Collide: Chapter 5, part three

Feb 24, 2007 00:14

A new chapter, two months to the day after the last. Gah. Thanks for your (mostly) patient waiting. This one is for aclytie who was patient and kind enough to stand up for me recently. :)

Title: Collide
Pairing: Remus/Sirius of Harry Potter fandom
Rating: NC-17 overall
Summary (for all parts): AU (Remus never went to Hogwarts). Everytime Remus gets close to someone, they start to uncover the truth about his strange disappearances and injuries. He can't stand the look on their face when he tells them the truth so instead he erases any trace of their relationship from their mind with a simple obliviate. Tired of getting intimate with someone only to become strangers again, Remus resolves never to get involved with anyone ever again. Of course, resolutions are made to be broken.
In this part: A couple makes vows, Remus makes a confession, and someone sees something they shouldn't have.
Previous parts: Chapter 1: part one | two | three
Chapter 2: part one | two
Chapter 3: part one | two | three | four
Chapter 4: part one | two | three | four
Chapter 5: part one | two


The instructions on the wedding invitation were explicit to the point of ridiculousness. Wizarding guests were asked to wear muggle clothes to the ceremony and a diagram was provided to show what constituted proper muggle wedding attire. A list of second-hand and department stores was also included with the invitation for those more isolated witches and wizards. Directions were given to the church with instructions on transportation. No Apparation was printed in large italicized letters. The church had a fireplace that Lily and James had hooked up to the Floo network and there was a request that if one wished to floo they contact James or Lily who would reply with a floo schedule to save guests tripping all over each other. No magic during the wedding ceremony please, the invitation stated. Remus smiled faintly when he thought of how Lily’s sister would react to a wizarding wedding during which the more elaborate the charms and pyrotechnics the better.

After the wedding, wizarding guests were to exit and find a isolated place to apparate to the reception hall graciously provided by a contact James knew through the Ministry. Here, any wizards or witches wishing to change into robes could do so. None of Lily’s muggle relatives were invited to the reception except for her parents. Her other muggle guests were told there was no reception and they seemed to accept this with very little fuss.

Remus took the tube over to the church after bundling up against the harsh February wind. Everywhere was decorated in red and pink for Valentines Day and he lost count of how many couples he passed holding hands and looking generally blissful. By the time he arrived at the church, he was getting tired of love being thrown in his face.

He took a seat near the front on Lily’s side in the pew behind Dumbledore but after Dumbledore insisted, he sat beside the older man instead. It was very odd seeing Dumbledore in muggle clothes, even though he was wearing an unusual purple three-piece suit that Remus suspected he had actually transfigured himself.

“Lovely day for a wedding,” Dumbledore said with a smile. Personally, Remus thought with the treacherous winds and sappy corny love all over the place it was a rather awful day but he didn’t say anything, just nodded.

“Of course, any day is lovely for a wedding.” Dumbledore went on to tell Remus an intricate story concerning his third cousin twice removed and their wedding in Scotland during which it rained so hard the brides veil fell off on the way to the carriage and landed in mud and Remus lost interest after that as Sirius took his place at the front of the church with James.

They both appeared to be nervous, James more than Sirius, and twice Remus saw Sirius murmuring things to James at which James grinned.

“Two of the brightest students that ever walked through Hogwarts’ doors,” Dumbledore mused.

“Oh really?” Remus had never thought about what Sirius must have been like at school. In fact, aside from the allusion to pranks in sixth year, and the books he had seen in Sirius’ study, he didn’t know much about his years at Hogwarts. “Did you teach them, sir?”

Dumbledore chuckled. “Oh, no. But I might as well have, given the number of times I saw them in my office. Quite the troublemakers, James and Sirius.”

“I can imagine,” Remus said.

“How did you come across them?” Dumbledore asked. “Not the library, I imagine.”

Remus smiled at that. “No, through Lily actually. I know her from St. Mungo’s.”

“Ah, yes… brilliant at Potions, Professor Slughorn always said. I wonder if he’s coming…” Dumbledore twisted around and waved at a few people behind him before turning back to Remus. “No, but a few of the other staff are here. Did Lily ever tell you she was head girl?”

“No, she didn’t.” Remus wasn’t surprised, especially after the talk she had given him a few days ago.

“Oh yes. Lily and James, head girl and boy. Fought like crups and kneazles, they did before their last year in school."

“What changed?” Remus asked. He found it hard to believe that Lily and James had ever been at odds with each other. The way Lily looked at him, well it was obvious the two were deeply in love.

