Fic I wrote for
hc_bingo:
Title: Lupin Loved Black
Author: KateKintail
Prompt: werewolves: accidental mating for life w/ inappropriate person
Medium: Fic
Fandom: Harry Potter
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Students in this story have sexual relations, but they are of legal age. Also, mentions bestiality (in a not so favorable way)
Summary: Remus copes with accidentally having mated for life with someone inappropriate for him.
insanity (always there) character is shown the error of his or her ways
major illness
suicide attempt
sensory deprivation
loss of hearing
werewolves: accidental mating for life w/ inappropriate person
brainwashing / deprogramming
zombie apocalypse
sexual extortion: to protect someone else
scars
accidents
WILD CARD
stigmata
fear of clowns
difficult pregnancy
stroke
fuck or die
body dysmorphic disorder
undercover: forced to hurt your partner
surprise sexswap
hunger / starvation
bullet wounds
nausea
minor illness (cold, allergies)
Lupin loved Black. And everyone knew it. It was impossible to miss the way Remus and Sirius held hands in the hallways or kissed before taking their seats in a classroom. Not only the members of Gryffindor house saw the way their hands strayed beneath the table in the Great Hall. And no one batted an eyelash when they were found in the Quidditch equipment shed in a compromised position. Yes, Lupin loved Black. And Sirius loved Remus right back as well. That didn’t mean, however, that Remus didn’t also like his space occasionally. This was never more the case when he had a good book to read or homework to finish.
Remus lay on his stomach on his four poster bed, lost in thought and in the book he was reading. He almost didn’t hear the door to the dormitory room open. And he definitely didn’t hear James Potter walk in. Because when James hovered over him and gave a cough, Remus yelped and jumped in place, startled half to death.
“Sorry, mate.” James chuckled and walked past, tossing his bag on his bed and grabbing a maroon, knitted jumper from his trunk. “Must be some book.”
Remus shrugged. “S’all right. Just studying for N.E.W.T.s.”
James’ eyebrow rose, suspicion filling his gaze. “Unless I’m mistaken, you’re the most qualified person in school to discuss werewolves; no studying needed. So come on downstairs. Sirius is being a show-off and needs someone to get him back down to Earth.”
Snorting, “Prongs, you know you’re the only one he’ll listen to. If he’s being a berk, just tell him to quit it and he will.”
But James shook his head. “Not this time, mate. This time he’s got an adoring audience of giggling second years to keep him going. I think it’s up to you to let them know he’s taken.”
Growling to himself, Remus marked his place in the book. “Fine.” He considered the page one more time before following James down the stairs to the common room.
There was no group of second year students, giggling or otherwise. And there was no one even remotely near Sirius, apart from Wormtail. Sirius wasn’t even showing off to him, which had to be a first. But when he saw Remus, his face lit up and he jumped to his feet. “Remus!” he darted over, locked lips with the young man, and wrapped his arms around him. When he pulled back, he nuzzled Remus affectionately, the way he did when he was in his dog form. “I’ve got a big question for you.”
Remus’ heart started to race. He realized that nearly every person in the room was now looking at him and they all seemed to know what this was about, though Remus had no idea. It wasn’t possible that Sirius was proposing marriage, could it? They were technically adults, but they were still in school. Remus swallowed hard and fixed his eyes on Sirius’ handsome gray ones. For a moment, a calm swept over him. The rest of the room and the rest of the world fell away and the only thing that was real was the lovely relaxing sensation in Remus’ body and those beautiful gray eyes.
Then Sirius spoke, and broke the spell. “Will you move in with me?”
Completely confused, Remus blinked and swallowed again. What did Sirius mean? He already slept in the man’s bed every night and had done for years now. It was a convenient arrangement, really, because he could keep his school books and papers spread out on his bed in order and not have to worry about disturbing them when he felt drowsy. “Move in with you?” he repeated, buying himself a little time and, he hoped, a little explanation from the man.
Thankfully, Sirius nodded with excitement. “Yeah. I just got that money from my uncle’s estate and I’m going to use it to get a flat after Hogwarts. I need to buy a couch and a bed and all that stuff to fill it up, but the thing I most want to put in it is you.”
Someone in the room-it was a girl and it might have even been Lily Evans-cooed as if that were the absolute most romantic statement ever. Remus felt a sharp elbow nudge him, and knew that was probably James. He wondered if the two of them, with their talk of buying a house together, had inspired or even pressured Sirius to take this step.
