In Memory of Luna the Ferret
I've been through a lot of things in life, but I've never been responsible for a pets death. Everyone tells me not to be hard on myself, that accidents happen. I'm aware of that, but it's still difficult to come to terms with. The first day was the hardest, it felt like those moments when you swear the pain won't go away, when you swear that the feeling inside is going to kill you.
I woke up at 6:20am on Sunday July 19, 2015 while Matt was getting ready to go to work, I was very sleepy and not quite awake. I decided that I wanted to do laundry and that I would put a load in and go back to bed. I grabbed the rug, the towels and Luna's blankets to wash. I woke up around 8 and went to take the load out of the washer. I hung the rug and saw a blood stain on it, I was very confused about where that came from, but I figured it was probably blood from one of the dogs while chewing on a bone or something. So I finished with the rug and went to grab more out of the machine when I saw Luna, she wasn't moving. Once again I was incredibly confused, I don't even know what I thought at that moment. I just remember going over to her and touching her hand and realizing she was gone. She was stiff, she was dead, my baby was gone. I think a little piece of me died at that moment, it's as if my world spun out of control. I yelled, I cried, I didn't know how to handle it. I was in shambles and I was unaware of how to gather myself. I was pacing back and forth, I was crying, I was saying to myself out loud, "No nO NO NO NO, LUNA NO." I was DEVASTATED, I was confused, I felt guilty, I was a mess. I text my boyfriend right away and said, "MATT call me!!!" "Luna is dead!!" "CALL ME PLEASE, CALL ME!!" I was desperate, I was crying, I was on the floor, I was rocking back and forth. I felt this uncontrollable hurt inside, one that made me feel like I was going to go crazy. A part of me wanted to die, I couldn't bear the thought of her drowning or suffering in the washing machine. I couldn't bear to think that she was in any sort of pain, I didn't want that, I'd never allow that.
She was my baby, I'd hold her, kiss her and love her to death. She'd always lick my face and would often times lay on me and fall asleep. I know she loved me, I could feel her love for me. It's just like anything in life, when a human being loves you, you can feel it, there's no doubt when you know that that love is there. That's how it was for us, we were in love and treated each other with kindness. I know it sounds silly, but it's true. An animal isn't just an animal, it becomes family, it becomes a part of your life and finds a special place in your heart. If you've never shared that bond and love, you wouldn't be able to understand. What people don't understand they most often criticize or brush off as untrue or ridiculous. The only thing I know is that we had created a ridiculously tight bond and she was my little girl.
Monday was difficult, I cried a lot, even in front of my co-workers, I just didn't care. I wasn't embarrassed and everyone was surprinsingly very understanding, kind and sympathetic towards my loss. I was in pain and it was real. Today is now Wednesday and its finally a lot easier to deal with. I was at work and I didn't cry, people were able to talk to me and I actually laughed, smiled and interacted with everyone. I'm no longer beating myself up or having my heart sink and soul die at the thought of her in the washing machine. I still wonder how she died: how fast she died, what she felt, if she was afraid, if she thought of me, if she wanted my help, if she drowned, if the water was too hot and burned her, if she was shaken too much. I hope to God that she didn't suffer too long, I hope that it was a quick and painless death, but I have no way of knowing.
All I have now are our memories, the laughs, the smiles and the joy that she brought to my life. I loved having her in my life, she was a beautiful companion, it was a special bond that I've never really had with any other animal. The closest I can say is my Boston Terrier, but even him and I don't share the bond Luna and I had. She was a character, she was a beautiful angel sent to me and my boyfriend. We laughed so much with her, we loved so much with her. He'd hold her and spin her body, chanting, "helicopter helicopter helicopter."
I'll miss her goofy dooks, her happy hyper runs, her crashing into things and us laughing at her sillyness. I'll miss wondering where some of my stuff was and finding it in one of her hiding spots. I'll miss looking for her under the couch, in the recliner & dishwasher. I'll miss having her dig through all of my purses, taking my makeup bag and running with it, lol. Going through all of my drawers when they were open. I'll miss her kisses, I'll miss her trying to get into the shower while we showered. I'll miss her licking my wet legs as I exited the shower and her licking me anytime I put lotion on. I'll miss our snuggles and snapchatting her. I'll miss how sweet she was and what a wonderful part of our family she became. I need to move forward and I am. But I wanted to be sure to honor her for who she was and what she became in my life.
It saddens me that ferrets are illegal in California. People are being deprived of discovering the amazing characteristics and personalities that ferrets possess. Ferrets are not a threat to our native wildlife, they are domesticated creatures that would never survive in the wild! They are not to be feared; ferrets are family, ferrets are love.
