3/16/06. an excerpt from something written in modernism.
"who's really true and who's full of crap? like how many real people are there out there. i just want to be a total jerk to someone and have them know i dont mean it and for me to not even have to apologize. i'm sick of worrying about that crap, or always having to be nice and make sure i say and do the right things. can't i just be a jerk for a while. just say mean/sarcastic comments and not care? not that i would necessarily mean them, that doesn't matter, but just the prospect of not having to apologize for it would be nice.
there's so much to think about in the world. like so much. like the possibilities for thinking are endless. i could be thinking about carrots, or politics, or science, school, art, literature, bathrooms, cooking, shoes, buildings, anything. i wish sometimes there wasn't so much to think about. i think my brain is just way too overloaded. there's so much i'm currently churning in my head that's driving me crazy.
so much crap i dont want to think about. i hate it all. i wish it would all get wiped away and i could just start new or something. i shouldn't have eaten that brownie last night. stupid brownie, now i still feel huge and sick. oh well, my teeth hurt right now. well they just feel gross and sugary because i drank a cherry coke earlier. i want to brush my teeth. i'm in modernism. "we're" discussing a book we were supposed to have started reading. i dont even own it yet."
that was a bad day, things have changed since then. i've gained a lot of perspective on the things i was worrying about. jetfoi visited last night, i like their rare spontaneous visits.
there's so much to think about in the world. like so much. like the possibilities for thinking are endless. i could be thinking about carrots, or politics, or science, school, art, literature, bathrooms, cooking, shoes, buildings, anything. i wish sometimes there wasn't so much to think about. i think my brain is just way too overloaded. there's so much i'm currently churning in my head that's driving me crazy.
so much crap i dont want to think about. i hate it all. i wish it would all get wiped away and i could just start new or something. i shouldn't have eaten that brownie last night. stupid brownie, now i still feel huge and sick. oh well, my teeth hurt right now. well they just feel gross and sugary because i drank a cherry coke earlier. i want to brush my teeth. i'm in modernism. "we're" discussing a book we were supposed to have started reading. i dont even own it yet."
that was a bad day, things have changed since then. i've gained a lot of perspective on the things i was worrying about. jetfoi visited last night, i like their rare spontaneous visits.