Day three: Pain
Blame my lack of a job. I have nothing to do but write.
Title: What it comes down to
Rating: PG
Warnings: Character death
Summary: They lose the war. Zuko and Katara are left to pick up the pieces.
This is how it starts.
The first day is the worst. Katara is in shock. She refuses to move from where she has crumpled next to the body of her brother. She doesn’t cry, doesn’t scream, just sits and looks blankly at Sokka’s still, bloodied face.
Zuko sets up camp for them, two tents at the base of the cliff, and tallies the food supplies they have. He can’t bring himself to look at the mangled bodies of Katara’s friends, his friends. It’s too much, but every now and then he catches his head turning unconsciously toward where Aang’s body lies by the rock pile. Zuko jerks his head away and finds some other task to busy himself with. In the end he has to resort to counting the pebbles at his feet to keep from thinking.
At nightfall he tries to bring Katara away from the bodies. She refuses to move at first, as still as the stone around her, completely disregarding his gentle entreaties to eat, to drink. When all else fails, Zuko has to move her bodily. She screams for the first time, some high sound that’s a mixture of anger and pain so deep that it breaks Zuko. She scratches him, bites him, as he lifts her as carefully as possible and carries her over to where he’s lit them a fire.
Although he puts her down gently, Katara collapses into a pile and cries for the rest of the night. He tucks her into one of tents, gives her tea brewed with herbs to help her sleep, then he drinks some himself.
Day two isn’t much better. Katara appears in the morning, dry-eyed but face blank of emotion. She refuses to eat anything; just sits huddled next to the fire and stares at the bodies. Zuko eats despite his lack of appetite; he’ll need strength enough for the two of them.
“We should bury them...” He says slowly, hesitantly and Katara gives a distracted nod.
Katara refuses to let him dig the graves. She does it herself, bare handed, scratching frantically at the dirt and stone, nails chipped and fingers bloodied. Whenever he tries to help, she shoves him away, arms shaking. The graves are shallow, so Zuko collects stones to put on top.
Zuko brings her the bodies when she’s finished. Suki first, he can’t stand to watch her grow any paler. He prays to every spirit he knows as Katara slowly refills the dirt on top of her.
He finds Toph next. She’s so small in his arms, body curled in on itself. Zuko can’t bring himself to look at her face as he gently sets her down in the grave. Of all of them, he loved her the most.
When they bury Sokka, Katara shakes so much Zuko’s afraid she might just fall in the grave with her brother and never get back out. He tries to put a hand on her shoulder but she shakes him off, tears beginning to leak down her cheeks.
Aang is the last one they bury. They stand over his open grave for a long moment. The last of the Airbenders, the last hope of the world, dead at their feet.
Zuko makes them dinner although he’s not hungry. They’ve worked all day and if they don’t eat something they won’t have enough strength to continue tomorrow.
Katara just sits across the fire from him. She shakes with silent sobs, but there are no tears on her face. Zuko had once wept like that, the first days of his banishment, but this i a hundred times worse. There is nothing he could say to her, so they remain silent.
Before they retire to their respective tents that night, Zuko sees the look in Katara’s eyes, the one that questions her existence while the others were not so lucky. Zuko understands, he’s been feeling that way all day. Stll, it scares him in Katara’s blue eyes. She was always so strong; he realizes that he was relying on that strength.
On the third day, they pack up camp. It’s too dangerous to stay exactly where Azula left them, their best chance is to sneak to the harbor, find a boat off the Fire Nation and hide. Appa’s gone, so they resort to walking. Zuko shoulders most of the supplies, but Katara insists silently that she carry her own tent. She shifts away from Zuko’s hands when he tries to take the bag and just looks at him.
They walk. Zuko looses track of time, of distance, and still they keep going. Every now and then, he pulls out the rations they have and makes them both eat. At night they sleep in any sheltered area they can find.
Their second day of walking, they pass a town in full celebration. They can only pick out a couple words from the shouting throngs, but it’s enough to know that news of Aang’s death has spread.
Day four, Katara still has said anything. The look still haunts her eyes and Zuko tries his best to distract her from it. He talks, about what he doesn’t know, just talks until his throat is raw and voice hoarse. Then he talks some more.
Day six, Fire Army blimps pass over them dangerously low. Zuko scrambles into a rocky outcropping, but when he turns to help Katara in after him, he finds she hasn’t followed. She’s still standing there, out in the open, just staring at the approaching blimps. Zuko swears and dives from his hiding place, catching her around the waist and dragging her back with him.
He asks her what she was thinking, but she just turns her head away. The look in her eyes is stronger than ever. “Katara,” he says as he shakes her, “you can’t give up, not now.”
“I don’t feel anything anymore.”
Zuko swallows and then draws her into a hug, a loose one, just one arm around her shoulders. They wait for fifteen minutes then keep walking.
Day eight, they've reached the harbor. Zuko sneaks them onto a boat unnoticed and by nightfall they’re out at sea once more. Amongst the boxes and barrels, Zuko makes a small bed for them and gives Katara his shirt for a pillow.
She looks at him as they rock gently with the waves and a tear slides down her cheek.
“I want to feel again,” she whispers. “Can you help me?”
This is what it comes down to.
Zuko doesn’t know what to do but kiss her. He knows it’s not enough, but it’ll have to do.