“Hard to say,” Dumbledore mused, wrapping his beard around his finger. “James Potter really came into his own that year. His parents died, you see, and he was forced to grow up rather quickly, I’m afraid.”

“Oh,” Remus said softly.

“Lily noticed the change in him, I’m sure. We all did. I imagine that is what made her change her mind about James, though you would have to ask her to be certain. Sometimes I believe love has it’s own timing and all we can do is abide by it.”

Remus nodded and Dumbledore opened his mouth to say something else before a chord was struck on the large pipe organ. There was loud shuffling as the guests stood and turned towards the aisle. A tall and thin girl that Remus assumed was Lily's sister entered first, unsmiling. Moments later Lily Evans walked down the aisle, her father at her arm. Remus was sure he had never seen her looking so beautiful. Her red hair fell in rich curls past her shoulders, a stark contrast against her strapless white dress. She seemed to glow as she walked down the aisle, her eyes focused on her groom standing frozen at the front of the church. Her father kissed her cheek has he let her go, tears in his eyes.

“You may be seated,” the minister said in a rich deep voice and the ceremony began.

As far as weddings go, the Potter-Evans wedding ran fairly smoothly. A few rows in front of Remus, Lily's nephew started to wail while the minister went on about commitment, but was quickly silenced with a pacifier and murmured baby talk. Other than that, Remus was surprised and almost proud of his fellow witches and wizards who sat more or less quietly and attentively throughout the ceremony.

This was in stark contrast to their behaviour once they arrived at the reception hall. By the time the wedding party arrived, most of the witches and wizards were inebriated and there had been at least one loud explosion from the table a couple over from Remus'.

Remus himself was seated at a table of six. The other five guests were an elderly witch, Mabel, who liked to carry on loud conversations with the rat in her pocket, Colin the librarian who Remus had met at the stag party, Colin's wife Rosa - a handsome woman in deep fuchsia robes, Rupert - a large burly man to Remus' right, and a beautiful witch to Remus' left named Eloise Hunt. She was aristocracy and she wore it well, from her mink stole down to her glittering gold and jewelled rings on slender fingers. There was a certain tilt of her head that spoke of being accustomed to higher social functions and while they had carried on a small conversation shortly after Remus had arrived, she was now wandering about to various tables and socialising with other purebloods.

Remus twisted in his chair to watch the head table just as James called for a toast. There was a slight dip in the noise level but it wasn't until Sirius pulled his wand and silenced the majority of the guests with a spell that the hall quieted. James grinned at Sirius before standing, a goblet in his hand. He cleared his throat.

“Tradition dictates that I exalt the qualities of my future wife," James began, "but I've been going on about Lily's finer qualities for the better part of ten years now and I think if I say one more word, Black here may hex me." Sirius grinned and nodded in agreement. "So, instead I thought I would skip right to what matters." James looked down at his wife, who was slowly turning red at all the attention being directed towards her. He fumbled for her hand on the table before grasping it. "Lily," he started, "my love for you is as pure and true as the magic which runs throughout my veins. I will honour you, defend you, and cherish you for all eternity.”

Remus joined in the applause that followed as Lily stood and wrapped her arms around James before kissing him. Remus couldn't help but smile as James' arms wrapped around Lily tightly as if he would never let her go. He did let her go eventually, but Remus wasn't paying attention. His attention was focused on Sirius whose eyes were misting over as he watched his best mate become officially married in the eyes of the wizarding world. Sirius shook his head a little bit, as if to snap out of it before pointing his wand towards the tables and ending the silencing spell. There was a brief moment when their eyes met before Remus turned back towards his dinner.

"Breathe," he muttered to himself before turning back to his dinner.

"Interesting research Potter and Black are up to," Rupert remarked as Remus took a bite of broccoli once the noise had died down.

"Oh?"

"Yeah, werewolves, I reckon."

"Oh yes, I read about that in the Prophet," Remus replied evenly.

"Some more things to look into though," Rupert went on. "I mean, crime and income are correlated in any population, not just werewolves. Anyone in the slums is more likely to commit a crime."

"Yes, but werewolves are at a disadvantage to begin with. I mean, without even an opportunity to get a job, how can they be expected to break out of poverty?" Remus countered.

"True, but I just hope they don't start giving jobs to werewolves just because they're werewolves. I mean, werewolves are off work a few days a month. Not to mention they don't even live as long as normal people."

Remus flinched inwardly. He was trying to think of something polite to reply when someone approached their table. Thankful for the distraction, he looked up.

