Through a Glass, Lightly: Set Asunder - Chapter Six
Title: Through a Glass, Lightly: Set Asunder - Chapter Six
Summary: In the aftermath of New Caprica, nothing will be the same.
Genre: Alternate universe, but very familiar.
Rating: T
~ ~ ~ chapter six ~ ~ ~
Most of the feeling of hedonism and debauchery had been scrubbed clean from the President's office on Colonial One. Boxes full of files, previously relocated and forgotten in a dark corner of the cargo bay by Baltar, had been moved back to their proper location. The smell of sweat and smoke and gods only knew what else still lingered at the edges of the room on brief puffs of air, likely never to be completely purged from the carpeting. The office had been returned to as close to its original state as possible, as if Baltar's reign had never even happened. The new administration seemed to be making a concerted effort to move on and not linger in the past failures of the previous one.
It didn't make her trust Zarek any more.
"Admiral," he said with a forced smile, waving her into the office. The same office where she had spent many long hours with Bill, going over facts and figures, discussing the future and past, forging a friendship that would lead to more. She could see him sitting in the chair, his tie loosened and his feet propped up on the corner of the desk as they talked long into the night.
Stop it, she chided herself.
"Please, have a seat," Zarek offered, pointing at one of the high-backed flight seats that had been converted into a lounger. "What brings you over?"
She decided to cut to the chase. "Why have you been ordering executions in the fleet?"
Zarek stopped cold, halfway down to his seat, bracing himself with one hand. He smiled a bit uneasily and continued his descent. He obviously hadn't been expecting her to be so direct. "You certainly don't waste time," he said absently. "I'm not going to dance around it any more than you are, Admiral," he said, then sighed. He folded his hands together and placed them in his lap, fixing her with a narrowed gaze. "Why don't you have a seat?" he suggested again, nodding at the chair opposite him.
"I won't be staying long," she said briskly. "People have been executed...murdered, within the fleet on your orders. Seventeen on my own ship. Another dozen on Pegasus. People who were counted in the census throughout the fleet have also disappeared."
"Yes," he said simply.
"Why?"
He shrugged and looked out the nearest window toward the two Battlestars looming in the distance. "Crimes against humanity can't go unpunished, Admiral," he said slowly, his eyes narrowing. "Those who were suspected of being traitors were thoroughly investigated, judged and had their sentences summarily carried out. They gladly collaborated with the enemy."
"Some of them were certainly misguided, but to suggest that they gladly worked for the Cylons..."
"Some of them did," Zarek said sharply. She noticed a slight tremor in his right hand, which he immediately clenched to hide. "Some of them did. Some of them..." He shook his head and chuckled mirthlessly. "I personally ordered the execution of men who I had considered my comrades in the past. Men who were bought and paid for by the Cylons. It's amazing what a desperate man will do for a pack of cigarettes, a bottle of ambrosia, a quick roll on a pile of louse-infested blankets."
"You can carry out justice, but you don't kill them," Laura argued. "There are less than forty-thousand human souls left in the entire universe. We can't afford to throw so many of them away because they were wrong."
Zarek leaned back in his seat, a smirk curling one side of his lips upward. "One thing I learned over the years that's kept me alive. You never leave a traitor alive to stab you in the back later."
"Who says that people can't be redeemed?"
He chuckled and shook his head. "You have a far more optimistic view of humanity."
"And you represent the worst."
"Were you this argumentative with Adama?" he asked with narrowed eyes. "Like it or not, and I wish the circumstances were different, but I am the President and the office deserves a little respect."
"We argued plenty," Laura replied flatly. "I always added with all due respect when I needed to. You haven't earned that yet."
He smiled slightly and sighed. "Need I remind you that the only reason you're still alive is because I stuck my own neck out for you two? No one wishes he would walk through that curtain more than I do, Admiral," Zarek said, sounding close to sincere. "Except you, of course." He stood up, wincing as he straightened his body. Laura knew he'd suffered greatly at the hands of the Cylons, perhaps more than Bill had. That would explain the palsy in his hand and the yellowing bruises he tried to hide with his shirt sleeves. "Maybe everyone needs to move on from what happened. You, me, the entire fleet. I'll disband the tribunals and release anyone who is currently in custody immediately."
"Just like that?" Laura asked incredulously.
"Just like that." Zarek waved toward the curtain leading out of the office. "I'm sure you're itching to get out of here," he said. "You have a lot of work to do. Thank you for stopping by, Admiral."
