(no subject)
tee hee hee, im jenna melissa and kelly. joking. so friday i went to the indians game right? yea so i saw this kid there and i was like whoa he looks way familiar. and i started talking to him and it just so happens the kid used to live in ashtabula and i knew him before i moved and he movedto solon 2 years ago. his name is Jordan Tyyler and hes the ss for the varstiy baseball team and the kicker for the jv football team. and he is so sweet and just turned 16. i was so wonderful iwas so happy. like the only time i was happier was when i found out i made drill team monday. yay. that was exciting. so jordan called sunday and we talked about all kinds of stuff it was great. it was all good until last night. i get in a fight with my mom again. wow, like that never happens. i found stuff out about people when they could have told me themselves but their too caught up in their own perfect life to see that im crumblying. and then im being stupid about everything i it sucks dick like usual. and i get all happy then i get pissed then i get sad and it all takes place within a minute and it just keeps doing that. and people start to worry because i sit there and im not really looking at anything just staring and they try to figure out why but they couldnt understand. and then i think of jordan and i wish i could see him again. he takes my mind off everything that sucks in life. unlike ricky, everytime i saw him or talked to him it was either i knew everything was perfect or i knew he was going to dump me again soon. and that wasnt fun at all. because i knew, no one would have to tell me i got that feeling and i say omg hes guna do it again. and this time i decided we were done, because he promised one last time. i remember him say that. and i think back to that night when he said that and i hate it. i hate everything about it. the fact that he lied to me, i made stupid decision and that he was there at my house to leave more memories again. i hate it. and i hate myself for letting it happen and i hate him for hurting me so much. i used to deny that it hurt that i was fine, it didnt matter, everything would be ok. but guess what, its not. i know its not my bestfriend lucky knows its not. but theres nothing i can do about it. which makes it worse.