"Lupin, have you met Sirius Black?" Rupert asked, gesturing towards the man standing over Remus.

"Yes, I believe we've met before," Sirius said warmly before taking Remus' hand in his. "New Years, wasn't it?"

It was a moment before Remus remembered to nod and then to loosen his grasp on Sirius' hand.

"We were just discussing your research," Rupert said, oblivious to the glances exchanged between the other men.

"Oh really?"

"Yes, I find it particularly fascinating," Remus said before swallowing and saying the most terrifying thing he'd ever said in his life. "Being a, um, werewolf myself, the research is really quite relevant."

Remus reflected later, even if Sirius had run away in fright, it would have been almost worth it to see the look of shock upon Rupert's face. To Sirius' credit, he only missed a beat - a quick flutter of his eyelashes - before he gained his composure. "Yes I imagine as an employed werewolf you must have much to say on the topic," Sirius said smoothly.

Remus nodded and swallowed again before reaching for his goblet of water.

"I wouldn't mind discussing it in more detail with you later, if you get a moment," Sirius said, his gaze intense as he looked down at Remus.

"Yes, um, of course," Remus replied and felt a growing flush upon his cheeks in spite of himself.

"I look forward to it," Sirius said before turning to Rupert. "Rupert, a pleasure as always."

Rupert gave a curt nod before returning his attention to his dinner. Sirius smiled at Remus before turning towards the table beside them.

***

Four songs into the dance, Remus decided he was tired of hearing Rupert talk on about the muggle to wizarding conversion rate at Gringotts. Actually, he had decided this much earlier but after twenty minutes of watching people, including Sirius, dancing, Remus decided he wouldn't mind dancing himself.

"Excuse me," he said, interrupting Rupert mid-sentence. He got up from the table, not waiting for a reply, and made his way to the head table where Lily sat talking with Sirius.

"Mind if I steal Lily for a dance?" Remus asked.

"She's all yours," Sirius said, a slight smile on his lips.

"Don't I get a say in this?" Lily asked in an amused tone.

"Forgive me," Remus apologised. "Lily, may I have this dance?"

Lily pretended to deliberate for a moment before agreeing.

"Take good care of her," Sirius called after them, making Lily laugh.

"You look beautiful," Remus told her once they had found a spot on the crowded dance floor.

"Why, thank you. I'm glad there's photographic evidence because I will surely never look this good ever again."

Remus chuckled before asking how she felt the wedding had gone.

"Well. Suprisingly well," she answered. "I feel good, you know? I'm looking forward to when this is all over though… these shoes are really starting to kill, and Spain is looking better every moment I have to spend with all the purebloods in this room."

"They can be a bit stifling," Remus agreed. "When are you leaving?"

"Tonight, actually. James has a meeting on Monday at the Ministry with Sirius that I'm trying to talk him into not attending. I mean, honestly, it's my honeymoon! There's no way he's spending more time with his best mate than his wife!"

Remus smiled. "I'm sure he'll see reason as soon as you get the hotel keys," he told her.

She laughed, her breath tickling softly against his neck. "I hope so. The meeting's around four. You know, if you happened to be in the Ministry… you might happen to run into someone."

"Ah, is that so?"

Lily made a sound of agreement.

"Well I should review those new employment regulations," Remus mused.

"Definitely a good idea."

Remus smiled. Things might work out after all, he thought optimistically. The song ended a few moments later and they parted.

"Thank you for the dance, and good luck," she told him with a wink before stepping away. Remus turned and started as he almost ran into Sirius.

"Just the man I was looking for," Sirius said with an easy smile.

"Oh?" Remus tried to quash the butterflies that flared up in his stomach at the sight of that smile.

"Fancy a walk?"

"Sure," Remus agreed and followed Sirius out of the dancehall into the much quieter hallway.

They were silent for a moment, strolling down the hallway, both of their hands in their own pockets.

"Lovely night," Remus said after a moment when the silence became awkward. Sirius glanced at him, an unreadable expression on his face, before nodding.

"You didn't tell me you were a werewolf," he said softly.

A burst of panic erupted in Remus' chest and he found himself almost unable to speak. "Would it have mattered?" he asked finally.

Sirius shook his head almost immediately, his dark hair falling into his eyes. "No, of course not."

"You didn't tell me you were researching werewolves," Remus countered.

"No, I suppose I didn't. Would it have mattered?" he asked, meeting Remus' eyes.