She only nodded and turned on her heel to leave.
"Oh, and Laura?" he called after her.
The use of her name curled her stomach. She stopped and turned back to him. "Yes?"
"There are a lot of people in the fleet, even under your command, who would send you out an airlock as a traitor as well," he said in a flat voice. "I'd be careful if I were you."
Laura took a few steps toward him, hands clasped behind her back. "I know my crew, and I know where their feelings lie."
Zarek winced and rubbed his hands together slowly. "I don't think you should be quite so complacent," he said slowly. "You're walking a thin line. One step in the wrong direction and you'll fall over the edge. And if I were you, I wouldn't give traitors a second chance. They're not as grateful as you would think."
"Thank you for your concern," she replied flatly, narrowing her eyes. "I'll take your views into account."
He gave her a little smile and a nod. "Of course you will. Good night, Admiral."
No, she didn't trust Zarek at all.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The sun's warming rays felt good on his skin as he turned his face toward the sky. The whispering grasses tickled at his arms, bare to the elements around him. He craned his neck a bit and could see the red-tiled roof of his uncle's house, the one they visited during the summers as a child. He hated it there. No vidscreens, no computers, only chores and grasslands and endless days with nothing to do.
"Funny how I would give anything to spend another summer here," he muttered to his companion.
The Laura who kept visiting him in his dreams lay beside him, propped up onto her elbow and plucking at a stalk of wild wheat between her fingers. He'd grown used to her presence and accepted it as a manifestation of his growing madness and isolation.
"It's nice here," she replied with a smile, looking up at the clouds far above. "Probably a bit embellished from your memories though. I'm pretty sure the sky over Caprica was never that blue."
"It was when I was a kid," he countered, a bit put off by her nitpicking. "Besides, this is my escape, remember?"
"Yes, sir," she grinned back at him, giving him a sarcastic little flip of a salute. "Anything you say, sir."
He'd been coming here for what seemed to be at least a week, every hour he was alone and could get some peace. It started slow, quick flashes of memory that weaved together. She came to him in his dreams and eased him into a more solid vision of tranquility with a gentle touch to his arm. He knew it was a coping mechanism, but it was all he had right now.
"There's a place down by the river," he said, nodding toward the south. "Used to go there as a kid to hide from everyone. Might conjure up a cabin in the clearing there."
Something akin to sadness flickered across her features before they reset into the serene timelessness she normally wore.
"What?" he asked.
Her lips pursed and she sat up, tucking her knees against her chest. She plucked at the fabric of the red skirt she wore, smoothing it over her knees. "It's not real anyway," she muttered.
He puffed out an amused breath and shook his head. "None of this is," he said. "Especially not you."
She actually looked offended. "I'm as real as you are, Bill," she said in a tone that told him he'd better not argue. "I just exist in a different plane."
"Right," he snorted. "You know I don't believe in any of that. Or you."
She acted like someone had just shot her in the chest, taking a gasping breath and staggering to her feet. "You don't believe in me." She walked several steps away and leveled a finger at him. "Of all of the things you could have said..." she rasped bitterly. "But then, you've always known where to hit when you needed to. Don't believe in me? Fine." She took two steps toward him and looked down, her body looming over his. "When you were eight, and you went down to that river, what happened?"
Bill frowned and shook his head. "When I was eight?" He racked his brain, trying to remember, then tapped his fingers against the ground when he did. "I fell in."
"Yes," she confirmed. "You fell in. And remember how that family pulled you out right before you went under for good?"
"Yeah," he said slowly. "I got lucky."
"That wasn't luck," she countered. "That family came past right at that moment because they were looking for their dog, which happened to see a squirrel, ran off after it, leading them all toward the river. One minute earlier or even a few seconds later, and you would have died."
Bill snorted in disdain. "Pure luck," he said stubbornly.
"What do you think Fate is?" she asked. "It's not divine intervention, like some would believe. We're not Gods, he and I. But we've seen Gods come and go. We sat around, pulling strings when we had to, for thousands and thousands of years, making sure things came together the right way again. And when we realized that some things would have to change, we pulled some more strings. And I would be damned if I was going to let that much work go to waste because you didn't stay away from the edge of the river like you were told."
He scrubbed his face in his hands and stood up to face her eye to eye. "Look, I don't know what you're talking about, but I don't think you do either. Fate, Gods, all this talk about thousands of years, it's bullshit." He barely noticed the sky clouding over above him, no more of a passing flicker of information.
