Keeping it in the Family,Part III
"...Well...I hope it's a relief compared to what you're overactive imagination WAS thinking."
I watched him catch himself to present some of the red wine from dousing all over my couch. What a gentleman. "I don't really know where I thought you'd be going tonight, but that sure wasn't it." He reached down, splaying his hand across the couch cushion as if he was checking it for bounce. He could barely hold back a laugh. "Should we go right here, or did you have someplace else in mind?"
Now it was my turn to choke on my wine, half coughing as he dared to ask such a thing. I couldn't even tell if he was serious or joking. I stared at him, eyes wide, trying not to laugh nervously as that blush once more crept up my cheeks. Dammit, he knew how to make me blush. "Fuck you... I didn't mean... tonight! I mean... I didn't think so..." I grinned wirly at him.
He laughed another moment, but then I heard it fade away. I watched his face turn solemnly serious, even if his eyes still remained warm. He stared straight at me. "Listen, I don't mean to make light of this. It's obviously a big deal. But we stuck by each other in the old days, and we'll stick by each other now." He grinned, unable to hold back the punchline. "If you need a baby daddy, I'm here for you."
I turned serious myself, watching that devil-may-care smile fall off his handsmoe face as he levelled with me. I listened, earnest, quiet, a little bit hopeful, only looking away to light up another cigarette. However, his last words drew my eyes back and a smirking grin to my lips. "...You're so damn romantic, Wil, you know that?" I teased lightly, trying to break some of the emotional tension, but there was a husky tightness to my voice that just wasn't there before. The sweet bastard was going to make me cry.
He laughed. "Look, you're too good a friend for me to let you fall in love with me, just because you finally get me in bed after all these years of trying..." He winked again, sipping at his wine.
I rolled my eyes, reaching across the space between us to cuff at his shoulder playfully. Just like the old days. "In your dreams, Wil. I remember those looks at the formal dance back in grade 8... You're just lucky you're finally getting your shot." I winked back at him, dragging off my cigarette once more.
"Alright, I've got you smiling. That was the prime directive here. But seriously - you carry a kid to term, and then what? Hand him over at birth? And that's it?"
That question made the smile fall right back off my face. I sighed, rubbing a hand across my eyes as I considered it. "...I... don't know. I guess so. Just like us going to school...can't stay in one school too long. Or one place. The... the normal families notice. I guess the family has... Plans. I don't fucking know..." And suddenly, my voice was tight again. Scared. This entire thing scared me and I hated it.
"Alright, let's just throw this out there for shits & giggles. What if you say no?"
I looked away from him at that, not wanting shame to show in my eyes. I watched, instead, the burning embers at the tip of my cigarette. Something else I'd have to give up if this all came to pass. "A few things could happen. They could withdraw the deal which allows me to belong to Audra instead of this bunch of Tafia my sisters and I were originally meant for... If I fought that... fuck, they're Crassus. They could make me a non person. Take away my bank account, social security... my whole existence. I'd lose my job... everything..." And my job was everything. He could, no doubt, hear it in my voice. The NYPD was all I really had left of the woman who I used to be. Who I wanted to be. The woman who could change he world for the better. "...or... they'd take the punishment out on my sisters instead... who are willing, cooperative victims where as I am not. They will take the fall for me. As they have before." At that, I couldn't hide the shame from my tone.
"Bottom line - what do you want to do?"
"...That... is not an answer you want to hear... "
He furrowed his brow at me. "As opposed to 'please impregnate me, Wil?' C'mon, this is me you're talking to. What do you want to do?"
I stared up at him from beneath my free hand that rested against my forehead/temples..."I want to go back to a year ago... before I ever thought of marrying that fuck Peter and getting drawn back into any of this society. Just disappear back to the LAPD... forget any of this happened. But I can't... and there's been good things too. Like... seeing you again." I smiled up at him, a bit softer this time. "It has been good to see you."
"Naturally." He flashed that crooked grin.