"It wouldn't have changed anything, no," Remus admitted. Wouldn't have changed anything about that night, he corrected himself silently.

"Then I suppose we're back where we started," Sirius observed before breaking eye contact. "I meant to drop you an owl, you know, after New Years."

"I've been busy," Remus mumbled as an excuse. His chest ached and he wanted to reach out and touch Sirius as he had been touching him this past month - with an ease and comfort born of intimacy.

"Me too," Sirius said immediately, too earnestly. "I mean, I wouldn't have had any time, really. Getting the research together has taken up all my time."

You never told me you were busy before, Remus couldn't help but think before dismissing the thought. Things were different now. No point in thinking of the past.

"Are you busy now?" Remus asked softly, suddenly feeling shy.

"Not immediately," Sirius replied. The smile Sirius gave as he looked at Remus was one he knew well. It was similar to the way Sirius smiled before he got an idea that usually involved Remus undressed. This smile was a little less sure, a little more shy, but still had the same effect: Remus was immediately aroused.

This is so inappropriate, he groaned inwardly. He was at a wedding, for heaven sakes!

Sirius turned into a smaller corridor and Remus followed, his hands feeling sweaty in his pockets and his heart beating wildly in his chest.

"It's kind of strange, seeing James get married," Sirius said as he leaned against the wall. "I mean, in a lot of ways he's still the kid I knew at Hogwarts - still stupid most of the time." He grinned but it quickly faded. "But in other ways, he's changed…”

"Really?"

Sirius nodded. "And even though I know Lily is the perfect person for him and they'll live happily ever after and all that…" He shrugged before smiling self-deprecatingly. "I suppose I'm just jealous James is getting all the action," he joked but it felt empty to Remus.

"He doesn't have to be," Remus said, surprising himself and Sirius too, who raised his eyebrows.

"Oh really?" Sirius said in the teasing tone Remus was familiar with.

Remus nodded and braced himself against the wall as Sirius came closer.

"Really?" Sirius said again, softer, his mouth near Remus' ear.

Remus opened his mouth to answer but before he could utter a sound, he felt moist lips against his. Oh he had missed this. He had missed kissing Sirius even more than he had been willing to admit to himself and all that longing re-emerged as he clung to Sirius and kissed him deeper. All too soon it ended, with both of them fighting for breath.

"We shouldn't… here, I mean," Sirius said after a moment and went into a door Remus hadn't noticed before, pulling Remus in after him.

They were in a men's washroom, Remus realized before he was backed gently against the wall.

"Not ideal," Sirius murmured before kissing Remus on the neck. "But it will have to do."

Sirius sank to his knees in a way that made Remus wonder uneasily how many men's washroom's he had done this in. When Sirius undid his trousers and impatiently pushed his briefs down, it was such a contrast to their first night together that Remus almost told him to slow down. Then Sirius' mouth was engulfing his cock and he had trouble finding any words at all. It was needy, the way Sirius sucked him off, and detached. There was no teasing dialogue or eye-contact, and Remus wondered for a moment if he could have been anyone. He shut his eyes tightly and tried to shut out any thoughts except the feel of Sirius' mouth. It wasn’t hard when it felt like it had been so long since he had last touched Sirius. It was only when he came that his eyes shot open, a strangled cry escaping his lips and nearly masking the sound of a door closing.

Remus quickly turned his head the entrance, but there was no one there. Whoever had been there had already left.

"Fuck," Remus said under his breath before resting the back of his head against the wall. Below him Sirius made a sound of agreement.

"I thought I heard the door close."

Sirius stood quickly and glanced around before opening the door. He shook his head.

"No one there."

"I could have been hearing things," Remus conceded as he did up his trousers.

Sirius shrugged. "Maybe. I should get back. James is probably wondering where I wandered off to."

Remus nodded, unable to help the feeling of disappointment seeped into him. He watched as Sirius washed his hands and looked at himself briefly in the mirror.

"You coming?" he asked, pausing at the doorway.

Remus shook his head. "I'll be a minute."

"I'll see you around then," Sirius said with a faint smile before leaving, the door shutting quietly behind him.

Remus stood in the washroom for a long moment after Sirius had left, trying to sort out how he felt. He was supposed to feel happy, he knew, but for some reason he didn't. He only felt empty and the hole that had been ripped open when he had obliviated Sirius didn't feel mended at all. If anything it ached just as much.

He sighed and washed his hands before splashing some water on his face. Something told him that winning Sirius back was not going to be as easy as he had anticipated.

next part >

collide

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