LEGALIZE FERRETS CALIFORNIA!
RIP Luna, Luna Tuna, Loon Lania, Loony Toony :)
Mommy and Daddy love you <3 :)
I woke up at 6:20am on Sunday July 19, 2015 while Matt was getting ready to go to work, I was very sleepy and not quite awake. I decided that I wanted to do laundry and that I would put a load in and go back to bed. I grabbed the rug, the towels and Luna's blankets to wash. I woke up around 8 and went to take the load out of the washer. I hung the rug and saw a blood stain on it, I was very confused about where that came from, but I figured it was probably blood from one of the dogs while chewing on a bone or something. So I finished with the rug and went to grab more out of the machine when I saw Luna, she wasn't moving. Once again I was incredibly confused, I don't even know what I thought at that moment. I just remember going over to her and touching her hand and realizing she was gone. She was stiff, she was dead, my baby was gone. I think a little piece of me died at that moment, it's as if my world spun out of control. I yelled, I cried, I didn't know how to handle it. I was in shambles and I was unaware of how to gather myself. I was pacing back and forth, I was crying, I was saying to myself out loud, "No nO NO NO NO, LUNA NO." I was DEVASTATED, I was confused, I felt guilty, I was a mess. I text my boyfriend right away and said, "MATT call me!!!" "Luna is dead!!" "CALL ME PLEASE, CALL ME!!" I was desperate, I was crying, I was on the floor, I was rocking back and forth. I felt this uncontrollable hurt inside, one that made me feel like I was going to go crazy. A part of me wanted to die, I couldn't bear the thought of her drowning or suffering in the washing machine. I couldn't bear to think that she was in any sort of pain, I didn't want that, I'd never allow that.
She was my baby, I'd hold her, kiss her and love her to death. She'd always lick my face and would often times lay on me and fall asleep. I know she loved me, I could feel her love for me. It's just like anything in life, when a human being loves you, you can feel it, there's no doubt when you know that that love is there. That's how it was for us, we were in love and treated each other with kindness. I know it sounds silly, but it's true. An animal isn't just an animal, it becomes family, it becomes a part of your life and finds a special place in your heart. If you've never shared that bond and love, you wouldn't be able to understand. What people don't understand they most often criticize or brush off as untrue or ridiculous. The only thing I know is that we had created a ridiculously tight bond and she was my little girl.
Monday was difficult, I cried a lot, even in front of my co-workers, I just didn't care. I wasn't embarrassed and everyone was surprinsingly very understanding, kind and sympathetic towards my loss. I was in pain and it was real. Today is now Wednesday and its finally a lot easier to deal with. I was at work and I didn't cry, people were able to talk to me and I actually laughed, smiled and interacted with everyone. I'm no longer beating myself up or having my heart sink and soul die at the thought of her in the washing machine. I still wonder how she died: how fast she died, what she felt, if she was afraid, if she thought of me, if she wanted my help, if she drowned, if the water was too hot and burned her, if she was shaken too much. I hope to God that she didn't suffer too long, I hope that it was a quick and painless death, but I have no way of knowing.
All I have now are our memories, the laughs, the smiles and the joy that she brought to my life. I loved having her in my life, she was a beautiful companion, it was a special bond that I've never really had with any other animal. The closest I can say is my Boston Terrier, but even him and I don't share the bond Luna and I had. She was a character, she was a beautiful angel sent to me and my boyfriend. We laughed so much with her, we loved so much with her. He'd hold her and spin her body, chanting, "helicopter helicopter helicopter."
I'll miss her goofy dooks, her happy hyper runs, her crashing into things and us laughing at her sillyness. I'll miss wondering where some of my stuff was and finding it in one of her hiding spots. I'll miss looking for her under the couch, in the recliner & dishwasher. I'll miss having her dig through all of my purses, taking my makeup bag and running with it, lol. Going through all of my drawers when they were open. I'll miss her kisses, I'll miss her trying to get into the shower while we showered. I'll miss her licking my wet legs as I exited the shower and her licking me anytime I put lotion on. I'll miss our snuggles and snapchatting her. I'll miss how sweet she was and what a wonderful part of our family she became. I need to move forward and I am. But I wanted to be sure to honor her for who she was and what she became in my life.
It saddens me that ferrets are illegal in California. People are being deprived of discovering the amazing characteristics and personalities that ferrets possess. Ferrets are not a threat to our native wildlife, they are domesticated creatures that would never survive in the wild! They are not to be feared; ferrets are family, ferrets are love.
LEGALIZE FERRETS CALIFORNIA!
RIP Luna, Luna Tuna, Loon Lania, Loony Toony :)
Mommy and Daddy love you <3 :)