“I know money’s a bit tight for you,” Sirius said, in his way of not coming straight out and saying that all of the applications for jobs that Remus had owled out to people had been rejected or returned unopened. “And I don’t want you to have to worry about the roof over your head.”
“Go on then,” James hissed behind Remus. “What’s your answer?”
Obviously Remus couldn’t say no. “How can I say no?” he replied. Sirius squeezed him so hard he squeaked. He hadn’t actually said yes… but he knew that Sirius wouldn’t notice that. He knew this meant he was moving in with Sirius. And he knew this wasn’t the worst thing that could happen. But, as Sirius hugged him the mix of emotions Remus felt made him a little ill and dizzy.
Amidst the clapping and cheers of his fellow Gryffindors, Remus whimpered a little. Remus melted into Sirius’ strong arms, letting the man support him both financially and physically. Now that it was done, it didn’t feel nearly as bad as it could have. For the rest of the evening, he and Sirius snuggled together in one of the chairs by the fire. It was nice to spend the time being in such constant physical contact without it going further. Lately, they hadn’t had time to do much that didn’t lead directly to sex. It was so much more efficient to have a quickie between study sessions. But this was nice-just touching and petting and remembering what it was like when they’d first fallen in love. The war outside the walls of Hogwarts had made them grow up a heck of a lot faster than they should have. And even though they were celebrating a huge step in their adult lives, it was nice just to be able to sit in the common room and snog each other senseless, enjoying the sensations without any pressure.
In fact, Remus was sad when it was time to head up to bed, and almost considered asking Sirius if they could just stay down in the common room together that night instead of getting up. His limbs felt tired, his head was heavier than usual, and his eyelids burned. Likewise, Sirius was almost nodding off where he sat. And the warm, softly crackling fire certainly didn’t help any. It was all so nice, Remus didn’t want it to end. Besides, his stomach was still a little uneasy and it was easiest to stay put.
But, in the end, he let the other Marauders talk him into heading upstairs to sleep. Remus, however, needed to do just a little more reading before joining Sirius in bed.
Remus had not dated very many boys, but he’d had a few crushes in his early years and he had had relations with a few different ones at the end of fifth year and beginning of sixth when he had been furious with Sirius Black for using him in a tasteless prank he’d pulled on Severus Snape. What he’d discovered was that there were all sorts of different lovers who had all sorts of different styles. Hufflepuffs were easily the most physical. If it didn’t have to do with kissing or fondling, they weren’t much interested. Ravenclaws, on the other hand, were all about talking and finding out everything they could about their partner, though they typically also overanalyzed their relationships. And Slytherins… well, Remus hadn’t actually been with any Slytherins, but he assumed they were good at knowing what they liked in bed and trying to get that out of their partners. Remus wasn’t sure if that was something he’d like… but he had to admit there was a certain peacefulness in the idea of knowing themselves so well.
Remus hopped up on his bed, hesitated, and then opened up the book to where he had left off. Werewolves. Yes, James had been right: he knew enough about werewolves first-hand to be able to do well at his N.E.W.T.s in a few months. But there was something else that he wanted to find out about werewolves and he hadn’t been able to find it explained to his satisfaction in any book.
With a deep breath and his fingers crossed, he bowed his head and read:
Mating for Life
Though the werewolf is more man than wolf throughout the month, it has been observed that werewolves mate for life, just as most species of wolves do in the wild. Once the werewolf’s mate is selected, a process that has nothing to do with logic and everything to do with instinct and emotion, there can be no deviating from it. The bond is strong and undeniable, tying the two together on a very base level. The werewolf is able to recognize his mate by scent, even at great distances, and he is incapable of harming his mate, even when he is in the form of the werewolf and his mate is not. Thus, the only person who is safe to be around a transformed werewolf on the night of a full moon is the werewolf’s mate.
In cases where the werewolf’s mate has died, the werewolf may take another mate, but even then the two do not develop the same sort of attachment and it is possible for the two to separate without the werewolf feeling adverse effects.