"But... since time machines haven't been invented... I want to remain working on remaking a life here. With Audra... Evan... hell... You, now, since I know you're around. Keep my job at the NYPD. I love it there. It's still the work I love... and if I have to... to have a kid... to make peace with the family, then we do it right. I'm not talkin' about two point five kids, a pickett fence and a dog... but... I want to be there for her. Or him. No matter where that kid is... at least let her know her parents. Know that someone loves her in this fucked up family." I lost him with those words. He zoned out, quietly, staring at his wine glass instead of at me. "...Talk to me, Wil....what's on your mind?" I prodded softly, hoping I hadn't fucked this up.
His voice came, quieter than before, eyes still drowning in his wine glass. "I dunno. It's one thing when you're asking me for the seed, you know? But different to think about...actually being a father. You know?"
"...I know. And that... that's nothing I have any right to ask. You don't have to... but if the family lets me, I plan to. I barely ever saw my mother. I hated her for it... hated her. I don't want to be that woman."
"..yeah.." SIlence fell between us. I poured out what was left of the second bottle of wine.
"Think about it. I mean... yeah. We... we certainly don't have to arrange this... Tonight."
"We could always practice. Make sure we get it right when the time comes." He stifled a bit of a laugh, trying to clear the tension.
Dammit, he was making me blush again. I stared, trying to figure out if he was joking. "You... you're joking... Right?"
"Of course I'm joking! The tension's been there for how many years? Why open the flood gates now? "Besides, didn't you say you were married?"
I sagged in almost relief, though there wass a touch of disappointment somewhere there. Indeed.. twenty years of tension behind us, starting from when we were teenagers? It was more than a bit tempting. Instead, I lit up another cigarette. "...I was... it was... Annulled. About a month ago. Now... there's someone... Evan, whom I mentioned... one of the kindred. I'm not certain if that's ever a good idea but... Damned if he's not enjoyable." I admitted with a warm, flushed smile. Just thinking about the man made me relax a touch. Evan. My damnation and my salvation. We... we shall see what time brings, you know?"
"Yeah, I know. Sounds good."
"And you? Any special lady who is gonna claw my eyes out for even suggesting this mess?" I asked almost hopefully. If he was taken, it'd make all this rather cleaner. Simply a business transaction then.
"Nah. I've been married to the job, lately. Enjoying what New York has to offer..."
"Well then... I'd say consider this as... all the benefits of marriage without the annoyances, but... Somehow I think it's working the opposite." I laughed in apology.
He finally nodded, quiet, eyes back on his glass. "Kate, you know I'm there for you. If this is what you decide you need to do, then it's what we do."
I gulped the last dregs of my wine. "I got... well... days to decide. Or they'll decide for me. Whatever that means. If... if you're truly willing... I think it's decided, Wil. I trust you. I... I'd rather it you than most anyone... as dubious an honour as it might be."
"Alright, let the family know. And if it's really too awkward, there are alternative ways to make it happen. Otherwise, we'll have a tumble."
I half smiled again, meeting his crooked, roguish grin. "I... I was rather assuming we'd just go the scientific route but... let me... Talk to Evan. If... if he's alright with it... I suppose we much as well get some enjoyment out of it... also... God... this is fucking awkward, isn't it?"
He shook his head reassuringly. "No, the scientific route really is the way to go." He laughed. "I just had to make fun - it's not often I'll have an opportunity like this."
I rolled my eyes, swatting at him again with my stockinged foot. "if you weren't doing me a bigger favour that ANYONE ever has a right to ask, I'd sock you one, you know that?" I shot him a glare over the rim of my empty wine glass.
"Yeah, I think I've earned a few digs, don't you?"
"More than a few. You're about three feet towards six feet under after this conversation." I grinned. At least he was good at bringing my smile back. And he just gave that careless, warm, you-can't-stay-mad-at-me shrug.
..."Fucker." I stated flatly, with teasing heart behind my voice.
"You know, this is more than a two bottle conversation. I would've been far less mouthy if we were three or four in."
The rest of the night fell to small talk, and some planning of logistcs. There was a family doctor up north. His end of the deal would be easy. Go in, blood work verified, samples taken, a day at most. The appointment was arranged for the following week. And, of course, with the plan in place, we broke into the wine cabinet. It turned out to be a four bottle night after all.