to see the beauty in imperfection is to see beauty
today was one of those emotionally bittersweet days.
we went through all of my grandmother's stuff. closets upon closets of clothes. she was the epitome of the words vogue and sophistication. the daughters went through everything. i recieved her pearls.
if i have one goal in life it would to be loved as much as she was.
i wake up every morning and think of her. how i can be more like her. she is so much apart of me. and i'm not letting go. i know what its like when people say of their dead loved ones "i think of them everyday" because i do. and its not that bad. because i love her and i want to remember her. it doesnt really hurt that much as it makes me happy. but i still feel pain. that pain wont leave. but i dont mind its presence. i can deal with it. its life. and i am determind to live it.
so yeah, i guess i'm okay. because really, is anyone actually really fine deep inside. we all have wars inside of us. i dont really think that there is one person that could really say i am perfectly okay. we can be happy. put pain is just as much apart of happiness as it is apart of our lives.
no one ever really agknowledge that fact that she died the day after i turned 16. i look back on that week and try to remember how i got through it. and then i remember the friends. and i think wow, so there is hope.
thank you to everyone who even just offered to give me support. just those words helped more than you will ever know.
we went through all of my grandmother's stuff. closets upon closets of clothes. she was the epitome of the words vogue and sophistication. the daughters went through everything. i recieved her pearls.
if i have one goal in life it would to be loved as much as she was.
i wake up every morning and think of her. how i can be more like her. she is so much apart of me. and i'm not letting go. i know what its like when people say of their dead loved ones "i think of them everyday" because i do. and its not that bad. because i love her and i want to remember her. it doesnt really hurt that much as it makes me happy. but i still feel pain. that pain wont leave. but i dont mind its presence. i can deal with it. its life. and i am determind to live it.
so yeah, i guess i'm okay. because really, is anyone actually really fine deep inside. we all have wars inside of us. i dont really think that there is one person that could really say i am perfectly okay. we can be happy. put pain is just as much apart of happiness as it is apart of our lives.
no one ever really agknowledge that fact that she died the day after i turned 16. i look back on that week and try to remember how i got through it. and then i remember the friends. and i think wow, so there is hope.
thank you to everyone who even just offered to give me support. just those words helped more than you will ever know.