oh life....
i wonder who i would have become had certain critical things not happened in my life. would i have turned into someone completely different? would i still like the same things? get along with the same people? would i be passionate about the same issues?
i wonder where my life would be if i hadn't gone to early college. would i have enjoyed being at western all four years? would i be a guilford? (i know the answer to that one is NO) although i wonder about that decision all the time in my heart i know that going to early college was the best decision i ever made, i complain sometimes about putting fast forward on these past few years, but when i think back to all of the friends i made (true friends, not like those at western) i wouldn't want my life to be any other way. i was hated, loved, got my heart broken, made friends, lost friends, and every interaction with the people there made me a stronger person. sure the teachers pushed us too hard, and sure i probubly would have been at an ivy instead of guilford, but i had some amazing experiences at ecg that i will never forget, and that has made all the roller coaster years worth it.
i wonder what would have happened if i hadn't gone to guilford. would i have ended up like so many other alumni of ecg-failing out of school only to waste my talent at community college? or would i have gone to a better school and been the small fish in the big pond? or would i have excelled in an environment that pushed me to try things i will never do at guilford?
now i am at the point where i have to make a huge decision about the future. do i go down the path of law school or do i choose the path that involves a career where i get to help people? i scored too high on the LSAT to simply sit back and say that the dream of law school is unrealistic, it is within my grasp, but even though it has been my dream as far back as i can remember, i don't think that the person i am today really wants that path. i think the path to law school ended when i left western, but the dream followed me along. while i still want to be a lawyer, i also know that i someday want to settle down-get married, have kids, but if i am a lawyer i would have to work countless hours and live in the office making those dreams out of my reach. if i got into health care management i would have a stable job in a growth industry, i would be able to take the time and go into the peace corps and i would be able to have a life outside of work as well. i could go to the number two school in the nation for the program i want, not costing me more than what i pay for guilford in one year to complete the entire program while if i went to law school i would have to settle for a school that would put me a hundred grand in debt while barely breaking top twenty. its a hard decision...do i abandon my childhood dreams for one that is only a year in the making, or do i stick by them?
i make bad decisions everyday, about relationships, family, work, school: i just don't want my career to be one of those bad decisions, and i don't want to have to sit back in five years wondering why i set myself up for a life i don't like. i don't want the reason i don't go to law school to be because i was too scared to do it. i was too scared to apply to better undergraduate schools, and i question that decision everyday. if i choose not to go to law school i want it to be because the other path i chose fits ME better. not other peoples expectations of me-because i really don't care if my parents approve anymore, i just want to choose something that makes me happy, and if that's not law then i need to figure out a way to give up that dream.
i've noticed that i really only write in this thing when i'm frustrated with something, and i guess this time it is with myself, and my indecisiveness.
i wonder where my life would be if i hadn't gone to early college. would i have enjoyed being at western all four years? would i be a guilford? (i know the answer to that one is NO) although i wonder about that decision all the time in my heart i know that going to early college was the best decision i ever made, i complain sometimes about putting fast forward on these past few years, but when i think back to all of the friends i made (true friends, not like those at western) i wouldn't want my life to be any other way. i was hated, loved, got my heart broken, made friends, lost friends, and every interaction with the people there made me a stronger person. sure the teachers pushed us too hard, and sure i probubly would have been at an ivy instead of guilford, but i had some amazing experiences at ecg that i will never forget, and that has made all the roller coaster years worth it.
i wonder what would have happened if i hadn't gone to guilford. would i have ended up like so many other alumni of ecg-failing out of school only to waste my talent at community college? or would i have gone to a better school and been the small fish in the big pond? or would i have excelled in an environment that pushed me to try things i will never do at guilford?
now i am at the point where i have to make a huge decision about the future. do i go down the path of law school or do i choose the path that involves a career where i get to help people? i scored too high on the LSAT to simply sit back and say that the dream of law school is unrealistic, it is within my grasp, but even though it has been my dream as far back as i can remember, i don't think that the person i am today really wants that path. i think the path to law school ended when i left western, but the dream followed me along. while i still want to be a lawyer, i also know that i someday want to settle down-get married, have kids, but if i am a lawyer i would have to work countless hours and live in the office making those dreams out of my reach. if i got into health care management i would have a stable job in a growth industry, i would be able to take the time and go into the peace corps and i would be able to have a life outside of work as well. i could go to the number two school in the nation for the program i want, not costing me more than what i pay for guilford in one year to complete the entire program while if i went to law school i would have to settle for a school that would put me a hundred grand in debt while barely breaking top twenty. its a hard decision...do i abandon my childhood dreams for one that is only a year in the making, or do i stick by them?
i make bad decisions everyday, about relationships, family, work, school: i just don't want my career to be one of those bad decisions, and i don't want to have to sit back in five years wondering why i set myself up for a life i don't like. i don't want the reason i don't go to law school to be because i was too scared to do it. i was too scared to apply to better undergraduate schools, and i question that decision everyday. if i choose not to go to law school i want it to be because the other path i chose fits ME better. not other peoples expectations of me-because i really don't care if my parents approve anymore, i just want to choose something that makes me happy, and if that's not law then i need to figure out a way to give up that dream.
i've noticed that i really only write in this thing when i'm frustrated with something, and i guess this time it is with myself, and my indecisiveness.