"In every life, you are always as stubborn as an old bull," she said, though the bitterness seemed to have passed. Now the sadness had returned, darkening her face. "But then, so am I." She raised her hand and drew it down his face slowly, her touch soothing and gentle. "I'll always be there to watch over you. But you're not ready to see what's right in front of your face. When you are, I'll know. You'll know. It will all come together and the end of the cycle will begin again." She took a step back and turned away, looking down at the ground. "By the way," she added. "She's...Laura's as fine as she can be, given the circumstances. She doesn't let anyone see her cry." She chuckled slightly, her shoulders bouncing twice. "Stronger than I was at closing it all off, I suppose. Don't push her too far away. You never know how much time you have left."
And with that, the golden field dissolved into the sterile greys of the Cylon ship and he was alone.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Lee yawned and rolled his shoulders wearily as he trudged back to his quarters. Now that he was living the life himself, he finally believed every time his mother told him about twenty-hour work days, skipped meals and forgotten breaks. The job of battlestar commander had been thrust upon him suddenly, and though he was willing to do do his duty, able was becoming another story. How she managed not to fall over from exhaustion was a miracle unto itself.
It didn't help that he'd begun working out in Pegasus's gym whenever he had a chance. Dee never said anything about his growing midsection, never gave him a disapproving glance, but he could see the satisfaction in her eyes every time he came back from the gym a little leaner and a lot sweatier. He'd laughed the other day when he sat up in bed and saw his muscles flex for the first time in months, grabbing her hand and putting it across his belly like a mother and growing child.
She'd shown him how enthusiastic she'd been about it as well. Twice.
Reaching the hatch of his quarters, he stepped inside and spun the lock closed for privacy. Dee worked nearly an opposite shift from him as his acting XO, and though they had several hours together in the CIC, he preferred to rest as much as possible before her shift ended so they could spend time off duty as a couple.
"Heya, Commander Cupcake," came the surprising words from the corner of the room.
Lee nearly jumped out of his skin and spun, noticing Kara sitting in a chair along the wall for the first time. She had her legs folded under her, boots on the leather upholstery, holding a bottle of the last of Admiral Cain's personal stash in her hand.
"Kara," he stammered, glancing back at the hatch. "What are you...how did you get in here?" There's no way his guards would have let her in without his permission.
"Might want to start rotating your Marines a bit more," she replied. "Or at least post two at once. Poor Lesner had to take a leak, with no one to relieve him." She grinned suddenly. "So to speak."
Lee blinked and put his hands on his hips. "Running a little thin over here," he replied. "I lost a ton of people on New Caprica. Some of the ones who survived won't even come back to the ship."
"Can't say I blame 'em," Kara shrugged. She waved at her own civilian clothing. "They got a free pass to not get shot at all the time."
Lee slowly walked over to her and sat down heavily in the chair beside hers, heaving a great sigh when the length of the day suddenly hit him. "What are you doing here?" he asked. "Something tells me you're not here to poke holes in my security detail."
"No, I'm here to poke holes in Galactica's," she said. She unfolded her legs and set her feet on the ground, then leaned forward and braced her elbows on her knees. "Mood's bad over there."
"You think?" Lee scoffed. "I heard about your little witch hunts. I don't think civilized society has done that in, what, over a century? The Canceron Trials?"
Kara snorted. "This is a little different from burning people who were accused of demon possession. These people were all traitors."
Lee scrubbed his hand over the evening stubble on his cheeks. "Yeah," he mumbled. "Been hearing a lot about that from the crew. We had them here too, until Zarek called them off yesterday. Right under my frakking nose."
"Which brings us right back to where we were just a minute ago," Kara pointed out. "Galactica. Word around ship is that a lot of people aren't happy with the Admiral."
Lee stood up quickly and moved to the center of the room, away from Kara, away from his own thoughts. "I've heard similar. A lot of whispers."
"A lot of people are blaming her for what happened on New Caprica."
He was silent, only turning his eyes back to Kara when she sat up straight in her chair.
"Holy shit," she exclaimed on a gasping breath. "You blame her too."
"It's not like that..."
"The frak it isn't!" Kara stood up and crossed the room toward him, moving into his personal space so quickly that he took a stumbling step back. "You think that things would have been any different if she had been on Galactica when the Cylons turned up?"
