaking people brought out my worst ugly American impulses, but every waterpark in America has a jet like that. I ran past it 6 times bc the boardwalk around Lake Geneva doesn't go all the way to the French border. I almost ended up in France on my longest run that week.
It's also horrifyingly expensive. My mom wanted to meet a friend of hers at admittedly one of the nice bars in town. My Cuban rum was delicious and not insanely expensive for a hotel bar in Europe, maybe 17F? Which is roughly $17. However, at $45 for a burger, I decided I'd rather have blood sugar issues after a run than buy one.
The weather was pure fall, which is to say terrible for outdoor activities. We failed to go biking. We took an overnight trip to Chamonix, except it poured most of the first day we were there. When we spoke to a guide about doing something, anything, technical, they said the rocks were too water-logged for climbing and they weren't sure if the snow was waist-deep or chest-deep bc no one had been up to the high mountains in a while. The weather wasn't anyone's fault, but why my mum didn't learn that all but one of the cable cars would be closed by October when she was there in July I don't understand. Jon figured out the reason I was so very snarly the first half of the trip was that it was a series of unplanned, let alone optimized, rest days and he pointed out that when we travel, I'm not even very pleasant on planned rest days. oops.
It also would've helped if people had let me sleep more. The first night, Jon and I slept until noon on my brother's $3K mattress, but after that, my mum would bang on our door between 7 and 9am every morning, yelling that we were late for some activity she'd discovered since leaving my brother's place at midnight the night before.
I forgave her for doing that the morning we woke in Chamonix. The Aiguille du Midi is a GREAT example of why cable cars >> mountaineering. I was jealous of the people with harnesses, helmets, ice axes, and rope in the car up, but watching all the walking they would do to see not much more than we did, even I had to admit it was a retarded benefit-cost ratio. We got at least 80% of the benefit with <20% of the effort. Moreover, we had hot chocolate with rum and whipped cream at the top.
I still don't know if my mum particularly scheduled our day trip to Gruyere for Columbus Day Actual, but it was awesome. We started with a tour of Maison Cailler, with a surprisingly good presentation on the history of corporate chocolate in Switzerland. At the end of the tour, they let us sample raw cocoa beans, the best hazelnuts I've ever had, their run of the mill chocolates straight off the line -- and every chocolate they make. Oh. Em. Gee. I liked the dark ones and the caramel ones and the waffley ones and the cookie like ones and excuse me, I need to go eat some of the ones we brought back. Seriously, now I know which supermarket brands to buy and plan to take a picture of the one I'm eating RIGHT NOW so my brother can bring some back for me... when I finish the eleventy-seven bars I already have. Then we drove to a farmhouse for a 3 course cheese lunch, including an antipasti appetizer of ham, sausages, appenzaller, gruyere, and vacherin. I liked the vacherin best, so that's what I brought back. Our guide claimed that in Switzerland, the men make fondue; Jon's was the best of course bc he is the king of low heat, patient cooking. Dessert was a double-cream gruyere with meringue. Then we walked around the town of Gruyere, trying more cheese and chocolate. We took a scenic train past Montreux and Castle Chillon and ended the day with a drink at Baron Tavernier restaurant. Yum.
We also took day trips to the wineries at Vevey and Yvoire and while I enjoyed walking through the vineyards, the pretty daughter of the winemaker serving us all their (not tasty) wines, and the delicious fried trout? perch? overlooking the water, the constant confusion and lack of optimization was irritating.
So really, the best part of the trip was teaching my niece how to use her walker, how to use a sippy cup, and sometimes it's good to eat things that don't come from nipples.
Part of the problem is that Geneva is the most boring European city I've ever been to. Jon and I were so bored, we ended up at a museum about the Reformation. They actually had a really cool multimedia presentation about the history from Luther to Calvin, although I found the one about predestination confusing. It also made it clear that if part of your identity is being a Calvinist city, you're not going to have gorgeous churches or art. I also decided, based on the room about the 8 French religious wars in 40 years, that I'm never studying French history again ever.
Oh, and when one of your biggest tourist features is a water jet, ur doin it rong. Being surrounded by dull, French-speaking people brought out my worst ugly American impulses, but every waterpark in America has a jet like that. I ran past it 6 times bc the boardwalk around Lake Geneva doesn't go all the way to the French border. I almost ended up in France on my longest run that week.
It's also horrifyingly expensive. My mom wanted to meet a friend of hers at admittedly one of the nice bars in town. My Cuban rum was delicious and not insanely expensive for a hotel bar in Europe, maybe 17F? Which is roughly $17. However, at $45 for a burger, I decided I'd rather have blood sugar issues after a run than buy one.
The weather was pure fall, which is to say terrible for outdoor activities. We failed to go biking. We took an overnight trip to Chamonix, except it poured most of the first day we were there. When we spoke to a guide about doing something, anything, technical, they said the rocks were too water-logged for climbing and they weren't sure if the snow was waist-deep or chest-deep bc no one had been up to the high mountains in a while. The weather wasn't anyone's fault, but why my mum didn't learn that all but one of the cable cars would be closed by October when she was there in July I don't understand. Jon figured out the reason I was so very snarly the first half of the trip was that it was a series of unplanned, let alone optimized, rest days and he pointed out that when we travel, I'm not even very pleasant on planned rest days. oops.
It also would've helped if people had let me sleep more. The first night, Jon and I slept until noon on my brother's $3K mattress, but after that, my mum would bang on our door between 7 and 9am every morning, yelling that we were late for some activity she'd discovered since leaving my brother's place at midnight the night before.
I forgave her for doing that the morning we woke in Chamonix. The Aiguille du Midi is a GREAT example of why cable cars >> mountaineering. I was jealous of the people with harnesses, helmets, ice axes, and rope in the car up, but watching all the walking they would do to see not much more than we did, even I had to admit it was a retarded benefit-cost ratio. We got at least 80% of the benefit with <20% of the effort. Moreover, we had hot chocolate with rum and whipped cream at the top.
I still don't know if my mum particularly scheduled our day trip to Gruyere for Columbus Day Actual, but it was awesome. We started with a tour of Maison Cailler, with a surprisingly good presentation on the history of corporate chocolate in Switzerland. At the end of the tour, they let us sample raw cocoa beans, the best hazelnuts I've ever had, their run of the mill chocolates straight off the line -- and every chocolate they make. Oh. Em. Gee. I liked the dark ones and the caramel ones and the waffley ones and the cookie like ones and excuse me, I need to go eat some of the ones we brought back. Seriously, now I know which supermarket brands to buy and plan to take a picture of the one I'm eating RIGHT NOW so my brother can bring some back for me... when I finish the eleventy-seven bars I already have. Then we drove to a farmhouse for a 3 course cheese lunch, including an antipasti appetizer of ham, sausages, appenzaller, gruyere, and vacherin. I liked the vacherin best, so that's what I brought back. Our guide claimed that in Switzerland, the men make fondue; Jon's was the best of course bc he is the king of low heat, patient cooking. Dessert was a double-cream gruyere with meringue. Then we walked around the town of Gruyere, trying more cheese and chocolate. We took a scenic train past Montreux and Castle Chillon and ended the day with a drink at Baron Tavernier restaurant. Yum.
We also took day trips to the wineries at Vevey and Yvoire and while I enjoyed walking through the vineyards, the pretty daughter of the winemaker serving us all their (not tasty) wines, and the delicious fried trout? perch? overlooking the water, the constant confusion and lack of optimization was irritating.
So really, the best part of the trip was teaching my niece how to use her walker, how to use a sippy cup, and sometimes it's good to eat things that don't come from nipples.