(no subject)
This is the closest to the truth that I can get...
I've only been alive for a little while. Before that, I existed but I didn't know it yet and before that I was the memory of somebody else's consciousness, I was somewhere eating snack foods with army men, I was somewhere listening to Elvis with my daddy just like the other me did for most of her childhood. I am wind or something like it, I am a cat yelling, I am the weight of loss. I am all of those things. Today, I am Kate and I have an understandable identity and I can read and I type and have relationships with other humans and I have the feelings that I believe somewhere I used to be. I am undesirable to people, and loved by others. I am lost somewhere in the middle of a solid relationship because he hasn't ever loved me the same way. I'm not mad. I just don't know what to do. I have to get out of here.
I will not let someone else's inability to love me keep me from believing I can be loved.
Maybe my heart is not the one that's really broken...
I've only been alive for a little while. Before that, I existed but I didn't know it yet and before that I was the memory of somebody else's consciousness, I was somewhere eating snack foods with army men, I was somewhere listening to Elvis with my daddy just like the other me did for most of her childhood. I am wind or something like it, I am a cat yelling, I am the weight of loss. I am all of those things. Today, I am Kate and I have an understandable identity and I can read and I type and have relationships with other humans and I have the feelings that I believe somewhere I used to be. I am undesirable to people, and loved by others. I am lost somewhere in the middle of a solid relationship because he hasn't ever loved me the same way. I'm not mad. I just don't know what to do. I have to get out of here.
I will not let someone else's inability to love me keep me from believing I can be loved.
Maybe my heart is not the one that's really broken...