[gutteral invection]
Ugh. Helluva day, Esteban.
Substituted 7th grade Life Science today. Tomorrow I bargain into locking the gig Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday 'til the end of the school year. I blame the repeated blows to the head for me doing this. Three two-period blocks of hormonal, summer-eager, hyperactive little bastards...
To begin: the teacher for whom I'm subbing had to bail near the middle of the school year (give or take; I only know the innuendos). Since then, the students have been receiving sub after sub after sub. This lack of consistency has had a serious echo in their behaviors, a psychic taint that can be seen from space. I'd love to take helm of the class, but Denver Public Schools pays but once a month; I need Monday and Tuesday to earn weekly money. I hate to sound like a Lifetime movie, but the society has all but given up on most of these kids - through no necessary fault of the school employees: the operative word here is triage. There's too much red tape and hoops and not enough money to give these guys what we need.
So, yes, I get a full-mast just thinking about over half of my tax dollars funding the military. (And eighty cents to the dollar in Iraq going to private businesses to boot!)
So I'm the guy they don't expect to see again, a fly-by-night john. They try to trip me or trick me, and there were too many times I wanted to blow my stack. "How come you never yell at the white kids?" Wincesmile, "If you weren't so busy trying to grapple each other, you'd've heard me tell Hillary to behave as well. For future reference, I do not appreciate that accusation"
I know they're testing their boundaries. I know it's so close to summer. I know I'm a sub. I know these kids have had it rough, and more than one of them is latchkey. I know in many ways they're still kids, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to shut the lights off and have them spend twenty minutes with their heads down on their desks.
My second class asked if they could have the rest of class (the aforementioned twenty minutes) free to do whatever. I did snap and say that that's what they've spend all morning doing, and no, I want them sitting in their seats and if they do that, they may converse quietly. One girl pipes up: "You can't do that. You can't expect us to just be quiet. School's almost out and we're kids and we need time to play around. It's not fair for you to be telling what to do all the time and use big words."
"So," says the evil troll in green pinstripe, "I'm to treat you like an adult when you want to be treated like an adult and treat you like a child when you want to be treated like a child‽" Pause. "I know what it's like, and all I'm asking is to be met halfway. I'd love it if you guys sat quietly and studied, but I know that's not going to happen. I just want you to settle down a bit."
I suspect things will get better with consistency. I hope things will get better with consistency.
*sigh*
[NOTE TO SELF: When the teaching gig comes through in the end, erect a small shrine in the back corner of the room with a stuffed fish. Label it "Venerable Hippoglossus hippoglossus". Explain to students that the fish is to be respected at all times. Later, when a "Why should I?" power struggle begins, gesture to the fish and say, "Do it for the halibut."]
And then I get - what? You thought I was done? - and then I get home and I need to file for Financial Aid. Great. Ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom.
So it turns out that the sum that had been quoted to me is the product of getting it from both ends like a pair of Chinese finger-cuffs. The loan amount is small because my FAFSA required my '06 tax return, when I was working full-time for a livable wage (plus bennies!). I'm not now, but that's just the way these things play out. My tuition is higher than the Stokes crowd on a Friday night (or any other day/time for that matter) because I'm not yet a qualified Colorado resident. There's a third figure lurking in the eaves - ridiculous textbook charges - but I can't figure out how to paint him into the grand sodomy scene. OK, I can think of ways, but I'm trying to keep this post a moderate R.
Anyway, I have to log onto my school's site to accept the loan amounts. They buried the link, but I found it and clicked to accept the $3.7K. Signing the electronic promissory note is another story. Different website, this one, once I create an account, mandates that I sit through a "counseling session". There's a screen full of text regarding the nature of student loans, then several multiple choice questions I have to answer about the above passage before I can move on.
> If I default on my student loans, which of the following can I expect?
A) My credit rating will be damaged
B) Loan collection agencies will not be allowed to call me
C) I should review deferment options
D) Nothing.
Nowhere is there the option of clicking "I already have loans and know what I'm doing".
After six pages of this crap, I reach the stage where I have to draw up a monthly post-school budget. Seriously. I cannot proceed until I fill in a gross monthly income, less 28% for withholdings, and subtract housing, utilities, transportation costs....
If they make me do one of these at the end of my classes, I'm going to go postal.
It doesn't help that my dreams were punctuated with memories/amalgamations of One Year Ago. I think I performed six eulogies.
... Also one you-goo-ga-lee.
I take this to mean that the Processing portion of my brain is allowing me to be human, warts, bad jokes and all? Dayv?
