Forget Regret (Drabble)
Title: Forget Regret
Rating: PG
Word Count: 840
Warnings: Modern AU
Summary: Will knows what he's lost... but what he's gained is far more important.
Notes: Written for Round 1 Challenge 3 at camelot_fics.
Forget Regret
Will watched them, their shoulders and knees touching and the familiar looks of longing passing between them, and he made a conscious effort to keep his features indifferent, even though all he wanted to do was stomp (not at all like a child) over there, let his fingers slide into his dark, silky hair and make him remember what they'd had together. What they'd been before it had all fallen apart. What they'd had before Merlin had left - gone to find himself - and Will hadn't followed.
And Will knew that, no matter what had changed over the years, that would be his dying regret - that he hadn't followed. Because, when Will hadn't gone off to beg Merlin to come back home, he had found someone else. Merlin had found Arthur.
"You okay?" Freya's hand touched his gently and Will tore his eyes away from Merlin to look at his wife.
Will nodded, and let a smile touch his lips. "Yeah. Of course," he said, "Just thinking."
Freya, bless her, knew that it was more than that, but was a strong enough woman and held enough faith in their marriage to disregard Will's moments, and she smiled at him. "Well, enough thinking," she chided lightly. "You have a very enthusiastic little one to watch kick around a football."
Will's smile grew, before he let his eyes wander out onto the field to watch the children run back and forth. He had been lucky to find Freya in a time of his life when he had started to believe there was no light left in the world. Freya had been his light, a bright spot in the darkness, and he had been grateful to have her every day since.
And if her light had been a little dimmer than Merlin's, Will knew it was just because it was a softer light, because she was a softer person. And if his heart had argued with his head a bit when he'd asked her to marry him, Will had known it was really just nerves, because he was finally letting go of one part of his life for another, more important one. And if, when times like today came around, his mind wandered to what could have been, Will knew that it would fade again as soon as he was out of Merlin's presence, because that wasn't his life anymore.
He watched his dark-haired, dark-eyed daughter run around after the football with the other 5- and 6-year-olds and felt his heart melt when he saw her wide, vibrant smile. Faylynn looked so much like her mother that it was sometimes hard to tell that he had any hand in her creation. That was until she opened her mouth. The poor thing had been blessed with his lack of tact… and that was not a good thing when children were already less than tactful.
She had, of course, also inherited his fighting spirit (that's what he liked to tell Freya it was). And Will chuckled as he watched Faylynn stiff-arm a little blond-haired, blue-eyed boy right in the chest, and tried not to think about the fact that Jackson Pendragon was Arthur and Merlin's son.
The truth is that Will can't go back and change things, so there's no point in dwelling on the past. All the plans that he and Merlin had made together were gone and, if Will really thought about it, they never were part of his recurring dreams. They only reared their ugly heads when Will was in Merlin's presence - and each time it happened, Will was observant enough to know that they were having less and less impact on his resolve.
Will's dreams and plans and life now revolved around Freya and Faylynn. His family. His girls. They were who mattered to Will. They were who he lived for.
And even if it hadn't seemed fair that he and Freya had somehow ended up in the same small town as Merlin and his family, Will knew that it was just another test in his life… another moment to make him even more of a man. Will may regret letting Merlin walk away, but maybe… well, maybe everything did happen for a reason.
Letting Merlin walk away was a regret, Will could admit, but Will would regret it even more if he didn't have these moments right now. This was what his dreams were made of and would be until the day he died.
Freya's hand slipped through the crook of Will's elbow and tightened. "Look!" she whispered. And Will was looking. He watched Faylynn maneuver the ball like a genius past three of the other teams players, Jackson included. She was only five, but she was a pro in the making.
He tightened his hand on Freya's and watched Faylynn kick the ball with all her pint-sized might and it slipped into the corner of the goal. And when that little girl looked, eyes full of wonder and a wide smile on her face, no one cheered louder than Will.
