Memories of Audra...
The timing of our little party in Monaco really couldn't have been worse. Back on US soil three days before the massive gathering in Atlanta, I didn't have the time to properly heal, much less prepare myself to mix with hundreds of kindred in polite and proper society. Not to mention the information we've gained about the Strix. Would it serve to arm us better, or would it damn us forever? I had to talk to Audra.
I caught her going down the hallway of the gallery, though I barely had the courage to speak up. I just watched her for several long minutes as she elegantly bent over a table, speaking with Corinne, gazing over a new piece of art. She hadn't changed since I was a child. Lovely. Perfect. Warm. She looked like home and childhood and the mother I never knew. For a moment I just stood there and remembered better times...
The adults were talking. They were always talking. Secreted away behind heavy, expensive, closed doors in upper state New York, the adults rarely had time for the children, even the ones they had birthed. Some only ever came in the night, and while I knew mother and father were important, they seemed humble in comparison to our other visitors. I never understood. But I wanted to know. I always wanted to know.
Quietly having abandoned Bianca to some frivolous doll or scrap of silk, I slipped down the hallway in the middle of the night. A beautiful laugh came up from the stairs below, the sort of laugh that just made you smile being near it. Aunt Audra was here. I loved Audra. She wouldn't turn me out of the room, not like my mother. She liked me being there. But first, I wanted to know what they were talking about.
Slowly, I crept to the staircase on slippered, silent feet. I knelt there in the shadows, holding my breath to listen, praying neither of my sisters missed my presence. "Well, the damned Carthians are just going to have to remember who RUNS this world. The First Estate. And if they cannot learn their place then we will have to teach it to them. I do hope you were not planning on shifting your service, Anne. We do rely on your family so."
They were speaking to my mother again. I didn't even know she had come back from her trip yet. She'd never said hello. "Of course not. And the girls too. We would never leave the service of the Invictus. I just wish they'd grow up already. They're so useless when they're young, I wish we -"
Something cut her off. The man's voice interrupted fiercely, "Speaking of, I do not think we are alone. Come here, little girl. Which of you is it...?" I hated him. He only ever came to boss my mother around and we weren't anyone's servants! We were the Crassus family!
I caught sight of a shock of blonde hair and soon it was Audra at the base of the stairs. Before the man or my mother could yell, I was running down towards the woman and her lovely polka dotted dress. "Audra! Audra. I just wanted to see you. I heard voices, and I didn't know mother was home, and I thought you were down here and no one ever tells me anything an -" I was cut off by a tight hug as I was swept up against the woman's hips, drowning in silk, and cool, soft arms and the sweetest of perfume. I wrapped my arms tight around her neck and buried my nose against her hair. "I missed you." I whispered. I hadn't said that to my mother in years. I didn't know my mother well enough to miss.
"Oh, Katie, I missed you too. I would have come up, but you know us! Work, work, work! And really, why would you care about work? It's so boring. Come now. I'll tuck you in right and maybe tomorrow we can get some coffee, if I'm still in town." I hated being sent out of the room. I barely heard what was going on and I wanted to know! But the safety of Audra's arms was drowsily alluring. For all my eight years of age, I still didn't have the stamina to stay up through the night.
I looked up from her hair, gazing across her shoulder at my mother and the older man with whom she spoke. They both stared at me with equal disdain. I'll never forget that look in my mother's eyes. She gave it often. It was like I was some pet who pissed on the rug. I hid myself against Audra's neck again and tried not to cry. I didn't care if mother was home. I wanted Audra to tuck me in anyway.
"I'll just put Katie to bed and be back down stairs. You both continue, if you wish. I won't be long." She assured the other pair who promptly turned back to business, this time taking it to the office down the hall. Quietly, Audra carried me up the stairs to my private bedroom. We'd done this many times over. It always felt so nice.
I was half asleep by the time she freed one arm from my back to pull down the expensive sheets on my canopied bed. "Alright, Katie. Now, I know you want to hear what is going on, but sometimes it's really just very boring. You go to bed and I promise I'll try to stay for tomorrow night too. If they let me stay, I'll be here. But you have to sleep for me, or they won't let me stay. Promise?"
"I promise." I murmured, fighting heavy eyes already. The last thing I remember is the press of her cold, soft lips against my forehead and then the warm embrace of blankets. It was the safest I'd felt in a long time. I hope she'd be there tomorrow.
The memory left as quietly pleasant as it came. I hadn't thought about it for ages, but now seeing Audra almost every day brought those times back. I didn't need the blood to feel loyalty to this woman. I loved her. I always had. And here I was to bring her the worst news in the world. She'd suffered so much. So many lovers lost, so much of her family gone, a war fought, and betrayals all around. I knew her life had not been easy. I barely had the heart to tell her more bad news. But I didn't have the heart to lie to her. I never would.