Substituted 7th grade Life Science today. Tomorrow I bargain into locking the gig Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday 'til the end of the school year. I blame the repeated blows to the head for me doing this. Three two-period blocks of hormonal, summer-eager, hyperactive little bastards...
To begin: the teacher for whom I'm subbing had to bail near the middle of the school year (give or take; I only know the innuendos). Since then, the students have been receiving sub after sub after sub. This lack of consistency has had a serious echo in their behaviors, a psychic taint that can be seen from space. I'd love to take helm of the class, but Denver Public Schools pays but once a month; I need Monday and Tuesday to earn weekly money. I hate to sound like a Lifetime movie, but the society has all but given up on most of these kids - through no necessary fault of the school employees: the operative word here is triage. There's too much red tape and hoops and not enough money to give these guys what we need.
So, yes, I get a full-mast just thinking about over half of my tax dollars funding the military. (And eighty cents to the dollar in Iraq going to private businesses to boot!)
So I'm the guy they don't expect to see again, a fly-by-night john. They try to trip me or trick me, and there were too many times I wanted to blow my stack. "How come you never yell at the white kids?" Wincesmile, "If you weren't so busy trying to grapple each other, you'd've heard me tell Hillary to behave as well. For future reference, I do not appreciate that accusation"
I know they're testing their boundaries. I know it's so close to summer. I know I'm a sub. I know these kids have had it rough, and more than one of them is latchkey. I know in many ways they're still kids, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to shut the lights off and have them spend twenty minutes with their heads down on their desks.
My second class asked if they could have the rest of class (the aforementioned twenty minutes) free to do whatever. I did snap and say that that's what they've spend all morning doing, and no, I want them sitting in their seats and if they do that, they may converse quietly. One girl pipes up: "You can't do that. You can't expect us to just be quiet. School's almost out and we're kids and we need time to play around. It's not fair for you to be telling what to do all the time and use big words."
"So," says the evil troll in green pinstripe, "I'm to treat you like an adult when you want to be treated like an adult and treat you like a child when you want to be treated like a child‽" Pause. "I know what it's like, and all I'm asking is to be met halfway. I'd love it if you guys sat quietly and studied, but I know that's not going to happen. I just want you to settle down a bit."
I suspect things will get better with consistency. I hope things will get better with consistency.
*sigh*
[NOTE TO SELF: When the teaching gig comes through in the end, erect a small shrine in the back corner of the room with a stuffed fish. Label it "Venerable Hippoglossus hippoglossus". Explain to students that the fish is to be respected at all times. Later, when a "Why should I?" power struggle begins, gesture to the fish and say, "Do it for the halibut."]
And then I get - what? You thought I was done? - and then I get home and I need to file for Financial Aid. Great. Ba-da-bing, ba-da-boom.
So it turns out that the sum that had been quoted to me is the product of getting it from both ends like a pair of Chinese finger-cuffs. The loan amount is small because my FAFSA required my '06 tax return, when I was working full-time for a livable wage (plus bennies!). I'm not now, but that's just the way these things play out. My tuition is higher than the Stokes crowd on a Friday night (or any other day/time for that matter) because I'm not yet a qualified Colorado resident. There's a third figure lurking in the eaves - ridiculous textbook charges - but I can't figure out how to paint him into the grand sodomy scene. OK, I can think of ways, but I'm trying to keep this post a moderate R.
Anyway, I have to log onto my school's site to accept the loan amounts. They buried the link, but I found it and clicked to accept the $3.7K. Signing the electronic promissory note is another story. Different website, this one, once I create an account, mandates that I sit through a "counseling session". There's a screen full of text regarding the nature of student loans, then several multiple choice questions I have to answer about the above passage before I can move on.
> If I default on my student loans, which of the following can I expect?
A) My credit rating will be damaged
B) Loan collection agencies will not be allowed to call me
C) I should review deferment options
D) Nothing.
Nowhere is there the option of clicking "I already have loans and know what I'm doing".
After six pages of this crap, I reach the stage where I have to draw up a monthly post-school budget. Seriously. I cannot proceed until I fill in a gross monthly income, less 28% for withholdings, and subtract housing, utilities, transportation costs....
If they make me do one of these at the end of my classes, I'm going to go postal.
It doesn't help that my dreams were punctuated with memories/amalgamations of One Year Ago. I think I performed six eulogies.
... Also one you-goo-ga-lee.
I take this to mean that the Processing portion of my brain is allowing me to be human, warts, bad jokes and all? Dayv?