"I don't know," Lee said in frustration. "Maybe."
"What if she had decided to launch an attack rather than jumping away? Like you did?" Kara poked his shoulder with two fingers, deliberately goading him.
Lee snarled and swatted at her hand. "What if? Huh? It all comes down to what ifs. You think I didn't frakking agonize about that for three months? What if she wasn't down there instead of up here, doing her duty? What if I hadn't left?"
"Yeah, and what if the Cylons came back when you and I were frakking in the dirt on New Caprica?" Kara sneered. "Or when you and Dee went down there for a week? It could have happened any time, to anyone."
"But it happened then, to her," Lee argued, his voice dropping to a hoarse whisper. "And we're all paying the price for it. She's the Admiral. Not me."
Kara crossed her arms and clenched her jaw. "So you're saying she's the reason why we lost over three-thousand people? Why I've spent the last few days flushing my crewmates out of airlocks? It's easy to blame someone else, isn't it?"
"It is."
"Yeah, well if she'd been on Galactica when the Cylons returned and had ordered a fight, we'd all be dead."
Lee could only look away into thin air, away from Kara.
"She went down there to see him. Do you blame her for wanting to be happy?" Kara whispered. "Can you blame any of us for that?"
"This isn't about you and me."
Kara smiled and took a step back. "You're right. And you're wrong. It's you and me and everyone else." She shook her head bitterly. "A lot of people got lost. A lot of people got hurt. And they're going to start piling all of the sins at her feet rather than at Baltar's, because he's not around for the ass-kicking. You need to help take some of this heat off of her. She doesn't even feel it yet."
Lee sighed as he felt his entire body sag from exhaustion. "I'll see what I can do," he said.
"Do that," Kara said pointedly, her eyes narrowing. "And remember. She's the Admiral, but she's still your mother. She's also a woman who lost the only guy she ever really loved. Not a good place to be right now. I should know."
"And what do you know about that?" Lee asked quietly.
"More than you would think," Kara whispered. She headed over to the hatch and spun it open, swinging the heavy door wide before looking back over her shoulder. "You should be careful too. The mess is going to splash up and hit a lot of people." She closed the hatch behind her, leaving him with his guilt.
~ ~ ~ end chapter six ~ ~ ~
Summary: In the aftermath of New Caprica, nothing will be the same.
Genre: Alternate universe, but very familiar.
Rating: T
~ ~ ~ chapter six ~ ~ ~
Most of the feeling of hedonism and debauchery had been scrubbed clean from the President's office on Colonial One. Boxes full of files, previously relocated and forgotten in a dark corner of the cargo bay by Baltar, had been moved back to their proper location. The smell of sweat and smoke and gods only knew what else still lingered at the edges of the room on brief puffs of air, likely never to be completely purged from the carpeting. The office had been returned to as close to its original state as possible, as if Baltar's reign had never even happened. The new administration seemed to be making a concerted effort to move on and not linger in the past failures of the previous one.
It didn't make her trust Zarek any more.
"Admiral," he said with a forced smile, waving her into the office. The same office where she had spent many long hours with Bill, going over facts and figures, discussing the future and past, forging a friendship that would lead to more. She could see him sitting in the chair, his tie loosened and his feet propped up on the corner of the desk as they talked long into the night.
Stop it, she chided herself.
"Please, have a seat," Zarek offered, pointing at one of the high-backed flight seats that had been converted into a lounger. "What brings you over?"
She decided to cut to the chase. "Why have you been ordering executions in the fleet?"
Zarek stopped cold, halfway down to his seat, bracing himself with one hand. He smiled a bit uneasily and continued his descent. He obviously hadn't been expecting her to be so direct. "You certainly don't waste time," he said absently. "I'm not going to dance around it any more than you are, Admiral," he said, then sighed. He folded his hands together and placed them in his lap, fixing her with a narrowed gaze. "Why don't you have a seat?" he suggested again, nodding at the chair opposite him.
"I won't be staying long," she said briskly. "People have been executed...murdered, within the fleet on your orders. Seventeen on my own ship. Another dozen on Pegasus. People who were counted in the census throughout the fleet have also disappeared."
"Yes," he said simply.
"Why?"
He shrugged and looked out the nearest window toward the two Battlestars looming in the distance. "Crimes against humanity can't go unpunished, Admiral," he said slowly, his eyes narrowing. "Those who were suspected of being traitors were thoroughly investigated, judged and had their sentences summarily carried out. They gladly collaborated with the enemy."
