(no subject)
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!! THIS IS NOT HAPPENING BUT IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCK!!!!!!!!! More after school, after I get my first in a series of 16-18 minimum of one hour exams done. The longest is two 1/2. Great. I'm going to loose it. No one, NO ONE should have to deal with this, not even when they're grown up and mature! FUCKFUCKFUCK!!
Edit: Had first exam, wasn't so bad. Have another I didn't know about next Wed. Woop. But what I was freakin out about was that on Monday the two teachers that are primarily dealing with this rape thing called me in and said "We need you to talk to her and convince her to work with her group, because if she doesn't she'll regret it later." She's doing drama GCSE, and is in a group performance, so they're all graded on their performances. Basically she wanted me to manipulate her into doing it for the group instead of letting her go home and rest like she should be allowed to. I guess it had all just sunk in and she started having panic attacks and not being able to be around people. So instead of convincing her I just told her as it is "You should be able to rest and recuperate, but you just can't." That worked much better. But what ticked me off was that I am being taken out of class to play shrink. I just want to be a friend. She needs a real shrink, I wouldn't even be capable of it even if I wasn't stressed about my exams. But I called one of my mom's friends who works at the University w/ this kinda stuff who told me that not only was it rape, it's child abuse (not phedophileism, you can legally have sex at 16, weird). And the school should have contacted Child Protections to get her to a shrink, instead of me doing it. And she thinks I should go to a shrink too!! I'm not saying that I don't need to, I'm not going to (soooo done with them!!) but it's scary to see an outsiders perspective of how I'm handling this. Jesus Mother Theresa shouldn't have to handle this stuff, WTF makes anyone think I can? It just scares me that I am all the sudden the only support she has. I could really, really fuck up. And I barely make a good friend. Shit. And also, 3 of my friends got in big trouble (probably going to get suspended/not be able to sit their exams) for teasing some kid "Paki Paki Paki" basically like saying "Nigga Nigga Nigga." Serves them right those sons of bitches. And then we were walking down the street with my Italian friend and she has a blatant Italian accent and was talking and some guy randomly comes up and says, "Go back to your own fucking country." Poor Fred, she cried, I mean, only like two tears, but seriously, I have had it with the Brits. I feel really bad about sharing this info about how the school is handling the rape because my mom's friend, who I talked to, now says she is going to make sure her daughter isn't going there. She says it like she's thanking me, but I feel so guilty. Man this sucks. I am at a point where I don't think I can just suck it up anymore. I'm getting depressed again, uncomfortable around people. Oh well it'll all be better in three months (almost exactly!!) when I get to chop Mr Lange's balls off (if there are any). Ohhhh and yeah my kewl grandparents are here, they sailed over on the Queen Mary (I think), very very expensive. But no matter, I'm just glad they're here! AND I GOT AN INVITATION TO STUDY AT CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY THIS SUMMER!! AN INVATATION!!!
And Julien I got your package! You look great in your picture you sexy beast you! That made my day!
Edit: Had first exam, wasn't so bad. Have another I didn't know about next Wed. Woop. But what I was freakin out about was that on Monday the two teachers that are primarily dealing with this rape thing called me in and said "We need you to talk to her and convince her to work with her group, because if she doesn't she'll regret it later." She's doing drama GCSE, and is in a group performance, so they're all graded on their performances. Basically she wanted me to manipulate her into doing it for the group instead of letting her go home and rest like she should be allowed to. I guess it had all just sunk in and she started having panic attacks and not being able to be around people. So instead of convincing her I just told her as it is "You should be able to rest and recuperate, but you just can't." That worked much better. But what ticked me off was that I am being taken out of class to play shrink. I just want to be a friend. She needs a real shrink, I wouldn't even be capable of it even if I wasn't stressed about my exams. But I called one of my mom's friends who works at the University w/ this kinda stuff who told me that not only was it rape, it's child abuse (not phedophileism, you can legally have sex at 16, weird). And the school should have contacted Child Protections to get her to a shrink, instead of me doing it. And she thinks I should go to a shrink too!! I'm not saying that I don't need to, I'm not going to (soooo done with them!!) but it's scary to see an outsiders perspective of how I'm handling this. Jesus Mother Theresa shouldn't have to handle this stuff, WTF makes anyone think I can? It just scares me that I am all the sudden the only support she has. I could really, really fuck up. And I barely make a good friend. Shit. And also, 3 of my friends got in big trouble (probably going to get suspended/not be able to sit their exams) for teasing some kid "Paki Paki Paki" basically like saying "Nigga Nigga Nigga." Serves them right those sons of bitches. And then we were walking down the street with my Italian friend and she has a blatant Italian accent and was talking and some guy randomly comes up and says, "Go back to your own fucking country." Poor Fred, she cried, I mean, only like two tears, but seriously, I have had it with the Brits. I feel really bad about sharing this info about how the school is handling the rape because my mom's friend, who I talked to, now says she is going to make sure her daughter isn't going there. She says it like she's thanking me, but I feel so guilty. Man this sucks. I am at a point where I don't think I can just suck it up anymore. I'm getting depressed again, uncomfortable around people. Oh well it'll all be better in three months (almost exactly!!) when I get to chop Mr Lange's balls off (if there are any). Ohhhh and yeah my kewl grandparents are here, they sailed over on the Queen Mary (I think), very very expensive. But no matter, I'm just glad they're here! AND I GOT AN INVITATION TO STUDY AT CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY THIS SUMMER!! AN INVATATION!!!
And Julien I got your package! You look great in your picture you sexy beast you! That made my day!