Due to the limited number of study subjects, werewolf mating behavior cannot be quantified scientifically or stated as fact. However, some observations can be mentioned as nothing has been found to refute them. First, a werewolf may attach itself to any person, indiscriminate of appropriateness or gender. Second, the mating goes best when both parties are in agreement about it, however a werewolf may bond with someone who does know even realize it. Third, no known magic can break this connection, once it has been established. Fourth, the werewolf is physically capable of taking other partners, despite his situation, but he does not establish the sort of bond he has with his mate.
Many factors in werewolf mating remain untested, unobserved, or unproven. These include the possibility of two werewolves mating with each other, a werewolf forming an attachment in wolf form, and a werewolf mating with an actual wolf.
Remus stopped there to shudder. The thought of mating with a wolf… that was sickening. All right, he had, as a wolf, done the deed with Padfoot in dog form on occasion. But they were both wizards underneath their transformations and they had been dating for years before it had taken place in fully consenting conditions. Having sex with an actual animal was not something Remus felt he was capable of, and he was glad of that.
The rest of the passage about werewolf mating was less helpful. That was all there was about mating for life, but the book went on to describe what it was like when werewolves mated, right down to the differences in their penises. It was enough to make Remus never want to have sex again, whether as a human or a wolf. With a deep breath and an uneasy churning in his stomach, Remus re-read the passage, picking out several important bits: a process that has nothing to do with logic and everything to do with instinct and emotion, the bond is strong and undeniable. Well, that was certainly the truth. He read on: incapable of harming his mate, the only person who is safe to be around a transformed werewolf on the night of a full moon is the werewolf’s mate. Remus stopped there, thinking about the marauders and the animagus transformations that had not only changed his life, but made his transformations both bearable and actually enjoyable.
Remus went on: a werewolf may attach itself to any person, indiscriminate of appropriateness or gender, a werewolf may bond with someone who does know even realize it. Remus had to stop reading in order to wipe the tears from his eyes that were blurring his vision. Indiscriminate of appropriateness. No truer words had ever been written. He wondered if any other werewolf had ever been in a worse position than he was. He had mated with the absolute last person he should have, and there was nothing to be done about it, according to all sources.
The book had been plain about it: no known magic can break this connection, once it has been established. That made Remus shiver. He pulled his blanket around his shoulders and snuggled into it for warmth and comfort. Then he readied himself for the last bit: the werewolf is physically capable of taking other partners, despite his situation, but he does not establish the sort of bond he has with his mate.
There it was, then. That was all the hope he had. He was mated, bonded, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t still have relations with someone else. That didn’t mean he couldn’t appear to have a perfectly normal life now. That didn’t mean he was doomed to suffer. The problem was that there was so many still unknown. This book was the leading research volume in a subject that few cared to study and even fewer published in. And the researchers who wrote the book left him with many more questions than they answered. Nowhere did they discuss how it actually felt to mate for life-how strong that attraction was. They certainly did not discuss sort of magic that had been used to try to break the connection; how was Remus to know, then, what he should not bother with trying? And, most importantly, the book did not address what a werewolf should do if he had accidentally mated for life with someone inappropriate. This book was clinical, technical. There was no advice, no reassurance, no comfort to be found there.
“Remus? Come to bed?”
Remus closed the book. “One second, Pads.” He pulled the bookmark out of the book, disgusted by the whole thing and definitely not wanting to read it a third time. Remus parted the curtains around his four poster bed and slid off. With the blanket still around him, he headed over to Sirius’ bed and climbed in. Sirius was already performing a silencing spell that would provide at least a minimal amount of privacy. It was not as if their roommates did not know what they got up to; it was that Remus didn’t like them knowing exactly how he sounded when he got excited or reached orgasm. That was just inappropriate and unnecessary. He had a feeling James and Peter were more than happy with the situation as well.
Sirius stripped Remus of the blanket and fingered the man’s tie. “Are you cold, baby? Do you want me to keep you warm?”
A soft, embarrassed smile lit Remus’ face. Sirius Black was not known for original, creative dirty talk, and Remus had never had the heart to admit that to him. It didn’t much matter, though, as Sirius did not expect a direct reply. As he pulled Remus close and their bodies rubbed against each other, Sirius felt Remus’ hardness, and that was the only true response he needed.
