addictions
work was good today, frankston was nearly empty - and so the shop was down money wise, it's probably the hulking new development that was attached to the side of Myer.
can't sleep again - i was listening to the little bit of music that is left and it was on shuffle, (a move i now regret) when the Jitterbug came on. it was played at Alice's funeral, she said that it would make people tap their feet, that's why she would have wanted it played. and although people are all moving on, and saying you should smile when the song comes on - as that's what she would have wanted, i find it hard. it's just so fucking bittersweet.
i want to smile - because everything that was so wonderful about her comes through this song, but i want to cry because she deserved more time. So, i smile and i cry - and then i feel selfish and pathetic for crying over a girl i'd only briefly known, i have no right to cry. And then i feel masochistic - because i just have to keep listening to the song, it's like an addiction, i just keep playing it over and over.
so i avoid the jitterbug as much as possible.
10 days of school left, then exams. and my highschool life is officially over. i wish i could say 'yay!' but right now it just makes me feel sick.
...that could be the fact that it's 1.40am and i have english crap to do tomorrow morning. oh well.
p.s. Meidafest is on this coming friday (the 14th), starts at 7pm in bardon house, be there or be square. ;)
can't sleep again - i was listening to the little bit of music that is left and it was on shuffle, (a move i now regret) when the Jitterbug came on. it was played at Alice's funeral, she said that it would make people tap their feet, that's why she would have wanted it played. and although people are all moving on, and saying you should smile when the song comes on - as that's what she would have wanted, i find it hard. it's just so fucking bittersweet.
i want to smile - because everything that was so wonderful about her comes through this song, but i want to cry because she deserved more time. So, i smile and i cry - and then i feel selfish and pathetic for crying over a girl i'd only briefly known, i have no right to cry. And then i feel masochistic - because i just have to keep listening to the song, it's like an addiction, i just keep playing it over and over.
so i avoid the jitterbug as much as possible.
10 days of school left, then exams. and my highschool life is officially over. i wish i could say 'yay!' but right now it just makes me feel sick.
...that could be the fact that it's 1.40am and i have english crap to do tomorrow morning. oh well.
p.s. Meidafest is on this coming friday (the 14th), starts at 7pm in bardon house, be there or be square. ;)