"Some of them were certainly misguided, but to suggest that they gladly worked for the Cylons..."
"Some of them did," Zarek said sharply. She noticed a slight tremor in his right hand, which he immediately clenched to hide. "Some of them did. Some of them..." He shook his head and chuckled mirthlessly. "I personally ordered the execution of men who I had considered my comrades in the past. Men who were bought and paid for by the Cylons. It's amazing what a desperate man will do for a pack of cigarettes, a bottle of ambrosia, a quick roll on a pile of louse-infested blankets."
"You can carry out justice, but you don't kill them," Laura argued. "There are less than forty-thousand human souls left in the entire universe. We can't afford to throw so many of them away because they were wrong."
Zarek leaned back in his seat, a smirk curling one side of his lips upward. "One thing I learned over the years that's kept me alive. You never leave a traitor alive to stab you in the back later."
"Who says that people can't be redeemed?"
He chuckled and shook his head. "You have a far more optimistic view of humanity."
"And you represent the worst."
"Were you this argumentative with Adama?" he asked with narrowed eyes. "Like it or not, and I wish the circumstances were different, but I am the President and the office deserves a little respect."
"We argued plenty," Laura replied flatly. "I always added with all due respect when I needed to. You haven't earned that yet."
He smiled slightly and sighed. "Need I remind you that the only reason you're still alive is because I stuck my own neck out for you two? No one wishes he would walk through that curtain more than I do, Admiral," Zarek said, sounding close to sincere. "Except you, of course." He stood up, wincing as he straightened his body. Laura knew he'd suffered greatly at the hands of the Cylons, perhaps more than Bill had. That would explain the palsy in his hand and the yellowing bruises he tried to hide with his shirt sleeves. "Maybe everyone needs to move on from what happened. You, me, the entire fleet. I'll disband the tribunals and release anyone who is currently in custody immediately."
"Just like that?" Laura asked incredulously.
"Just like that." Zarek waved toward the curtain leading out of the office. "I'm sure you're itching to get out of here," he said. "You have a lot of work to do. Thank you for stopping by, Admiral."
She only nodded and turned on her heel to leave.
"Oh, and Laura?" he called after her.
The use of her name curled her stomach. She stopped and turned back to him. "Yes?"
"There are a lot of people in the fleet, even under your command, who would send you out an airlock as a traitor as well," he said in a flat voice. "I'd be careful if I were you."
Laura took a few steps toward him, hands clasped behind her back. "I know my crew, and I know where their feelings lie."
Zarek winced and rubbed his hands together slowly. "I don't think you should be quite so complacent," he said slowly. "You're walking a thin line. One step in the wrong direction and you'll fall over the edge. And if I were you, I wouldn't give traitors a second chance. They're not as grateful as you would think."
"Thank you for your concern," she replied flatly, narrowing her eyes. "I'll take your views into account."
He gave her a little smile and a nod. "Of course you will. Good night, Admiral."
No, she didn't trust Zarek at all.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The sun's warming rays felt good on his skin as he turned his face toward the sky. The whispering grasses tickled at his arms, bare to the elements around him. He craned his neck a bit and could see the red-tiled roof of his uncle's house, the one they visited during the summers as a child. He hated it there. No vidscreens, no computers, only chores and grasslands and endless days with nothing to do.
"Funny how I would give anything to spend another summer here," he muttered to his companion.
The Laura who kept visiting him in his dreams lay beside him, propped up onto her elbow and plucking at a stalk of wild wheat between her fingers. He'd grown used to her presence and accepted it as a manifestation of his growing madness and isolation.
"It's nice here," she replied with a smile, looking up at the clouds far above. "Probably a bit embellished from your memories though. I'm pretty sure the sky over Caprica was never that blue."
"It was when I was a kid," he countered, a bit put off by her nitpicking. "Besides, this is my escape, remember?"
"Yes, sir," she grinned back at him, giving him a sarcastic little flip of a salute. "Anything you say, sir."
He'd been coming here for what seemed to be at least a week, every hour he was alone and could get some peace. It started slow, quick flashes of memory that weaved together. She came to him in his dreams and eased him into a more solid vision of tranquility with a gentle touch to his arm. He knew it was a coping mechanism, but it was all he had right now.
