In bed with God
so i started geting a wee bit freake out about leaving for san diego.
it was actually because my horse and i had an amazing ride today...we hit all the jumps all perfect. she's so cute but also very bitchy at the same time. always wants to do what she wants. my horse, i mean. anyway it freaked me out because am i really gonna be able to come hgome every saturday to ride her????? probably not. i'm really sad because riding is the only that i have ever found that i don't get sick of doing...even though its alot of work i love it all... i've never founf anything else like that at all... and it gets me on such great highs. SUCH A HIGH you have no idea. BLEH!~!@!@!!!!! whats going to happen when i can't come home?????> is my sister gonna ride her???? MY SISTER CAN"T CLEAN ANYTHING,.
when i get stressed my ocd comes back and i have to clean everything and tidy everything. and if my sister takes care of my horse and the tack room all is going to go to hell. i HAVE to have EVERUTHING at 90 degree angles next to each other. i doubt my sister will treat MY equipment with the same love. i refuse to come home to a mess.
plus i fell like going away is going to shoot my relationship with quin to hell. we are at two completely different times in our lives. i'm over high school. he's still apart of it. we're expieriencing two very different things. i'm begining something and he's ending something. we just aren't on the same page in our lives. it makes it very hard.
plus i'm the jealous type.
i can be very ugly when i want to be.
it was actually because my horse and i had an amazing ride today...we hit all the jumps all perfect. she's so cute but also very bitchy at the same time. always wants to do what she wants. my horse, i mean. anyway it freaked me out because am i really gonna be able to come hgome every saturday to ride her????? probably not. i'm really sad because riding is the only that i have ever found that i don't get sick of doing...even though its alot of work i love it all... i've never founf anything else like that at all... and it gets me on such great highs. SUCH A HIGH you have no idea. BLEH!~!@!@!!!!! whats going to happen when i can't come home?????> is my sister gonna ride her???? MY SISTER CAN"T CLEAN ANYTHING,.
when i get stressed my ocd comes back and i have to clean everything and tidy everything. and if my sister takes care of my horse and the tack room all is going to go to hell. i HAVE to have EVERUTHING at 90 degree angles next to each other. i doubt my sister will treat MY equipment with the same love. i refuse to come home to a mess.
plus i fell like going away is going to shoot my relationship with quin to hell. we are at two completely different times in our lives. i'm over high school. he's still apart of it. we're expieriencing two very different things. i'm begining something and he's ending something. we just aren't on the same page in our lives. it makes it very hard.
plus i'm the jealous type.
i can be very ugly when i want to be.