(no subject)
I am in shock. I had just gotten to the point where I was starting to roll with the punches. And then stuff really started to hit home. Well, one thing. Before that: my friend in the hospital has a cyst blocking her ovaries. Not horrible, but still scary (she's 16! if she quit smoking she probably wouldn't have this problem). But on to the weird stuff. One of my friends got raped. But some 20 year old. I knew this stuff happened, but it was never supposed to happen so close to me. I'm not sure what to do, besides be there as a friend and be overtly protective. It makes me so mad, I'd like to say I'd find the guy and beat the shit out of him, but this makes me realize how incredibly powerless I am; if I were ever to get in a situation like that, I know I wouldn't be able to rely on brawns, only my wits, and who knows if I'll have those. And the guys at wp were to lazy to show up yesterday so there was no practice. ASSHOLES!! Also watched braveheart last night and have concluded throughout history the English have been arrogant assholes (joan of arc, harrassing the scots/irish), makes me feel better that this is not my discovery.
What bugs me most about this rape thing is that she did kinda let it slip to a teacher, and they're dealing with it (took over a week to get a dr's apt, she has one tomorrow, if she hadn't told the teachers, it woulda taken 3 FUCKING WEEKS!!). But I'm not sure they've told the police. I'm gonna talk to her today, I mean if she presses charges it's almost a sure thing, I mean the guy's in his twenties!! I think this it, I just can't take how horribly things keep going; I'm getting depressed. Another thing that weirded me out is I told my mom this, and she said "it's a guy's world." That surprised me, she's always encouraged my self-worth as a woman. To find out that's what she honestly believes, and in that context, hurts me, in a way I'm incapable of stopping. Only 99 days left today. Just to get this out: boys are assholes and the english suck.
EDIT: ok, everyone knew this was coming. First off, they are NOT REPORTING IT TO THE POLICE!! Despite the fact that this is illegal (I did double check, just cause the English do have some weird laws regarding sex). I want to report them and this asshole just to spite them. Bastards,. And now, for the rant about god. Comment if you want and tell me I'm wrong, but I will not apologize and quite frankly, I hope I offend you; at least it will mean I made you think. And if it does offend you, chew on this: your whole fate offends me and absolutely everything I stand for. If it makes you feel any better it hurts me to not be able to respect a different view, but this is honestly (besides the obvious like predjudice, racism, and sexism) the only thing I find I CANNOT share a view on. I welcome the critism. Here goes.
The problem is not that I do not believe in god; I believe in Him, I just wish the fucker weren't there. For a many number of reasons. Firstly, I do not understand how I, an unfaithful and essentially very bad person (as far as sins go, especially pride and greed), can live such a wonderful life, such a wonderfully blessed exsistence; and people who faithfully, entirely place themselves in god, suffer so much? WTF? How is it these devote people are slaughtered every day, in the most horrible, inhumane ways?
And this is the biggy..... Why the hell are we as humans going to be punished for our sins? Why do we need saving from our sins? What the fucking hell, isn't our fate pre-detirmined?!? Judas (I think) and Peter (I know) were both told by Jesus, part of the Holy Triad or whatever, essentially God, that they would betray him, Judas with a kiss and Peter three times. You don't call that predetirmined? Judas, who wholly belived in Jesus's cause, was not only mentally tormented but also possibly damned for all eternity, because God predetirmined it? I need saving, from a fate laid out for me? I do not understand how I am essentially MADE as sinful as I am, and that my soul, which essentially has no free will, will burn in hell for this? Mostly what confuses me most is when I put the two together. People's souls are predetirmined as faithful to whatever fucking lord (mostly picking on Christianity, the one I know most about), and yet not only are the likely going to be condemmed to limbo, their lives are wretched and their deaths doubley so? If I worship a higher being, it is Satan, because he defied god and his fucking limbo (what is the difference between that and hell; you want me to learn a lesson for sins YOU, god, made me do?). Satan doesn't preach that bad things happen to bad people and good things happen to the good, kind, faithful people. It just happens. The satanic religion preaches essentially the same as Christianity (commandment wise, cept the whole honor thy parents thing), they don't eat babies, and even have a commendment about rape! The bible is a dark, dark thing. Those of you who go to church every week, stop listening to that glorifying preacher. Read the damn thing, and I mean really really read it. It endorses slavery, ensures women are evil, and is racist and endorsesso bad perhaps). Think about the message you send by going to church every week. You are defying everything that makes you human, the spirit and your free will. I'm pretty sure God wouldn't want me saying this. I'm waiting for that lightening bolt, but my guess is it will go to someone who doesn't deserve it.