Rating: PG
Word Count: 840
Warnings: Modern AU
Summary: Will knows what he's lost... but what he's gained is far more important.
Notes: Written for Round 1 Challenge 3 at camelot_fics.
Forget Regret
Will watched them, their shoulders and knees touching and the familiar looks of longing passing between them, and he made a conscious effort to keep his features indifferent, even though all he wanted to do was stomp (not at all like a child) over there, let his fingers slide into his dark, silky hair and make him remember what they'd had together. What they'd been before it had all fallen apart. What they'd had before Merlin had left - gone to find himself - and Will hadn't followed.
And Will knew that, no matter what had changed over the years, that would be his dying regret - that he hadn't followed. Because, when Will hadn't gone off to beg Merlin to come back home, he had found someone else. Merlin had found Arthur.
"You okay?" Freya's hand touched his gently and Will tore his eyes away from Merlin to look at his wife.
Will nodded, and let a smile touch his lips. "Yeah. Of course," he said, "Just thinking."
Freya, bless her, knew that it was more than that, but was a strong enough woman and held enough faith in their marriage to disregard Will's moments, and she smiled at him. "Well, enough thinking," she chided lightly. "You have a very enthusiastic little one to watch kick around a football."
Will's smile grew, before he let his eyes wander out onto the field to watch the children run back and forth. He had been lucky to find Freya in a time of his life when he had started to believe there was no light left in the world. Freya had been his light, a bright spot in the darkness, and he had been grateful to have her every day since.
And if her light had been a little dimmer than Merlin's, Will knew it was just because it was a softer light, because she was a softer person. And if his heart had argued with his head a bit when he'd asked her to marry him, Will had known it was really just nerves, because he was finally letting go of one part of his life for another, more important one. And if, when times like today came around, his mind wandered to what could have been, Will knew that it would fade again as soon as he was out of Merlin's presence, because that wasn't his life anymore.
He watched his dark-haired, dark-eyed daughter run around after the football with the other 5- and 6-year-olds and felt his heart melt when he saw her wide, vibrant smile. Faylynn looked so much like her mother that it was sometimes hard to tell that he had any hand in her creation. That was until she opened her mouth. The poor thing had been blessed with his lack of tact… and that was not a good thing when children were already less than tactful.
She had, of course, also inherited his fighting spirit (that's what he liked to tell Freya it was). And Will chuckled as he watched Faylynn stiff-arm a little blond-haired, blue-eyed boy right in the chest, and tried not to think about the fact that Jackson Pendragon was Arthur and Merlin's son.
The truth is that Will can't go back and change things, so there's no point in dwelling on the past. All the plans that he and Merlin had made together were gone and, if Will really thought about it, they never were part of his recurring dreams. They only reared their ugly heads when Will was in Merlin's presence - and each time it happened, Will was observant enough to know that they were having less and less impact on his resolve.
Will's dreams and plans and life now revolved around Freya and Faylynn. His family. His girls. They were who mattered to Will. They were who he lived for.
And even if it hadn't seemed fair that he and Freya had somehow ended up in the same small town as Merlin and his family, Will knew that it was just another test in his life… another moment to make him even more of a man. Will may regret letting Merlin walk away, but maybe… well, maybe everything did happen for a reason.
Letting Merlin walk away was a regret, Will could admit, but Will would regret it even more if he didn't have these moments right now. This was what his dreams were made of and would be until the day he died.
Freya's hand slipped through the crook of Will's elbow and tightened. "Look!" she whispered. And Will was looking. He watched Faylynn maneuver the ball like a genius past three of the other teams players, Jackson included. She was only five, but she was a pro in the making.
He tightened his hand on Freya's and watched Faylynn kick the ball with all her pint-sized might and it slipped into the corner of the goal. And when that little girl looked, eyes full of wonder and a wide smile on her face, no one cheered louder than Will.