hard day

[katealee17]

humf.. lets just say today was one of the hardest days ive ever had to go through. i knew it was gunna be a pain in the ass. so it starts off erica was sick so i had to take the bus today which SUCKED! i get on the bus and there are these kids and they are saying this shit... oh i didnt know the kid that died but im gunna go to his funeral so i can get outta class... i swear i had to do everything to keep myself from flippin slappin those bitches, so that was the first thing that set me off. then i get into school and all im thinking is im not gunna cry im not gunna cry. go to homeroom, hold back the tears then i go to civics and im doing good til i see mr. cal bawling and then he takes ryan's portfolio folder and places it right on his desk and the whole class, including myself, starts bawling. so guidance comes in and talks us about the funeral and what not tomorrow and says they are following ryan's schduele all day and giving out this info. so im like okay im gunna have to hear this and start bawling every period. so during choir i go up to resource to talk with guidance with beck and it was so fucked up cus these people knew jack shit about him! biology get another talk from guidance but this time i leave cus i cant take it... mind you ive been bawling since 1st period and its not 3rd and my eyes are swelling and all red and are completely soar. so i go to mrs. m's and mr. jones's rooms and just sit there. man i love mrs. m shes like you know what always makes you feel better... chocolate and takes out this huge container of chocolate so i eat it lol. then i go to spanish, it was easier to handle and i stopped crying. go to algebra, start bawling again and then by english i couldnt cry anymore... my eyes were in so much pain i couldnt cry anymore. i didnt even bother going to gym, i got a pass and went to mrs. m's room with jackie and ate more chocolate, it helped a little. even though i was crying all dya today i still couldnt believe he was gone, the whole day i kept thinking ohs hes just absent, he'll be back tomorrow bugging me to copy my english homework.. but he wont. so it really is gunna hit me tomorrow at the funeral, its gunna hit hard. my mom is going to drop me and steph off at the service. i dont wanna go with the school. i dont wanna be part of that walk with the kids that are going just because they get to miss class. i dont wanna be associated with that. well... we'll see how it goes tomorrow, hopefully it wont be that bad....

only the purest of souls make it into heaven -R.I.P Ryan Olson 11*5*04-