Fic: I Never Had The Words (Niam - T) One-shot
Title: I Never Had The Words
Pairing: Niam
Rating: T
Warnings: Language
Summary: Liam never had the words to tell Niall how he felt... Until now.
A/N: For CarrotNinja's One Direction One-Shot Challenge!
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.
Banner by MrsNiallJames.
Niall nuzzled his head against my shoulder, whimpering softly in his sleep. Both of his arms were locked tight around my waist. I stared at the clock on the wall, willing the second hand to cease moving altogether. This one moment was not perfect, but in this one moment Niall was mine.
I tilted his head back, carefully so as not to wake him, and studied his face. I thought every inch of him was utter perfection, though he would never believe me if I told him so. His soft blonde eyelashes were still dewy with his tears. He’d fought so hard against them at first, angrily brushing them away from his face. He’d felt so ashamed of them that he’d eventually just buried his face into my chest. I’d let him hide his tears from my eyes, but he couldn’t hide them from me entirely. My heart ached as they soaked through the front of my shirt instead.
“How could he do this to you?” I whispered, brushing back his blonde hair from his forehead to plant a gentle kiss on his brow. “How could Justin break you like this?”
I did blame Justin for every ounce of pain Niall was experiencing. Niall had dealt with insecurity prior to dating Justin, but Justin had taken whatever self-esteem Niall had and completely ripped it apart. Niall had an elevated image of Justin in his mind; I, alone, saw the truth. Justin had used Niall as a tool to promote his career. He didn’t love Niall the way I did.
Their relationship had begun 6 months ago. The spread of ‘Bieber fever’ was beginning to slow, but One Direction’s fan base was growing exceptionally fast. It was difficult to go anywhere nowadays without flocks of screaming girls begging for our attention. When Justin asked Niall out, I tried to be happy for my friend. After all, Niall had idolized Justin for years. Yet, I found it difficult to ignore the fact that Justin was suddenly relevant once again since he was dating a member of One Direction.
I didn’t realize how much Niall was struggling with his relationship at first. Whenever he and Justin were out in public, Niall was never left wanting for affection. Justin appeared, in nearly every aspect, to be the perfect boyfriend. He showered Niall with little compliments in all of his interviews. He held Niall’s hand proudly at public events. He even asked Niall to move in with him after only 3 months, which I took as a sure sign that things were going well.
But there was trouble in paradise. I knew that now.
~~~~
There was a knock at the door. It was 1 in the morning. Who the hell would be visiting at 1 in the morning? Grumbling, I pulled myself out of bed and threw on a t-shirt with my boxers. “Coming!” I called out, padding across the hardwood floor to my front door. I peeked through the peep hole. Niall.
I opened the door and immediately my heart skipped. Niall was hugging himself, trembling and trying to maintain composure. His eyes remained focus on the floor at my feet. “Liam, can I stay the night?”
“Of course. What a stupid question. You’re always welcome.” I ushered him inside, sitting him down on the sofa. “Are you alright? Can I get you anything? What do you need?” I pulled a few blankets out of an old wicker chest, setting them beside him. “Do you want something to drink? Water? Coke? I think I still have some beer in the fridge…”
Niall was silent. I knew I was going overboard babying him, but in that instant he looked so small, so helpless. He chewed at his bottom lip, staring blankly out my living room window.
“Niall,” I whispered, taking the cushion next to him. “Niall.” His blue eyes finally met mine. “Can you please tell me what’s wrong?”
His chin quivered, and the first tear slipped out. It curled down his cheek, dripping off the slight dimple in his chin into his lap. The second tear followed. “I thought he loved me,” was all he said.
“Justin loves you, Nialler.” The words sounded forced. Niall gave me a pained look, sniffling as tear three seeped out from his eyes. My words weren’t fooling either of us.
“I should’ve known he didn’t feel the same,” he said. “At night, he would pull away when I tried to hold him. He made himself so distant.”
I shifted my body closer to his, shrinking the distance between us, and put one arm over his shoulders. I took both of his hands in my free one and gave them a sympathetic squeeze. “I’m sorry, Niall. I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything,” he replied softly. “I just want to sit here with you.”
Neither of us spoke for some time. I focused on Niall’s slow and slightly unsteady breathing. He had seemed to calm down a little, but his blank stare still had me worried. Something had happened that caused him to snap. What could’ve happened between him and Justin to fuck him up like this?
“I should go,” he said finally, starting to get up from the sofa.
“Like hell you should. You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on.”
“Oh, fuck off, Liam,” he said, pulling away from me. “I need to make sure I haven’t ruined things completely with Justin.”
“You’d go back to him?” I asked, my voice laced with anger. “Look at what he’s fucking done to you, Niall.”
“Maybe I rushed things,” Niall said, still moving toward the door. “Maybe I just fell too quickly.”
“No. Wait,” I said, catching Niall’s hand. “Wait. I’m sorry. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, but I just want to make sure you’re alright. Please stay.”
