This is why I should never be allowed to read meta.
So. As the subject line says, I've been reading meta. Mostly Te's meta, and does this *surprise* anyone? Why, no.
And last night I was trying to get back to some stories that I'd *started* and never finished. The Dick/Deathstroke PWP, the quasi-sequel that I'd been positing for rubynye's "To Conciliate A Tiger" and would of course never actually *post* without her permission, and the FearxBruce that got inspired by reading Te's journal perhaps too many times and too closely.
And they wouldn't *work* for me. The words wouldn't flow.
This bothers me. Here's why, in case you actually happen to be interested.
I am what could be described as a 'natural' or 'organic' writer. I rarely if ever need to *work* with writing a story. I just need an idea. Now after--and during--the story, I am *going* to edit. Because that's what I do. But *writing* the story takes very little effort, even when my fingers are moving and my brain is saying "No no no don't *do* this this isn't what I wanted to write STOP IT RIGHT NOW."
So it *bothers* me when a story doesn't flow. Because that means that something's wrong.
sisterjoanjulian: *glares evil glare of death at fics that refuse to be finished*
Yami no Kaiba: *pets in return*
sisterjoanjulian: Argh. Maybe the not-wanting-to-work-with-me is secretly a hint that I shouldn't be writing them?
Yami no Kaiba: No, it just means that its being recalcitrant.
sisterjoanjulian: *Why* is it being recalcitrant, though?
sisterjoanjulian: Am I writing it wrong? Not listening to the characters?
sisterjoanjulian: *glares another evil glare*
Ladies and gentlemen, Exhibit A. When I have to *work* at a story, when the words come out grudgingly if at all... I start to worry. Maybe this story is one that I shouldn't be writing, or shouldn't be writing *yet*. Maybe this story is one of those 'brilliant ideas, poor execution' things that are seen so often.
I do this with sex scenes, too: worry that I'm writing what *I* want, rather than what the characters would actually do. Worry that I'm coming off as the *very* inexperienced virgin that I actually am, instead of whoever the characters happen to be.
*headdesk*
Argh. *Essays* are what I have to work at. Not stories, not even when they make me *cry* and wibble. Because so long as I'm writing it? By God, there is no other way that the story can go. Because I *believe* in the story.
Unless it isn't flowing properly. If I have to work at it, if I have to cajole and plead, if the story comes to me reluctantly, I'm doing it wrong.
So. Anyone else write like this? You people who, for whatever reason, read this journal... how do you write? What bothers you in writing? What's your 'sign' that a story isn't working properly?
Distract me. These fics are being *frustrating*. Although the PWP was working well last night. Good porn. *pets the porn*
ETA: Thanks to Yami, I have finished the "To Conciliate A Tiger" quasi-sequel. Irritatingly enough, it is not about *Slade* and Dick. It's about *Tim* and Dick, and also is a hurty hurty thing.
My eyes are misting over, man. *Dick*. *Tim*. *OUCH*.
And last night I was trying to get back to some stories that I'd *started* and never finished. The Dick/Deathstroke PWP, the quasi-sequel that I'd been positing for rubynye's "To Conciliate A Tiger" and would of course never actually *post* without her permission, and the FearxBruce that got inspired by reading Te's journal perhaps too many times and too closely.
And they wouldn't *work* for me. The words wouldn't flow.
This bothers me. Here's why, in case you actually happen to be interested.
I am what could be described as a 'natural' or 'organic' writer. I rarely if ever need to *work* with writing a story. I just need an idea. Now after--and during--the story, I am *going* to edit. Because that's what I do. But *writing* the story takes very little effort, even when my fingers are moving and my brain is saying "No no no don't *do* this this isn't what I wanted to write STOP IT RIGHT NOW."
So it *bothers* me when a story doesn't flow. Because that means that something's wrong.
sisterjoanjulian: *glares evil glare of death at fics that refuse to be finished*
Yami no Kaiba: *pets in return*
sisterjoanjulian: Argh. Maybe the not-wanting-to-work-with-me is secretly a hint that I shouldn't be writing them?
Yami no Kaiba: No, it just means that its being recalcitrant.
sisterjoanjulian: *Why* is it being recalcitrant, though?
sisterjoanjulian: Am I writing it wrong? Not listening to the characters?
sisterjoanjulian: *glares another evil glare*
Ladies and gentlemen, Exhibit A. When I have to *work* at a story, when the words come out grudgingly if at all... I start to worry. Maybe this story is one that I shouldn't be writing, or shouldn't be writing *yet*. Maybe this story is one of those 'brilliant ideas, poor execution' things that are seen so often.
I do this with sex scenes, too: worry that I'm writing what *I* want, rather than what the characters would actually do. Worry that I'm coming off as the *very* inexperienced virgin that I actually am, instead of whoever the characters happen to be.
*headdesk*
Argh. *Essays* are what I have to work at. Not stories, not even when they make me *cry* and wibble. Because so long as I'm writing it? By God, there is no other way that the story can go. Because I *believe* in the story.
Unless it isn't flowing properly. If I have to work at it, if I have to cajole and plead, if the story comes to me reluctantly, I'm doing it wrong.
So. Anyone else write like this? You people who, for whatever reason, read this journal... how do you write? What bothers you in writing? What's your 'sign' that a story isn't working properly?
Distract me. These fics are being *frustrating*. Although the PWP was working well last night. Good porn. *pets the porn*
ETA: Thanks to Yami, I have finished the "To Conciliate A Tiger" quasi-sequel. Irritatingly enough, it is not about *Slade* and Dick. It's about *Tim* and Dick, and also is a hurty hurty thing.
My eyes are misting over, man. *Dick*. *Tim*. *OUCH*.