"There's a place down by the river," he said, nodding toward the south. "Used to go there as a kid to hide from everyone. Might conjure up a cabin in the clearing there."
Something akin to sadness flickered across her features before they reset into the serene timelessness she normally wore.
"What?" he asked.
Her lips pursed and she sat up, tucking her knees against her chest. She plucked at the fabric of the red skirt she wore, smoothing it over her knees. "It's not real anyway," she muttered.
He puffed out an amused breath and shook his head. "None of this is," he said. "Especially not you."
She actually looked offended. "I'm as real as you are, Bill," she said in a tone that told him he'd better not argue. "I just exist in a different plane."
"Right," he snorted. "You know I don't believe in any of that. Or you."
She acted like someone had just shot her in the chest, taking a gasping breath and staggering to her feet. "You don't believe in me." She walked several steps away and leveled a finger at him. "Of all of the things you could have said..." she rasped bitterly. "But then, you've always known where to hit when you needed to. Don't believe in me? Fine." She took two steps toward him and looked down, her body looming over his. "When you were eight, and you went down to that river, what happened?"
Bill frowned and shook his head. "When I was eight?" He racked his brain, trying to remember, then tapped his fingers against the ground when he did. "I fell in."
"Yes," she confirmed. "You fell in. And remember how that family pulled you out right before you went under for good?"
"Yeah," he said slowly. "I got lucky."
"That wasn't luck," she countered. "That family came past right at that moment because they were looking for their dog, which happened to see a squirrel, ran off after it, leading them all toward the river. One minute earlier or even a few seconds later, and you would have died."
Bill snorted in disdain. "Pure luck," he said stubbornly.
"What do you think Fate is?" she asked. "It's not divine intervention, like some would believe. We're not Gods, he and I. But we've seen Gods come and go. We sat around, pulling strings when we had to, for thousands and thousands of years, making sure things came together the right way again. And when we realized that some things would have to change, we pulled some more strings. And I would be damned if I was going to let that much work go to waste because you didn't stay away from the edge of the river like you were told."
He scrubbed his face in his hands and stood up to face her eye to eye. "Look, I don't know what you're talking about, but I don't think you do either. Fate, Gods, all this talk about thousands of years, it's bullshit." He barely noticed the sky clouding over above him, no more of a passing flicker of information.
"In every life, you are always as stubborn as an old bull," she said, though the bitterness seemed to have passed. Now the sadness had returned, darkening her face. "But then, so am I." She raised her hand and drew it down his face slowly, her touch soothing and gentle. "I'll always be there to watch over you. But you're not ready to see what's right in front of your face. When you are, I'll know. You'll know. It will all come together and the end of the cycle will begin again." She took a step back and turned away, looking down at the ground. "By the way," she added. "She's...Laura's as fine as she can be, given the circumstances. She doesn't let anyone see her cry." She chuckled slightly, her shoulders bouncing twice. "Stronger than I was at closing it all off, I suppose. Don't push her too far away. You never know how much time you have left."
And with that, the golden field dissolved into the sterile greys of the Cylon ship and he was alone.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Lee yawned and rolled his shoulders wearily as he trudged back to his quarters. Now that he was living the life himself, he finally believed every time his mother told him about twenty-hour work days, skipped meals and forgotten breaks. The job of battlestar commander had been thrust upon him suddenly, and though he was willing to do do his duty, able was becoming another story. How she managed not to fall over from exhaustion was a miracle unto itself.
It didn't help that he'd begun working out in Pegasus's gym whenever he had a chance. Dee never said anything about his growing midsection, never gave him a disapproving glance, but he could see the satisfaction in her eyes every time he came back from the gym a little leaner and a lot sweatier. He'd laughed the other day when he sat up in bed and saw his muscles flex for the first time in months, grabbing her hand and putting it across his belly like a mother and growing child.
She'd shown him how enthusiastic she'd been about it as well. Twice.
Reaching the hatch of his quarters, he stepped inside and spun the lock closed for privacy. Dee worked nearly an opposite shift from him as his acting XO, and though they had several hours together in the CIC, he preferred to rest as much as possible before her shift ended so they could spend time off duty as a couple.
"Heya, Commander Cupcake," came the surprising words from the corner of the room.
Lee nearly jumped out of his skin and spun, noticing Kara sitting in a chair along the wall for the first time. She had her legs folded under her, boots on the leather upholstery, holding a bottle of the last of Admiral Cain's personal stash in her hand.