Niall caved easily, sinking back down onto the sofa. “How would you respond if someone told you they loved you?” he whispered. He asked the question so quietly that it took me a moment to realize exactly what he had asked.
“If I loved them, I would tell them. I would make sure they knew how I felt.”
“Do you know what Justin said?” Niall was fighting the tears again; this time they were more relentless. Four, five, six, seven - streaming down his face. His nose was running now, as well. “Oh.”
“Oh?”
“Fucking, ‘oh.’ That’s what he said.” Niall wiped his nose on his sleeve. “I mean, that has to be some sort of record. Worst response to a confession of love? I would’ve taken a bloody ‘thank you’ over his stupid ‘oh.’”
“Maybe it just came as a shock to him,” I suggested without much hope.
“No. He barely reacted at all. I just needed to hear him say ‘I love you’ back, but he went right on sorting his fan mail.”
I threw my arms around my friend, the boy I loved more than anyone else in the world, and held him as he cried. He turned his face away from me, at first. “I don’t want you to see me like this.” I nudged his face back to face mine, wiping away a few tears with my thumb. I wanted him to know that he didn’t have to hide from me. Ever. I would always be there for him.
~~~~
I never had the words to tell Niall how I felt about him. I wasn’t sure my feelings could ever be put into words, even if the most gifted author had attempted to pen them. He was everything to me. My oxygen. My purpose and meaning. My reason. Without Niall, there was no life for me.
I always wished I had the words to tell Niall how I felt. When he began dating Justin, I tried to convince myself that my feelings for him no longer mattered. He had found his happiness with someone else. Almost all hope I had of being with Niall had evaporated. But as I held him in my arms, I couldn’t help but tend to that sliver of hope that remained. He had been hurt, and he had been damaged. But I was certain I could love him more than Justin if he would give me the chance. I could fix him.
He stirred, massaging his cheek against my chest. My heart stuttered at his touch, and I couldn’t resist running my hand through his shaggy blonde hair. “Are you awake?” His eyelids fluttered open in response.
“Morning, Liam,” he murmured groggily. With one hand, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.
“Morning, Nialler.” I smoothed back his hair, pecking him on the forehead. As I looked into his bright blue eyes, I realized I had all the words I needed to tell Niall how I felt. I’d had them all along. I merely lacked the courage to say them.
Four little words. Simple, but effective.
My lips were on Niall’s. Tenderly, I kissed him. “I love you, Niall.”
Pairing: Niam
Rating: T
Warnings: Language
Summary: Liam never had the words to tell Niall how he felt... Until now.
A/N: For CarrotNinja's One Direction One-Shot Challenge!
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.
Banner by MrsNiallJames.
Niall nuzzled his head against my shoulder, whimpering softly in his sleep. Both of his arms were locked tight around my waist. I stared at the clock on the wall, willing the second hand to cease moving altogether. This one moment was not perfect, but in this one moment Niall was mine.
I tilted his head back, carefully so as not to wake him, and studied his face. I thought every inch of him was utter perfection, though he would never believe me if I told him so. His soft blonde eyelashes were still dewy with his tears. He’d fought so hard against them at first, angrily brushing them away from his face. He’d felt so ashamed of them that he’d eventually just buried his face into my chest. I’d let him hide his tears from my eyes, but he couldn’t hide them from me entirely. My heart ached as they soaked through the front of my shirt instead.
“How could he do this to you?” I whispered, brushing back his blonde hair from his forehead to plant a gentle kiss on his brow. “How could Justin break you like this?”
I did blame Justin for every ounce of pain Niall was experiencing. Niall had dealt with insecurity prior to dating Justin, but Justin had taken whatever self-esteem Niall had and completely ripped it apart. Niall had an elevated image of Justin in his mind; I, alone, saw the truth. Justin had used Niall as a tool to promote his career. He didn’t love Niall the way I did.
Their relationship had begun 6 months ago. The spread of ‘Bieber fever’ was beginning to slow, but One Direction’s fan base was growing exceptionally fast. It was difficult to go anywhere nowadays without flocks of screaming girls begging for our attention. When Justin asked Niall out, I tried to be happy for my friend. After all, Niall had idolized Justin for years. Yet, I found it difficult to ignore the fact that Justin was suddenly relevant once again since he was dating a member of One Direction.
I didn’t realize how much Niall was struggling with his relationship at first. Whenever he and Justin were out in public, Niall was never left wanting for affection. Justin appeared, in nearly every aspect, to be the perfect boyfriend. He showered Niall with little compliments in all of his interviews. He held Niall’s hand proudly at public events. He even asked Niall to move in with him after only 3 months, which I took as a sure sign that things were going well.
But there was trouble in paradise. I knew that now.