Title: What it comes down to
Rating: PG
Warnings: Character death
Summary: They lose the war. Zuko and Katara are left to pick up the pieces.
This is how it starts.
The first day is the worst. Katara is in shock. She refuses to move from where she has crumpled next to the body of her brother. She doesn’t cry, doesn’t scream, just sits and looks blankly at Sokka’s still, bloodied face.
Zuko sets up camp for them, two tents at the base of the cliff, and tallies the food supplies they have. He can’t bring himself to look at the mangled bodies of Katara’s friends, his friends. It’s too much, but every now and then he catches his head turning unconsciously toward where Aang’s body lies by the rock pile. Zuko jerks his head away and finds some other task to busy himself with. In the end he has to resort to counting the pebbles at his feet to keep from thinking.
At nightfall he tries to bring Katara away from the bodies. She refuses to move at first, as still as the stone around her, completely disregarding his gentle entreaties to eat, to drink. When all else fails, Zuko has to move her bodily. She screams for the first time, some high sound that’s a mixture of anger and pain so deep that it breaks Zuko. She scratches him, bites him, as he lifts her as carefully as possible and carries her over to where he’s lit them a fire.
Although he puts her down gently, Katara collapses into a pile and cries for the rest of the night. He tucks her into one of tents, gives her tea brewed with herbs to help her sleep, then he drinks some himself.
Day two isn’t much better. Katara appears in the morning, dry-eyed but face blank of emotion. She refuses to eat anything; just sits huddled next to the fire and stares at the bodies. Zuko eats despite his lack of appetite; he’ll need strength enough for the two of them.
“We should bury them...” He says slowly, hesitantly and Katara gives a distracted nod.
Katara refuses to let him dig the graves. She does it herself, bare handed, scratching frantically at the dirt and stone, nails chipped and fingers bloodied. Whenever he tries to help, she shoves him away, arms shaking. The graves are shallow, so Zuko collects stones to put on top.
Zuko brings her the bodies when she’s finished. Suki first, he can’t stand to watch her grow any paler. He prays to every spirit he knows as Katara slowly refills the dirt on top of her.
He finds Toph next. She’s so small in his arms, body curled in on itself. Zuko can’t bring himself to look at her face as he gently sets her down in the grave. Of all of them, he loved her the most.
When they bury Sokka, Katara shakes so much Zuko’s afraid she might just fall in the grave with her brother and never get back out. He tries to put a hand on her shoulder but she shakes him off, tears beginning to leak down her cheeks.
Aang is the last one they bury. They stand over his open grave for a long moment. The last of the Airbenders, the last hope of the world, dead at their feet.
Zuko makes them dinner although he’s not hungry. They’ve worked all day and if they don’t eat something they won’t have enough strength to continue tomorrow.
Katara just sits across the fire from him. She shakes with silent sobs, but there are no tears on her face. Zuko had once wept like that, the first days of his banishment, but this i a hundred times worse. There is nothing he could say to her, so they remain silent.
Before they retire to their respective tents that night, Zuko sees the look in Katara’s eyes, the one that questions her existence while the others were not so lucky. Zuko understands, he’s been feeling that way all day. Stll, it scares him in Katara’s blue eyes. She was always so strong; he realizes that he was relying on that strength.
On the third day, they pack up camp. It’s too dangerous to stay exactly where Azula left them, their best chance is to sneak to the harbor, find a boat off the Fire Nation and hide. Appa’s gone, so they resort to walking. Zuko shoulders most of the supplies, but Katara insists silently that she carry her own tent. She shifts away from Zuko’s hands when he tries to take the bag and just looks at him.
They walk. Zuko looses track of time, of distance, and still they keep going. Every now and then, he pulls out the rations they have and makes them both eat. At night they sleep in any sheltered area they can find.
Their second day of walking, they pass a town in full celebration. They can only pick out a couple words from the shouting throngs, but it’s enough to know that news of Aang’s death has spread.
Day four, Katara still has said anything. The look still haunts her eyes and Zuko tries his best to distract her from it. He talks, about what he doesn’t know, just talks until his throat is raw and voice hoarse. Then he talks some more.
Day six, Fire Army blimps pass over them dangerously low. Zuko scrambles into a rocky outcropping, but when he turns to help Katara in after him, he finds she hasn’t followed. She’s still standing there, out in the open, just staring at the approaching blimps. Zuko swears and dives from his hiding place, catching her around the waist and dragging her back with him.
He asks her what she was thinking, but she just turns her head away. The look in her eyes is stronger than ever. “Katara,” he says as he shakes her, “you can’t give up, not now.”
“I don’t feel anything anymore.”
Zuko swallows and then draws her into a hug, a loose one, just one arm around her shoulders. They wait for fifteen minutes then keep walking.
Day eight, they've reached the harbor. Zuko sneaks them onto a boat unnoticed and by nightfall they’re out at sea once more. Amongst the boxes and barrels, Zuko makes a small bed for them and gives Katara his shirt for a pillow.
She looks at him as they rock gently with the waves and a tear slides down her cheek.
“I want to feel again,” she whispers. “Can you help me?”
This is what it comes down to.
Zuko doesn’t know what to do but kiss her. He knows it’s not enough, but it’ll have to do.