Gone and probably forgotten...
I'm so lonely. And homesick. And the worst part about it is there is no one to talk to and the people I want to talk to most are either busy or never call. Only one person calls to talk to me. Only one. And I've only just met this person, and they know almost nothing about me. I miss you guys a lot, and I hope you aren't forgetting me, cause I sorta feel forgotten. I know it's probably unfounded and grounded in my own internal insecurities, but I still feel so alone. I think I may be becoming depressed. My life has come to a roadblock and my future is becoming ever more unattainable. I don't know where I'm going to live in the fall, I have no job, and I have no transportation. I cannot rely solely on other people, because I know they will grow to resent my dependency. I need to learn to be self- reliant. I suppose all of this alone time will help me learn that. It's just so sad. I am a social creature by nature and when I have no one to talk to it drives me deep into sadness. My greatest fear is being forgotten. Even the love that people have for me is being questioned. I find myself thinking constantly of people that I care deeply for and then sighing because I know they are too busy with their own lives to think of me. Otherwise, they would call. Granted I know I've done things to the ones I love that disqualifies me from ever deserving their love again. But, I didn't mean it, I didn't want it to hurt so bad. I find myself constantly on the brink of tears, because I know that I am not worth the small amount of love that I have been shown thus far in my life. And I am lonely. So, if you're reading this, and you find you haven't forgotten me, or that you still might love me, please call me. I'll be awake, I have insomnia.You can visit if you like, also. 1-972-679-4783.
Love,
Kim
Love,
Kim