Robin Hood 3.01 - Total Eclipse (of the heart)
Do you know that’s been well over a year since the end of season 2 and my last episode review? Call me a sap (because I am) but I’ve missed Robin Hood Saturdays more than I thought possible! I’ve missed the squee and the tree!porn and the comment-ficcing and the OH MUCH and god, more than anything I’ve missed all of you! RH remains the fandom of my heart, largely because this is the fandom where I met some truly shiny people who went from fellow fangirls to friends in less time than it takes Allan to pick a tight pocket. So excuse me for being a little emotional... *wipes surreptitious tear*
*pulls self together*
Okay gang! Hoist your bows, unsheathe your swords, tighten your bandannas and lace up those leather pants! Everyone ready? Let's go then. Because...
O hai Tuck! Do we know where exactly he’s been?
Robin! Much!!! Allan! John! The gang! *hugs them all*
B-b-but why are you running Rob-- Holy fuck did he just hit John???
AUDIBLE GASP!!!
“You leech!” He... STOP SHOUTING AT MUCH AND HITTING HIM YOU FUCKING BASTARD OMG!!
Yay for Allan defending Much though, I loved seeing that. For so long Much was the one everyone picked on but finally they stand up for him!
WHEEEEEE THE MUSIC *bounces on spot* but omgwtf that glimpse of Much tied up (topless! *pervs*)
God, Robin you’re going to make me dislike you so much this season, aren’t you? Also, your hair looks really stupid.
And c’mon Marian would so not want Robin to go all V for Vendetta...
O hai Guy! Again, what’s up with the hair?
And we’re plunging straight into a fight scene! This episode surely didn’t leave much time for breathing... Kudos for that, I loved the action bits.
Guy kidnapping the little girl... (is it only me or did anyone else find that child a little... creepy?)
Oh Much your faaaaaace!
How can Guy even run in those pants? *watches with fascination*
See I really wanted to Robin and Guy both go stumbling over the cliff here... But instead we get a random show of upper body strength from Guy (and a rather unsubtle grope of Robin’s ass)
Oh Much! “I’ll kill you!” His life falling over the edge (literally)... and he totally fails revenge. And gets imprisoned! O NOES THEY BE TAKING MAH BUCKIT MUCH!
Heee! Sheriff! Oh man, I missed Keith Allen and his glee!face.
Oh Much baby, crying... *heart breaks into a million pieces* Seriously, this is too much, no one needs too see that... It’s like the sun stopped shining and the birds stopped singing and everything good in the world was snuffed out. D’:
Lol “princely backside”.
Oh god, Guy’s goth make-up. What’s up with that?
Brother Tuck has his own cave? A... a Tuck-cave? Like the Bat-cave only holier?
See, like I predicted; Guy’s gone completely off the rails now. Richard Armitage does that frothing-at-the-mouth-eye-rolling-psycho thing quite well.
Ahahaha BORTHER TUCK, I APPROVE! “*punches Robin* Rest in peace my son!”
No seriously, Guy’s goth look is teetering on that thin line between hot and ridiculous. I mean, if he walked into a leather club looking like that, he’d get eaten alive. And not necessarily in a good way.
I also approve of Brother Tuck’s ropework. Simple but effective. Ah, this show is so bondage-friendly *serene smile*
Lol “flame of England”.
Nonononononoooooooooooooooo Much!
***
We interrupt your regular review programming for some quality letch-time. UNF UNF UNF MUCH. Can’t. Stop. Staring. At. His. Hipbones. Nnnggghhhh, it’s really kind of wrong how hot he looks like that, all semi-naked and vulnerable and strung up... Oh shut up, like you all aren’t thinking the same thing. Own your kinks, people. It usually leads to more orgasms fun-times.
***
Anyway! Much! God he’s being so brave, back-talking to the Sheriff...
AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!1 I actually screamed when the Sheriff used the branding iron OMG WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO MEEEEEEEEEE????? *shakes*
Oh Much baby, in a cage like a orphaned puppy, cannot deal......
Much is fooling them right? Right? Yeah baby, you show them! *punches air*
What’s up with Robin’s giant cross-tattoo? That’s new, right? I can’t remember it from before... (well hey, at least he didn’t get Marian’s face tattooed onto his chest or something, small mercies right?)
God Robin is such an idiot... Go Tuck! So, this no killing rule... Tuck should instigate others. Like DO NOT BE SUCH A WHINY BITCH.
OH GOD STOP BURYING MUCH ALIVE. *is traumatized*
HEEEEEEEEEEEE Little John to the rescue! Sheer comic genius with Much being raised out behind Sheriff’s back. Loved that!
Robin is so sulky. *smacks him*
Yes Robin, speak to your scruffy gang! Might start by telling them that bit about them being the bravest men in England and how you would die for them.
...wtf now with the moon calendar? For a while there I actually thought he was gonna like raise Marian’s ghost or something.
*licks Guy’s throat* ...What? It was on display. And dude, if you expose your throat like that to me, I’m gonna take it as an invitation...
Tuck has a pla-a-a-an... *sing-songs*
Oh Much baby, you’re so trusting... His faith just never wavers... EVEN WHEN IT SHOULD.
Tuck, I like you man, I really do, but you just gone and gotten Much arrested again! Not cool!
Robin has a shrine... from Habitat?
Lol, Sheriff’s little grrr!
That moon is awesome. But boy does it not belong in England... Aha, it’s a solar eclipse Tucks is relying on for his plan!
Ouch! Whatever happened to a good old fashioned hanging?
Homeland Security! Terrorists! AHAHAHA SOCIAL COMMENTARY FTW! You so subtle writers, truly.
Climb faster Robin!
Tuck has a sparkler! And is a cracking showman. Awesome.
Um, camera-angle failure... you can see the new moon behind Robin where it really shouldn’t be just after a supposed eclipse...
Lol, Much’s face when he hands Robin and Tuck their weapons. All “c’mon already you muppets!”
Ooooh go Guy! Pushing Sheriff over the table... *pervs* Nothing more dangerous than a man that has nothing to lose.
Robin... actually said he’s sorry??? Like, out loud? *keels over in shock*
Also Much! Stop being so forgiving! I don’t care if Tuck’s ploy worked and Robin has re-discovered his inner hero or what the fuck ever. The fact still remains that Much got tortured! With a branding iron! NOT ON!
General: I have issues, mainly... 1. WHAT’S UP WITH MUCH-BASHING, WRITERS? HAVE YOU NOT LEARNT YOUR LESSON YET? DON’T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE AND TEACH IT TO YOU WITH A BRICKWALL. 2. Anyone else think that Robin’s change of heart was a little too fast? Like his “rar vengeance” was annoying and stupid but understandable. I have a feeling they’re now just going to bury the Marian issue as effectively as Robin buried her ring, and make room for the new female character who I fear will be an inevitable love interest for Robin... Sigh. 3. I fucking miss Will and Djaq. ;_;
However, despite everything, I still love the show. It’s so good to see everyone again, the fight-scenes and the cheesiness and the historical inaccuracies ... Love it all. It’s Robin Hood, and I’m like physically incapable of not loving it. It’s kinda like a naughty puppy that pees on your floor but is too adorable to actually kick out.
Next time: King of Ireland! \o/ Mary-Sue Kate... Um, reserving judgment.