If I Stay by Gayle Forman
If I Stay
by Gayle Forman
(Audio)
Everyone seems to have read this book or seen the movie except for me, so when I saw it in the library, I picked it up. It's the story of Mia, who is in a car accident with her family and then suddenly finds herself in a place somewhere between life and death. She can see her unconscious body in the hospital, she can watch and hear the people coming to visit her or take care of her. She just can't interact with any of them. The question she realizes she must ask herself is if she should return to her life or move on toward death.
In a way, this book is a version of "life flashing before her eyes." She thinks back about her life and the people in it--meeting her best friend, falling in love with her boyfriend, deciding to play the cello, etc. And she uses those memories and feelings to decide if she wants to die or not. She basically becomes a sum of her experiences and becomes richer as a character right before our eyes by exploring her past and contemplating her future.
Naturally, the reader can't help but wonder the whole time--will she choose to stay or choose to go? Everyone who visits her wants her to come back to them, but her grandfather understands and (in a touching, private scene) gives her permission to leave if that's what's right for her. But what would be the point of this book if she died at the end? Of course she would choose to stay. Right? Er, right? Just as soon as I was sure she would choose to stay, things shifted for me and suddenly I realized she was going to die. She was actually going to die. She had decided. I didn't see that coming at all.
I really liked getting to know Mia so intimately and going with her on this journey to decide. And even though the whole book is about her decision... when it comes down to it in the end, I couldn't help but feel that there was no decision at all the whole time and it was all going to turn out a certain way for her no matter what :-)