Running his hands up under Remus’ white, button-down shirt, Sirius’ thigh worked Remus’ crotch, applying pressure, rubbing, encouraging. Remus never needed that much encouragement, and he enjoyed the quick way Sirius removed his clothing for him. When they were both very much naked, Sirius eased Remus back against the bed and pillows, moving in for a kiss or ten. Remus relaxed under the familiar touch and in the face of the familiar routine. First came undressing and fondling, then came kissing, and then came intercourse. It was always the same.
With his eyes closed, Remus sensed the progression, feeling Sirius’ hands racing over his body, feeling his lover’s tongue lapping, feeling the young man’s hard-on against his own tender thigh. Remus waited until he felt wetness. Then, when he was sure Sirius was leaking down there from excitement, Remus pulled away.
He saw a fleeting look of disappointment in Sirius’ eyes before Remus did what he needed to do and flipped over onto his chest. The disappointment, however great, was short-lived. It only took a moment for Sirius to perform the necessary lubrication and protection spells, making it possible for them to do as they wanted without fussing with muggle methods of birth control; Sirius had once laughed himself silly at the concept of a condom, though Remus thought maybe it hadn’t been described impartially at the time.
Remus exhaled and forced his body to relax as he felt Sirius probing his arse in a teasing, testing sort of way. Then, without warning, Sirius slipped inside. Sirius Black’s moan was incredible, and made Remus impossibly harder. He loved being able to do this, loved sharing this with someone he cared about, loved every bit of it from here on out.
The rhythm of thrusts, the motion of rocking, the soft grunts and moans of pleasure-it all kept Remus stimulated. He felt the orgasm start low inside his abdomen, rising swiftly and strongly. He was efficient when he masturbated, but after so many lovemaking sessions, Sirius knew just how to push his buttons, same as he knew himself.
“So close. Oh, so good. Are you good, Lupin?”
Remus nodded. “Hurry, Black,” he whispered. “Hurry, or I won’t be able to hang on. I want you to come inside me. I want you now.”
Sirius moaned again and Remus knew he was done for. With one strong, decisive thrust inward, Sirius threw himself forward, pressing himself down on Remus’ back. Remus was used to the weight and bore it, as expected. Sirius’ hair fell, sweeping in front of Remus’ turned head. Remus saw the dark black strands. And when it brushed against his nose, Remus inhaled the scent.
Feeling his orgasm grow, multiple, Remus plunged his hand beneath his pillowcase to feel the soft folds of cloth he kept there. It was then that Remus lost it, lost himself to the moans, lost his body to the rush, lost his mind to the intensity. He cried out, “Black!” and Sirius cried his name in return, and the two lay there until the last of their orgasms had left them.
When it was over, Sirius carefully pulled out and cleaned them, and Remus let go of the green cloth he had stashed under the pillow. Sirius had found it once and asked about it. Remus, who was prone to colds and the occasional allergy attack, had passed it off as an emergency handkerchief.
Sirius pulled him close, nuzzled him again like a dog, and then yanked the covers up over them. “Goodnight,” he whispered, giving another kiss, this one deep and memorable.
With his eyes already closed, Remus accepted the kiss, smiled, and drifted off in Sirius’ arms with a whispered, “Sweet dreams,” in reply.
In the morning, Remus was still sleepy. He pulled himself out of sleep and dragged himself to the showers. Sirius joined him a few minutes later, scrubbing and kissing and making Remus feel less ashamed of his body than he usually did when the lights could reveal his scars. Ever since the Marauders had joined him on full moon nights, exhausting him with adventures and plans, he had felt no reason to bite or scratch himself, so there were no new ones, either.
Feeling refreshed, he headed down to the Great Hall for breakfast. He and Sirius usually sat across the table from James, Peter, and Lily. But this time, all four Marauders sat on the same side, giving them a good view of the Slytherin table. And when the Slytherins reached for their silverware in order to eat breakfast, only to find each spoon, knife, and fork dissolving in their hands, James Potter led them all in a roar of laughter.
Sirius found Remus’ hand where it lay upon the table and squeezed it as he wiped tears of laughter from his eyes with his other hand. But Remus’ gaze was fixed upon the Slytherins, his stomach hurting magnificently. It was impossible to miss the fact that Black loved Lupin. It was evident in the way he sat, the way he acted, and the way he made love. And everyone knew that Lupin loved Black. What no one else realized, however, was that Remus had in fact mated for life, just like the books described. And for as long as he lived, Remus would forever be bonded with the true object of his affections: Black. Regulus Black.