"Kara," he stammered, glancing back at the hatch. "What are you...how did you get in here?" There's no way his guards would have let her in without his permission.
"Might want to start rotating your Marines a bit more," she replied. "Or at least post two at once. Poor Lesner had to take a leak, with no one to relieve him." She grinned suddenly. "So to speak."
Lee blinked and put his hands on his hips. "Running a little thin over here," he replied. "I lost a ton of people on New Caprica. Some of the ones who survived won't even come back to the ship."
"Can't say I blame 'em," Kara shrugged. She waved at her own civilian clothing. "They got a free pass to not get shot at all the time."
Lee slowly walked over to her and sat down heavily in the chair beside hers, heaving a great sigh when the length of the day suddenly hit him. "What are you doing here?" he asked. "Something tells me you're not here to poke holes in my security detail."
"No, I'm here to poke holes in Galactica's," she said. She unfolded her legs and set her feet on the ground, then leaned forward and braced her elbows on her knees. "Mood's bad over there."
"You think?" Lee scoffed. "I heard about your little witch hunts. I don't think civilized society has done that in, what, over a century? The Canceron Trials?"
Kara snorted. "This is a little different from burning people who were accused of demon possession. These people were all traitors."
Lee scrubbed his hand over the evening stubble on his cheeks. "Yeah," he mumbled. "Been hearing a lot about that from the crew. We had them here too, until Zarek called them off yesterday. Right under my frakking nose."
"Which brings us right back to where we were just a minute ago," Kara pointed out. "Galactica. Word around ship is that a lot of people aren't happy with the Admiral."
Lee stood up quickly and moved to the center of the room, away from Kara, away from his own thoughts. "I've heard similar. A lot of whispers."
"A lot of people are blaming her for what happened on New Caprica."
He was silent, only turning his eyes back to Kara when she sat up straight in her chair.
"Holy shit," she exclaimed on a gasping breath. "You blame her too."
"It's not like that..."
"The frak it isn't!" Kara stood up and crossed the room toward him, moving into his personal space so quickly that he took a stumbling step back. "You think that things would have been any different if she had been on Galactica when the Cylons turned up?"
"I don't know," Lee said in frustration. "Maybe."
"What if she had decided to launch an attack rather than jumping away? Like you did?" Kara poked his shoulder with two fingers, deliberately goading him.
Lee snarled and swatted at her hand. "What if? Huh? It all comes down to what ifs. You think I didn't frakking agonize about that for three months? What if she wasn't down there instead of up here, doing her duty? What if I hadn't left?"
"Yeah, and what if the Cylons came back when you and I were frakking in the dirt on New Caprica?" Kara sneered. "Or when you and Dee went down there for a week? It could have happened any time, to anyone."
"But it happened then, to her," Lee argued, his voice dropping to a hoarse whisper. "And we're all paying the price for it. She's the Admiral. Not me."
Kara crossed her arms and clenched her jaw. "So you're saying she's the reason why we lost over three-thousand people? Why I've spent the last few days flushing my crewmates out of airlocks? It's easy to blame someone else, isn't it?"
"It is."
"Yeah, well if she'd been on Galactica when the Cylons returned and had ordered a fight, we'd all be dead."
Lee could only look away into thin air, away from Kara.
"She went down there to see him. Do you blame her for wanting to be happy?" Kara whispered. "Can you blame any of us for that?"
"This isn't about you and me."
Kara smiled and took a step back. "You're right. And you're wrong. It's you and me and everyone else." She shook her head bitterly. "A lot of people got lost. A lot of people got hurt. And they're going to start piling all of the sins at her feet rather than at Baltar's, because he's not around for the ass-kicking. You need to help take some of this heat off of her. She doesn't even feel it yet."
Lee sighed as he felt his entire body sag from exhaustion. "I'll see what I can do," he said.
"Do that," Kara said pointedly, her eyes narrowing. "And remember. She's the Admiral, but she's still your mother. She's also a woman who lost the only guy she ever really loved. Not a good place to be right now. I should know."
"And what do you know about that?" Lee asked quietly.
"More than you would think," Kara whispered. She headed over to the hatch and spun it open, swinging the heavy door wide before looking back over her shoulder. "You should be careful too. The mess is going to splash up and hit a lot of people." She closed the hatch behind her, leaving him with his guilt.
~ ~ ~ end chapter six ~ ~ ~