~~~~
There was a knock at the door. It was 1 in the morning. Who the hell would be visiting at 1 in the morning? Grumbling, I pulled myself out of bed and threw on a t-shirt with my boxers. “Coming!” I called out, padding across the hardwood floor to my front door. I peeked through the peep hole. Niall.
I opened the door and immediately my heart skipped. Niall was hugging himself, trembling and trying to maintain composure. His eyes remained focus on the floor at my feet. “Liam, can I stay the night?”
“Of course. What a stupid question. You’re always welcome.” I ushered him inside, sitting him down on the sofa. “Are you alright? Can I get you anything? What do you need?” I pulled a few blankets out of an old wicker chest, setting them beside him. “Do you want something to drink? Water? Coke? I think I still have some beer in the fridge…”
Niall was silent. I knew I was going overboard babying him, but in that instant he looked so small, so helpless. He chewed at his bottom lip, staring blankly out my living room window.
“Niall,” I whispered, taking the cushion next to him. “Niall.” His blue eyes finally met mine. “Can you please tell me what’s wrong?”
His chin quivered, and the first tear slipped out. It curled down his cheek, dripping off the slight dimple in his chin into his lap. The second tear followed. “I thought he loved me,” was all he said.
“Justin loves you, Nialler.” The words sounded forced. Niall gave me a pained look, sniffling as tear three seeped out from his eyes. My words weren’t fooling either of us.
“I should’ve known he didn’t feel the same,” he said. “At night, he would pull away when I tried to hold him. He made himself so distant.”
I shifted my body closer to his, shrinking the distance between us, and put one arm over his shoulders. I took both of his hands in my free one and gave them a sympathetic squeeze. “I’m sorry, Niall. I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything,” he replied softly. “I just want to sit here with you.”
Neither of us spoke for some time. I focused on Niall’s slow and slightly unsteady breathing. He had seemed to calm down a little, but his blank stare still had me worried. Something had happened that caused him to snap. What could’ve happened between him and Justin to fuck him up like this?
“I should go,” he said finally, starting to get up from the sofa.
“Like hell you should. You’re not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on.”
“Oh, fuck off, Liam,” he said, pulling away from me. “I need to make sure I haven’t ruined things completely with Justin.”
“You’d go back to him?” I asked, my voice laced with anger. “Look at what he’s fucking done to you, Niall.”
“Maybe I rushed things,” Niall said, still moving toward the door. “Maybe I just fell too quickly.”
“No. Wait,” I said, catching Niall’s hand. “Wait. I’m sorry. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, but I just want to make sure you’re alright. Please stay.”
Niall caved easily, sinking back down onto the sofa. “How would you respond if someone told you they loved you?” he whispered. He asked the question so quietly that it took me a moment to realize exactly what he had asked.
“If I loved them, I would tell them. I would make sure they knew how I felt.”
“Do you know what Justin said?” Niall was fighting the tears again; this time they were more relentless. Four, five, six, seven - streaming down his face. His nose was running now, as well. “Oh.”
“Oh?”
“Fucking, ‘oh.’ That’s what he said.” Niall wiped his nose on his sleeve. “I mean, that has to be some sort of record. Worst response to a confession of love? I would’ve taken a bloody ‘thank you’ over his stupid ‘oh.’”
“Maybe it just came as a shock to him,” I suggested without much hope.
“No. He barely reacted at all. I just needed to hear him say ‘I love you’ back, but he went right on sorting his fan mail.”
I threw my arms around my friend, the boy I loved more than anyone else in the world, and held him as he cried. He turned his face away from me, at first. “I don’t want you to see me like this.” I nudged his face back to face mine, wiping away a few tears with my thumb. I wanted him to know that he didn’t have to hide from me. Ever. I would always be there for him.
~~~~
I never had the words to tell Niall how I felt about him. I wasn’t sure my feelings could ever be put into words, even if the most gifted author had attempted to pen them. He was everything to me. My oxygen. My purpose and meaning. My reason. Without Niall, there was no life for me.
I always wished I had the words to tell Niall how I felt. When he began dating Justin, I tried to convince myself that my feelings for him no longer mattered. He had found his happiness with someone else. Almost all hope I had of being with Niall had evaporated. But as I held him in my arms, I couldn’t help but tend to that sliver of hope that remained. He had been hurt, and he had been damaged. But I was certain I could love him more than Justin if he would give me the chance. I could fix him.
He stirred, massaging his cheek against my chest. My heart stuttered at his touch, and I couldn’t resist running my hand through his shaggy blonde hair. “Are you awake?” His eyelids fluttered open in response.
“Morning, Liam,” he murmured groggily. With one hand, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.
“Morning, Nialler.” I smoothed back his hair, pecking him on the forehead. As I looked into his bright blue eyes, I realized I had all the words I needed to tell Niall how I felt. I’d had them all along. I merely lacked the courage to say them.
Four little words. Simple, but effective.
My lips were on Niall’s. Tenderly, I kissed him. “I love you, Niall.”