What bugs me most about this rape thing is that she did kinda let it slip to a teacher, and they're dealing with it (took over a week to get a dr's apt, she has one tomorrow, if she hadn't told the teachers, it woulda taken 3 FUCKING WEEKS!!). But I'm not sure they've told the police. I'm gonna talk to her today, I mean if she presses charges it's almost a sure thing, I mean the guy's in his twenties!! I think this it, I just can't take how horribly things keep going; I'm getting depressed. Another thing that weirded me out is I told my mom this, and she said "it's a guy's world." That surprised me, she's always encouraged my self-worth as a woman. To find out that's what she honestly believes, and in that context, hurts me, in a way I'm incapable of stopping. Only 99 days left today. Just to get this out: boys are assholes and the english suck.
EDIT: ok, everyone knew this was coming. First off, they are NOT REPORTING IT TO THE POLICE!! Despite the fact that this is illegal (I did double check, just cause the English do have some weird laws regarding sex). I want to report them and this asshole just to spite them. Bastards,. And now, for the rant about god. Comment if you want and tell me I'm wrong, but I will not apologize and quite frankly, I hope I offend you; at least it will mean I made you think. And if it does offend you, chew on this: your whole fate offends me and absolutely everything I stand for. If it makes you feel any better it hurts me to not be able to respect a different view, but this is honestly (besides the obvious like predjudice, racism, and sexism) the only thing I find I CANNOT share a view on. I welcome the critism. Here goes.
The problem is not that I do not believe in god; I believe in Him, I just wish the fucker weren't there. For a many number of reasons. Firstly, I do not understand how I, an unfaithful and essentially very bad person (as far as sins go, especially pride and greed), can live such a wonderful life, such a wonderfully blessed exsistence; and people who faithfully, entirely place themselves in god, suffer so much? WTF? How is it these devote people are slaughtered every day, in the most horrible, inhumane ways?
And this is the biggy..... Why the hell are we as humans going to be punished for our sins? Why do we need saving from our sins? What the fucking hell, isn't our fate pre-detirmined?!? Judas (I think) and Peter (I know) were both told by Jesus, part of the Holy Triad or whatever, essentially God, that they would betray him, Judas with a kiss and Peter three times. You don't call that predetirmined? Judas, who wholly belived in Jesus's cause, was not only mentally tormented but also possibly damned for all eternity, because God predetirmined it? I need saving, from a fate laid out for me? I do not understand how I am essentially MADE as sinful as I am, and that my soul, which essentially has no free will, will burn in hell for this? Mostly what confuses me most is when I put the two together. People's souls are predetirmined as faithful to whatever fucking lord (mostly picking on Christianity, the one I know most about), and yet not only are the likely going to be condemmed to limbo, their lives are wretched and their deaths doubley so? If I worship a higher being, it is Satan, because he defied god and his fucking limbo (what is the difference between that and hell; you want me to learn a lesson for sins YOU, god, made me do?). Satan doesn't preach that bad things happen to bad people and good things happen to the good, kind, faithful people. It just happens. The satanic religion preaches essentially the same as Christianity (commandment wise, cept the whole honor thy parents thing), they don't eat babies, and even have a commendment about rape! The bible is a dark, dark thing. Those of you who go to church every week, stop listening to that glorifying preacher. Read the damn thing, and I mean really really read it. It endorses slavery, ensures women are evil, and is racist and endorsesso bad perhaps). Think about the message you send by going to church every week. You are defying everything that makes you human, the spirit and your free will. I'm pretty sure God wouldn't want me saying this. I'm waiting for that lightening bolt, but my guess is it will go to someone who doesn't deserve it.