I crossed the gallery quietly, clearing my throat when I neared the ladies. "Audra... we have to talk..."
I caught her going down the hallway of the gallery, though I barely had the courage to speak up. I just watched her for several long minutes as she elegantly bent over a table, speaking with Corinne, gazing over a new piece of art. She hadn't changed since I was a child. Lovely. Perfect. Warm. She looked like home and childhood and the mother I never knew. For a moment I just stood there and remembered better times...
The adults were talking. They were always talking. Secreted away behind heavy, expensive, closed doors in upper state New York, the adults rarely had time for the children, even the ones they had birthed. Some only ever came in the night, and while I knew mother and father were important, they seemed humble in comparison to our other visitors. I never understood. But I wanted to know. I always wanted to know.
Quietly having abandoned Bianca to some frivolous doll or scrap of silk, I slipped down the hallway in the middle of the night. A beautiful laugh came up from the stairs below, the sort of laugh that just made you smile being near it. Aunt Audra was here. I loved Audra. She wouldn't turn me out of the room, not like my mother. She liked me being there. But first, I wanted to know what they were talking about.
Slowly, I crept to the staircase on slippered, silent feet. I knelt there in the shadows, holding my breath to listen, praying neither of my sisters missed my presence. "Well, the damned Carthians are just going to have to remember who RUNS this world. The First Estate. And if they cannot learn their place then we will have to teach it to them. I do hope you were not planning on shifting your service, Anne. We do rely on your family so."
They were speaking to my mother again. I didn't even know she had come back from her trip yet. She'd never said hello. "Of course not. And the girls too. We would never leave the service of the Invictus. I just wish they'd grow up already. They're so useless when they're young, I wish we -"
Something cut her off. The man's voice interrupted fiercely, "Speaking of, I do not think we are alone. Come here, little girl. Which of you is it...?" I hated him. He only ever came to boss my mother around and we weren't anyone's servants! We were the Crassus family!
I caught sight of a shock of blonde hair and soon it was Audra at the base of the stairs. Before the man or my mother could yell, I was running down towards the woman and her lovely polka dotted dress. "Audra! Audra. I just wanted to see you. I heard voices, and I didn't know mother was home, and I thought you were down here and no one ever tells me anything an -" I was cut off by a tight hug as I was swept up against the woman's hips, drowning in silk, and cool, soft arms and the sweetest of perfume. I wrapped my arms tight around her neck and buried my nose against her hair. "I missed you." I whispered. I hadn't said that to my mother in years. I didn't know my mother well enough to miss.
"Oh, Katie, I missed you too. I would have come up, but you know us! Work, work, work! And really, why would you care about work? It's so boring. Come now. I'll tuck you in right and maybe tomorrow we can get some coffee, if I'm still in town." I hated being sent out of the room. I barely heard what was going on and I wanted to know! But the safety of Audra's arms was drowsily alluring. For all my eight years of age, I still didn't have the stamina to stay up through the night.
I looked up from her hair, gazing across her shoulder at my mother and the older man with whom she spoke. They both stared at me with equal disdain. I'll never forget that look in my mother's eyes. She gave it often. It was like I was some pet who pissed on the rug. I hid myself against Audra's neck again and tried not to cry. I didn't care if mother was home. I wanted Audra to tuck me in anyway.
"I'll just put Katie to bed and be back down stairs. You both continue, if you wish. I won't be long." She assured the other pair who promptly turned back to business, this time taking it to the office down the hall. Quietly, Audra carried me up the stairs to my private bedroom. We'd done this many times over. It always felt so nice.
I was half asleep by the time she freed one arm from my back to pull down the expensive sheets on my canopied bed. "Alright, Katie. Now, I know you want to hear what is going on, but sometimes it's really just very boring. You go to bed and I promise I'll try to stay for tomorrow night too. If they let me stay, I'll be here. But you have to sleep for me, or they won't let me stay. Promise?"
"I promise." I murmured, fighting heavy eyes already. The last thing I remember is the press of her cold, soft lips against my forehead and then the warm embrace of blankets. It was the safest I'd felt in a long time. I hope she'd be there tomorrow.
The memory left as quietly pleasant as it came. I hadn't thought about it for ages, but now seeing Audra almost every day brought those times back. I didn't need the blood to feel loyalty to this woman. I loved her. I always had. And here I was to bring her the worst news in the world. She'd suffered so much. So many lovers lost, so much of her family gone, a war fought, and betrayals all around. I knew her life had not been easy. I barely had the heart to tell her more bad news. But I didn't have the heart to lie to her. I never would.
I crossed the gallery quietly, clearing my throat when I neared the ladies. "Audra... we have to talk..."